


Better Man

by kakashisgf



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adult Content, Affairs, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotions, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Family, Post-Canon, Romance, Smut, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-02-12 00:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12947676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakashisgf/pseuds/kakashisgf
Summary: Sakura and Sasuke have been married for over a decade, but things are far from perfect, and Sakura's beginning to realize that maybe she deserves better. KakaSaku





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in the *Naruto Gaiden* timeline. I estimated ages based on the assumption that the Rookie 9's kids are somewhere around 11-12. In my world, Sakura and Sasuke had Sarada around age 18-19, so they are each 30. Kakashi is 44. There will be some SasuSaku, but it's necessary. Also, the Sasuke in this story won't be the complete d-bag I imagined he would be in my original ItaSaku Better Man idea. While I'm not particularly happy about the way the manga ended, I am following from where it left off, and I do think Sasuke grew up a bit based on his portrayal there, so the Sasuke in this story reflects that. That having been said, this IS a KakaSaku story.
> 
> Oh, and it WILL have adult content. It's rated M for a reason ... underage peoples beware.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto. This story is purely a work of fanfiction.
> 
> Note: This story was originally published (by me) on ff.net, so if you read it there, there's no need to read it here :)

4 a.m.

Sakura lay awake in the dark, right arm resting on her forehead, palm of her hand facing the ceiling. Her body was bathed in the hazy moonlight that reached through thin curtains as she stared upwards, but the rest of the room was in shadows. If she tried, she could just make out the door frame ... and she tried.

She'd been tossing and turning for hours, unable to sleep. Every so often, her gaze would shift unconsciously to the door. She knew it wasn't going to open, but she couldn't help looking. She sighed, rolled onto her left side to face the door, and, with one last glance at the dark outline, closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep.

 

It was no good.

Even with her eyes closed, she couldn't quiet her thoughts. As it had been for most of her life, her mind was on Sasuke. Her husband. She still had trouble believing it, and they'd been married for over a decade now. There was something unreal about having what you'd wanted for so long when it had always seemed so far out of reach.

Maybe "having" wasn't the right word; she didn't "have" Sasuke. Far from it, really. And it was this knowledge that kept her awake at night. It wasn't that she wanted to own him or to control him … she just wanted more of him. More of his touch, more of his voice, more of his  _time_. When had he last been home? Akatsuki had been quelled completely at last, and she'd thought he would come home for good, leaving only for the usual short-term missions.

He didn't. He was still out there, on pretense of ensuring that no new groups had arisen to take Akatsuki's place. She knew better. ANBU could handle scouting like that, as they always had. She knew he was out there because he didn't want to be  _here_. With her. With their daughter. With Naruto.

Sakura sighed again and rolled back over, slinging her arm a bit roughly into the pillow behind her head. She deserved better than this, this nearly colorless life she led. It was as if he had taken the sun with him when he went, and now she was stuck in this dull world.

She huffed. What a silly thought. Sasuke had always carried darkness with him, not light. It was she who had painted him with the sun in the life she imagined for them. And she still did - she still imagined a vibrant and happy life, browsing the stalls at the market on Saturdays, sparring amidst the green leaves that lent Konoha its name, laughing over meals with their daughter. She even imagined them having another child, a son with the same dark hair and eyes as his father and sister but with her fiery nature.

She knew that, in his own way, he loved her, he loved Sarada and his village. Of course, it had taken some time for him to reconcile what he knew of Konoha's past and the decisions that had had such tragic consequences for his family, but that final fight with Naruto had opened something in him that allowed him to let them back in … or perhaps to let them in for the first time.

Yet it didn't seem to be enough.

Sakura's fist tightened and pressed harder into the pillow.

Sasuke still couldn't stay in the village for long before he had to get out. And while a part of her understood, the rest of her was beginning to think that 15 years should have been enough time to settle his demons, at least enough to stay for the sake of his family. Their daughter hadn't even seen her father once in her life until a few months ago, and then only because  _she_ had gone in search of  _him_. But what was almost worse was that Sarada had barely seen him since; he'd stayed for a couple of weeks after the battle with the clones before making his excuses and taking off. He came back only once after that, for two days.

Sakura knew she loved him. She knew that she'd been in love with him for most of her life.

She sighed again. Even the verb tense she used when she thought about him lately gave away the struggle she was having … "she knew that she  _had been_  in love with him ..." But no, there was no way she had fallen out of love. He had been the only man to enter her heart since she was 8 years old; there was no better man than he for her. She'd grown to understand him in addition to loving him, and their relationship had been strengthened by it.

She paused.

How much had he grown to understand her though? That traitorous part of her mind wondered how much he could have learned about her in the brief moments they'd spent together since the fourth ninja war. And honestly, though she felt she understood him better now, how much could she really have learned about him under those same circumstances?

She thought about the time they'd had together. A light blush graced her cheeks at a few of those memories, and she couldn't help the soft smile that came to her lips. But the smile faded as she found it hard to remember many conversations they'd had or dates they'd gone on or even moments alone together that weren't either silent or sexual. She tried to conjure up the last time they'd had a serious discussion, just the two of them, but she couldn't. He communicated mostly without words, and she'd thought she'd been fine with that. After all, he was Sasuke, her dream-handsome, elusive, a ninja almost without peer. And he was hers.

Sure, he wasn't perfect, their relationship wasn't perfect, but what better could she ask for? She trusted him implicitly; she knew that he wasn't cheating on her out there. She knew that he kept leaving because he simply didn't know how to deal with loving and being loved in a normal family context. She wanted to teach him, to show him that it was okay to stay with the people you loved and who loved you in return ... but she needed him to be there for her to accomplish that.

She resolved to talk to him when he next returned. She considered what she would say to convince him to stay, not just for her but for all their sakes. Perhaps Ino would be able to help … she had married Sai after all, one of the most emotionally constipated people she'd ever met. If anyone knew how to deal with men like that-

No. Ino didn't need to know her struggles; she had enough of her own. This was something Sakura would handle by herself.

She began planning her "stay with us, Sasuke" speech, and with the calm that naturally came with resolve, before long, she'd fallen finally asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days after Sakura made her resolution, it was a sunny Saturday morning with the perfect light breeze to keep it from being too hot. She wandered through the market, weaving around stalls and selecting various fruits, vegetables, and meats to use in the following week's meals. She loved the bustle and the way voices carried through the street, hawkers promoting their goods, customers haggling for better prices, friends and family catching up … this was her Konoha: warm, lively, happy.

She stopped at her favorite fruit stall. As she said hello to the proprietor and reached for a peach to add to her bag, someone bumped into her from behind, and it was only by virtue of being a ninja that she managed not to knock a bunch of fruits off the table. She started to turn around to yell at the person when a very familiar arm reached from behind her to snatch up the peach she'd dropped when trying to stabilize herself.

Gritting her teeth and letting out a slow breath, she looked up over her shoulder and gave the offending individual a withering look. "Ka. Ka. Shi …"

"Ah, Sakura-chan, how nice to see you! It's a lovely day, don't you think?" The frustrating former Hokage smiled his signature crinkly-eyed smile and raised the hand not holding the peach in greeting.

Sakura promptly elbowed him in the gut, causing him to grunt and drop the peach. She snatched it out of the air and tucked it into her bag. "Yes, it is," she replied.

Ignoring him, she added another three peaches to the bag and paid the stall owner. She moved on to the next stall, aware that the tall, silver-haired man followed behind.

"Sakura-chan, it's not very nice to ignore people," he said. She wondered how he could sound equal parts hurt and amused. She knew that if she looked at him right then, he'd be wearing a kicked-puppy look. She also knew that if she removed his mask right then, the kicked-puppy look would be utterly ruined by the smirk curling up from the left side of his mouth. Obnoxious man.

"It's not very nice to bump into people either, Kakashi," she groused, unable to keep the slightest of smiles out of her voice.

"It wasn't my fault! This little old lady came barreling out of nowhere, shouting something about a super sale on prunes. If I hadn't moved out of the way, I might have died!" He paused briefly before muttering, as if to himself, "Can't get in the way of old people and their prunes. Dangerous business."

Sakura slid her gaze toward him and tapped a finger against her lips contemplatively. "Very true, very true, Kakashi ... Don't let me keep you from the super sale."

Kakashi looked wounded. "Now, now, Sakura-chan. I'm not THAT old. I'm only, what? 34?"

"Kakashi, you were 34 ten years ago," Sakura replied matter-of-factly.

"Lies."

He pouted. She couldn't help but giggle at his furrowed brow and accusatory stare. When he looked like that, like a petulant child, it really was hard to believe the man was 44. It was also hard to stay irritated with him.

Which was irritating in and of itself.

She reined in her smile and sighed dramatically. "So what can I do for you then,  _jiji_?"

Kakashi glared at her for a moment, then smiled that crinkly-eyed smile and said, "Ah, nothing really. I just saw you over there and wondered if you needed help deciding which peach to get."

"I'm more than capable of deciding which fruits to buy, Kakashi," she stated with narrowed eyes.

"Ah, right, right. Well then, I'll be on my way. I'm sure there are plenty of young women around here who would value produce-purchasing advice from the Rokudaime Hokage …" He turned away slowly and began walking in the opposite direction she had been headed.

"Argh. You are so infuriating," she grumbled as she grabbed his collar and yanked him toward her. He pulled out his tattered copy of  _Icha Icha Paradise_  and obligingly allowed himself to be dragged along. She glanced backward when she heard the turn of the page, then announced, "Yup. Can't trust you around young women at all, ero-Hokage."

Kakashi hummed in agreement and turned another page.

Sakura abruptly let go of his shirt. As expected (but disappointingly), Kakashi didn't fall on his ass. He just stood straight as if nothing had happened and followed behind his former student, nose buried in his book. He stopped with her at each stall she visited, occasionally throwing out suggestions ("That looks like a delicious zucchini there, Sakura-chan," or "Can't go wrong with that head of lettuce, Sakura-chan" or "Ah, Sakura-chan, what about that watermelon? It's a great day for watermelon").

By the time she reached her last destination, Sakura was one "Sakura-chan" away from murdering her ex-sensei. It was a testament to the man's many years of experience that he sensed her killing intent and refrained from commenting on anything at the final stall.

After she had paid, she turned to him and said, "Well, I'm on my way. Thank you for your … company." She raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. She couldn't hold back a lopsided grin at that familiar action. "Although I was only protecting my own life-" he began.

Sakura snorted.

He cleared his throat. " _As I was saying_ , although I was only protecting my own life from a bulldozing senior citizen-"

She snorted again. He glared. "I  _suppose_  the least I could do to make up for bumping into you is help you carry those groceries home." He finished his offer with a gentlemanly flourish.

Sakura considered for a moment. How much more time did she want to spend with arguably the most annoying person next to Naruto? Nodding finally, she handed him one of her bags, and they walked in the direction of her house in a comfortable silence.

He broke the quiet. "Where's Sarada-chan?"

"Ah, she's on a mission with her team."

Kakashi grimaced. "I hope Boruto isn't giving her too much trouble … One would have hoped Hinata's influence would have had a greater impact ..."

Sakura laughed. "Well, she's my daughter, so she's quite skilled at putting Boruto in his place."

"And by 'skilled' you mean 'has fists of doom and isn't afraid to use them,'" Kakashi teased, giving her a quick wink without fully turning toward her.

Sakura responded by bopping him on the head.

"Hey now," he pouted, rubbing the sore spot with his free hand. "No need to get violent."

"Oh please, you liked it," Sakura said before sticking her tongue out at him cheekily.

Kakashi made to protest, but she interrupted him with a dismissive wave. "You'd have dodged otherwise. We both know you could have."

He looked toward the ground, letting out a long breath of defeat. "Ah, I suppose that's true."

"Of course it is; I'm always right" she retorted. With that, Sakura sauntered ahead of him up to her door, opening it without setting her bag down. He stood on her porch. "Well, are you coming in or what?" she asked impatiently.

He obediently walked inside and followed her into the kitchen, setting the bag on the counter. "No locks?" He asked, gesturing toward the door.

"No one wants to mess with two sets of 'fists of doom,'" she responded with a shrug.

He considered her statement for about a half-second before nodding in agreement. "Good point."

While she busied herself with putting away the groceries, he looked around the kitchen and living room. He realized how rarely he visited her when it became apparent that very little of the furniture and decor was familiar to him.

Ah, well, some things couldn't be helped, he thought. He'd been busy being Hokage and then busy running diplomatic missions after retiring from being Hokage. It didn't leave much time for visiting former students in their homes.

Which is not to say that he hadn't seen a fair amount of Sakura during the years after the fourth ninja war. They had, after all, worked together quite a bit as leaders of the village once she took over the hospital, and he had found her input into diplomatic relations both insightful and helpful on more than one occasion. In fact, he mused, tilting a photo frame up to look at the pictures, it was rather surprising how well a woman who typically responded with a punch could navigate the political world when she wanted to.

Running a thumb gently over her image, he set the frame back down and returned to the kitchen from the living room where he had wandered. Sakura was putting the last of the groceries in the fridge.

"Would you like to stay for lunch?" She asked, closing the door. She gestured toward the ingredients she'd left on the counter.

"That would be great, yeah," he replied. "Anything I can do to help?"

"You could chop up those scallions over there." She pointed.

He nodded and pulled a knife from the block on the counter.

They worked in relative quiet, and when they finished, they brought their food to the table. Without preamble, he slid down his mask and brought a spoonful of miso soup to his mouth. Sakura, used to seeing his face by now, also began to eat.

"So, what have you been working on lately?" she asked.

"Hm," he swallowed. "Actually, I've got to go to Ame next month and give some kind of speech to bolster relations between our villages."

Sakura grinned. "Oh, I'm sure you're looking forward to that. You just  _love_  giving speeches, right?"

Kakashi scowled. "No need to rub it in my face."

She giggled, then said, "Ah, now I see why you tried to knock me into a peach stand." Her tone was understanding.

"I didn't  _try_ ," he protested, then muttered something under his breath. She made out the words "death" and "constipated old lady."

Laughing at the self-righteous pouty-face that no 44-year-old man should have been able to pull off, Sakura waved away his objections. "You want me to help you write your speech, don't you?"

Kakashi's pout disappeared and his eyes shone with hope, but he didn't say anything.

Sakura sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll help you."

Kakashi smiled, pleased, and scooped up some rice. "Thanks, Sakura-chan. I owe you one."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Kakashi, if I ever decided to collect on all the 'ones' you owe me, you'd be spending the rest of your life as my bitch."

Kakashi chewed thoughtfully. "Hm. There are worse fates, I suppose."

He smoothly dodged the pickle tossed at his head and took another bite. "So violent."

Sakura glared. "Such a baby."

"But Sakura-chan," Kakashi asked slyly, "How can I be both an old man and a baby?"

"I hate you," she deadpanned.

Kakashi laughed, and Sakura smiled in spite of herself. "Alright, when do we start?"

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

They were in the library, where they'd met a few times over the last week to plan for his trip to the rainy village. Kakashi hovered over her shoulder, eyes skimming the page she was reading. The subject was Ame etiquette.

"Sakura-chan, I know all this already," he stated, reaching out and closing the book, then snatching it from her hand when she tried to open it back up. "It's not like I wasn't Hokage for several years." He tossed the book onto the stack at the end of the table and flopped down unceremoniously into the chair opposite her, cocking his head to the side to look at her.

Sakura leaned back in her chair and rolled her eyes at him as if to say that that did  _not_  mean he'd learned how to behave properly. She tapped her pencil against the table and raised a skeptical eyebrow in his direction.

He lifted a hand and shrugged. "Not to mention the time I had to go there undercover to assassinate a high-ranking official. I got very familiar with the way the upper class interacted." He looked toward the window lazily. "I'm not concerned about that part of the visit."

Sakura tried to imagine Kakashi in a tuxedo, schmoozing with big wigs, dancing with beautiful women, and drinking champagne. Even with her keen imagination, observing his slouched posture and wild hair, she found it very difficult.

"OK," she sighed. "Then we need to get back to your speech. We've hardly made any progress."

He ignored her. "Let's go spar, Sakura-chan."

She looked at him incredulously. He was like an academy kid stuck in detention on a sunny day ...

"What?" he asked. "It's been ages since I've had a good spar, and I imagine it's been awhile for you too …"

Her eyebrows furrowed. She didn't need a reminder of the things she'd given up to raise her child.

The corner of his covered mouth lifted in a challenging smirk. "Afraid of losing to an old man?" he taunted.

She glared at him. "Fine. You're on, jiji."

Before he could reply, she'd disappeared, the papers on the table fluttering to the ground in her wake.

Kakashi's smirk widened into a full-on mischievous grin as he too poofed out of the room.

 

He found her hiding in the trees on training ground 3. Though he'd immediately disguised himself amid the foliage on the other side of the clearing, he knew she had become aware of him the instant he arrived; even if she hadn't been in the field in ten years, she was a very good ninja.

Crouching against a tree trunk, he had the warning of only the slightest of breezes coming from behind him before a gloved fist slammed into the bark where his head had just been.

"Not very nice, Sakura-chan," he accused as he flipped onto the branch of another tree while tossing a handful of kunai in her direction.

She parried with her own kunai then disappeared only to reappear below him, ready to punch the branch out from underneath his feet. A split second before her knuckles were going to make contact, he jumped away, and she had to use kawarimi no jutsu to avoid the blast from the exploding tags he'd left behind.

"Now who's being mean, Kakashi?" she called out with the clone she'd created under the cover of the smoke from the tags.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Sakura-chan," his deep voice spoke softly into her ear, one hand pinning her arm to her back and pulling her tightly against his chest, the other holding a kunai to her throat.

Her clone shivered involuntarily before vanishing with a pop as a boot-covered foot shot toward his head from behind. He dodged easily, turning to face her and grabbing her ankle, pushing it downward. She threw both hands to the ground and, twisting her torso, swiped up at him with her other foot. He released her ankle and flipped backward a few steps. They stared at each other for a moment, each slightly out of breath. Kakashi couldn't hide his smile … he was truly entertained.

Likewise enjoying herself, she flashed a quick grin at him before they met in a clash of metal. When it became apparent that he was beginning to take control of the fight, she hopped back and slammed her fist into the ground, sending a large crack toward him and chunks of earth into the air. He seemed to fall into the newly-created crevice, and she was fooled for a brief moment before she sensed him below her. Waiting until he emerged, fingers pointed in preparation for the Thousand Years of Death, she turned and grabbed his outstretched arms, yanking him out of the ground and throwing him across the clearing.

He landed on his feet, one hand in the dirt, sliding backward and stirring up a cloud of dust. When his motion stopped, he looked up at her and shook his head, "That strength of yours surprises me every time."

She just smirked and started forming hand signs.

"Ah, no, you don't," he said, using his famous speed to appear in front of her as if out of nowhere, one hand covering hers and the other signing a one-handed jutsu. She jerked her arms out of his grip before he could finish and quickly created three kage bunshin. She and her bunshin began running around him, circling him faster and faster until they looked like a single pink and red blur.

Her movement was abruptly stopped when Kakashi reached out to grab one of her bunshin by the shoulder. He used its body like an anchor as he kicked out with one leg at the closest bunshin and threw a kunai at the other. They popped out of existence. Sakura charged at him as her remaining bunshin gripped the hand on its shoulder, bent at the waist and threw him over its back onto the ground with a thud. She leaped over her bunshin to land with one knee on his chest, the other pinning his left arm to the grass. Her left arm pushed his right arm into the ground as she held a kunai under his masked chin.

They were both panting heavily at this point, but Sakura was beginning to smile victoriously when it seemed that Kakashi had given up.

She should have known better. She had barely a moment to react before he raised his hips sharply to throw her off balance. She steadied herself with both hands above his head, but the damage was done; he grabbed her by the elbow and tucked it into his chest as he rolled her over, settling heavily on top her, his kunai below her chin.

"Well, we could go on flipping each other over until we completely run out of energy, or we can call it a draw," he said, not letting up his grip for an instant.

Sakura appeared to consider for a moment, then looked into his eyes with one of the most devious expressions he'd ever seen on her face. He learned why a second later when he felt a hand in his hair lift up his head as cool metal pressed against his throat. She'd never released the other bunshin.

"Hmm," the real Sakura murmured from beneath him, holding back a smile. "I think I'll just take the win."

He seemed disconcertingly unconcerned. She frowned.

"Ah ah … not so fast, Sakura-chan," he said in his teacher's voice. He gave her a wicked grin as a pair of strong hands twisted her bunshin's arms behind its back and jerked it up against a broad chest, causing it to release him.

Tilting his now-freed head down so that the tips of his unruly hair tickled her forehead, he smiled widely at her as she groaned and turned her gaze upward, releasing her bunshin. He'd had his own bunshin lying in wait. Of course.

"I win, Sakura-chan," he declared, releasing his bunshin and brushing his fingers almost imperceptibly across her cheek as he dropped his kunai next to her head. She seemed not to notice. He flopped down beside her.

"I  _guess_  you're still in pretty good shape for an old man," she allowed, turning slightly to the side to offer him a teasing half-smile.

"Ah," he agreed contentedly, looking away from her to the clouds floating white against blue. They lay in silence for a few minutes, regaining their breath.

"Do you miss it?" she asked quietly.

He knew what she meant. "Yeah, I do." He didn't say anything for a moment. "There's something about being on a mission … the camaraderie, the uncertainty. The danger."

"Yeah," she said.

"What about you?" He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Her gaze was on the sky.

A minute or so passed before she replied. Finally, sighing softly, she admitted that she did. She lifted an arm to rest the back of her hand on her forehead. "I mean, I love the work I do at the hospital. I love knowing that I'm responsible for saving so many lives. I love being able to train future generations of medics ..." her voice trailed off.

"But?" he pressed.

"I don't know." She paused, trying to figure out how to explain what she was feeling. "I'm not sure that you can ever be completely satisfied without it once you've experienced life in the field."

He looked back up at the clouds and let out a deep breath. He didn't notice that her eyes traced over his profile as she waited for him to respond.

"Yeah," he said finally, but she could tell that wasn't all he wanted to say.

"What?" she asked. He had to have known by her voice that she was facing him now, but he didn't take his eyes from the sky.

"You know, you're not a retired Hokage in his 40s. You could still go on real missions."

"Kakashi … you know that I can't." Her words were barely audible, but all of his senses were abnormally keen. He heard what she said.

With what might have been a growl, he stood, reaching out a hand to help her up. As he pulled her to her feet, he ran his thumb over her wrist before looking her directly in the eye. "You can, Sakura. He's not being fair to you ... And you know it."

With that, he released her hand and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Sakura didn't see Kakashi for a few days after that. She could have said it was because the hospital got really busy, but that would have been only partly true.

The other part was that she was avoiding him.

His words after their spar had cut her a little too deeply; they were too close to what her traitorous inner self had been thinking for awhile now. She knew seeing him again so soon would make it all the more difficult for her to shut that inner self up, so she stayed away from his favorite haunts and went directly to and from work with no detours. She just needed time to remind herself why the life she had chosen was her best option ...

 

Of course, she couldn't avoid him forever.

It was early evening three days after their spar when she received a knock at her door. She set down her knife, wiped her hands on her apron, and went to open it. On the other side stood a crinkly-eyed Kakashi and a sulking Sarada.

"I believe this is yours?" Kakashi asked, gently nudging Sarada toward the door. Sarada just planted her feet, huffed and jerked her head away from him.

Kakashi's eyes got crinklier, then opened, his entire (visible) face becoming deadly serious as he turned his attention to Sakura.

When he didn't say anything, Sakura prompted him with a raised eyebrow and an impatient "Yes?"

He frowned, taking another minute to build up suspense. She rolled her eyes. Finally, he spoke gravely. "So there I was, minding my own business, napping harmlessly in a tree …"

"Lazy ass …" Sakura coughed under her breath. Sarada's sulking face broke ever so slightly into a smile, but she quickly schooled it back into place.

For his part, Kakashi pretended not to hear and continued with his story. "... napping harmlessly in a tree when I was grievously assaulted by none other than Uchiha Sarada-chan and her teammates." He paused for dramatic effect, then leaned forward, lowered his voice, and revealed the worst part: "It seems they were intent upon seeing what's under my mask."

A frustrated groan came from the direction of the short, dark-haired girl. "But it's just another mask, Mom!" Sarada interjected loudly, no small amount of outrage in her voice.

Looking at her daughter's indignant face and clenched fists, Sakura nearly burst out laughing, remembering the day when she, Naruto and Sasuke were dismayed to find the same thing. Just managing to smother her laughter, she glanced up at Kakashi and noticed that he himself was struggling to keep his face straight. His eyes, dancing with mirth, met hers briefly before he returned his attention to his attacker, who had been grumbling the entire time the adults were trying to contain themselves.

"It was baka-Boruto's idea anyway," Sarada finished with a defiant scowl.

Finally confident that she wouldn't start snickering the minute she spoke, Sakura looked sternly at her daughter. "It doesn't matter whose idea it was, Sarada, you shouldn't be attacking old men ..." She felt Kakashi glaring at her. "... napping in trees. Especially when they're retired Hokages."

"Yes, Mom," Sarada mumbled.

"Now get cleaned up for dinner. It'll be ready soon."

Sarada obediently went inside, but not without shooting Kakashi the stink-eye first. He just smiled his usual smile in return.

"You're impossible," Sakura muttered when her daughter was out of hearing range.

"I know," he replied cheerfully. "It's one of my better qualities."

"With that as one of your better qualities, it's no wonder you're so annoying to be around," Sakura retorted as she held the door open wider. "Are you staying for dinner?"

Kakashi hummed his assent and moved past her into the living room. She followed, feeling something between irritation and affection. Trust that man to say something so troubling and then show up out of the blue, acting as if nothing had happened …

 

A couple of hours later, dinner was finished, the dishes were cleared, and Sarada had fallen asleep on the couch. Pulling a bottle from the fridge, Sakura offered Kakashi some sake. He accepted and lowered his mask, and they poured each other a glass. The quiet in the kitchen was a peaceful one as they sat across from each other at the table, sipping their drinks.

"She seems so innocent like that," Kakashi said, looking at Sarada's sleeping face.

"She does," Sakura agreed. "It's hard to believe she's already a genin, going on missions and cooking up plots to see your face."

Kakashi nodded, the hint of a shameless smirk playing on his lips. He took another sip.

She giggled at the memory of her daughter's outraged face. "I suppose at least now I can kind of understand why you hid it all those years …"

"Cheapest entertainment available," he explained with shrug and a crooked smile.

Sakura shook her head at him admonishingly. "Sadist," she whispered.

"I heard that, Sakura-chan."

"You were s'posed to, Kaka- _sensei_." She stuck her tongue out at him. He just raised a silver eyebrow as they lapsed again into a comfortable silence.

With the rest of the house blanketed in darkness and the sake warming her belly, everything was starting to seem a little fuzzy in the golden light of the kitchen. Sakura found herself watching Kakashi's calloused fingers loosely holding the sake cup, occasionally tracing the rim. She wondered at the fact that those fingers, which seemed so harmless wrapped around a porcelain cup, were actually among the deadliest weapons in the world. Just then, she found it too hard to believe.

Noticing her gaze, Kakashi took his hand from the glass and rested his chin on it. Sakura's eyes followed his movement until she realized that she was staring at his stubbled jawline. Her eyes met his, and for once there was no hint of teasing in their charcoal depths. Startled by the soft way he was regarding her, she quickly looked away, but then, remembering that this was just Kakashi, she lifted her own elbow to the table and leaned her cheek against her palm, tilting her face towards his.

"I wonder what it's like to fall asleep and wake up with the one you love every day," she mused, her focus drifting from his eyes to his spiky hair as she spoke.

Kakashi gave her profile an indecipherable look before turning away. "I wouldn't know," he said simply. His voice held no emotion.

Sakura didn't say anything for a few minutes. Eventually, curiosity got the better of her."Why haven't you ever been with anyone, Kakashi?" she asked.

Though her question hadn't been posed lightly, the serious atmosphere seemed to dissolve the instant his name left her lips. He returned his gaze to her, a teasing light back in his eyes. "You know ... I'm not a virgin, Sakura-chan," he said deliberately, his mouth curling into a roguish half-smile.

"I- wh-" Sakura stuttered, a blush coloring her cheeks. Then she realized he was making fun of her, and her eyes flashed with anger. "You know that's not what I meant!" She jerked her arm off the table and turned her side to him with a huff.

At that, he began chuckling in earnest, the deep, honest chuckle she always found contagious. "You looked exactly like Sarada-chan just then," he laughed quietly, amusement written all over his face.

She swiveled back to him, trying to look indignant, but that infectious chuckle of his brought out a smile against her will. Squashing it as well as she could, she rolled her eyes at him and took a drink from her cup. "You're impossible."

"Ah," he agreed, still smiling, and lifted the sake bottle to refill her glass. She dutifully held out her cup and then refilled his.

The peaceful quiet returned once more. While Sakura watched her daughter sleep, her mind pleasantly relaxed, Kakashi watched Sakura.

After awhile, his voice broke the silence. "There always seemed to be something more important," he said, leaning back in his chair and staring blankly into his cup, tilting it toward his face.

Sakura turned to look at him. "Hm?" she asked before remembering her earlier question. "Oh-"

But before she could reply, he continued, "There was always a long-term mission, or a war, or a vacant village leader spot needing to be filled. A relationship just didn't seem as important in the face of all that."

Sakura began to protest, telling him that a relationship was always important, that there was always a way to make it work, even if you couldn't be together all the time, but something in his eyes stopped her.

"I don't want half a relationship, Sakura," he said with finality.

She could only stare at him, eyes wide, while his words seemed to echo in her stomach. He'd looked at her in a way he never had before when he spoke, a way she didn't understand, and his voice was somehow different than she'd ever heard it - lower, deeper, utterly serious. It held no vestige of his familiar light-hearted tone.

Suddenly, sharply, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Was this how his enemies felt when they faced him on the battlefield?

Abruptly breaking eye contact, Kakashi tipped his head back to empty his sake cup. He set it gently on the table and stood up. "It's late. I should head home."

Sakura nodded mutely as he walked toward the door. Reaching for the door knob, he turned to catch her eye once more. He looked like a stranger. "Thanks for dinner … it was delicious." His voice was still richly dark, and it made her feel uncomfortably warm.

When the door clicked shut behind him, Sakura let out a long breath. She had no idea what had just happened. Her hand shook as she poured herself one last glass of sake, and it shook when she raised the glass to her lips. Had that really been Kakashi?

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the slouching man sitting across from her, rereading the sole paragraph of his speech that he'd managed to write in over a week. He ran his fingers through his hair and held the paper up higher so he could lean back even more.

Thus far, there had been no hints of the strange Kakashi that had appeared the night before. There was no extra-deep voice that left words ringing in her abdomen, no intense, inscrutable looks sent her way. In fact, he was so … himself that she wasn't sure she hadn't imagined the whole thing, courtesy of one too many glasses of sake. Her eyes narrowed further, searching for anything out of place.

"Sakura-chan, I don't think you're going to be of any help if all you're doing is admiring my hair," Kakashi said without looking up from behind the paper.

Though his voice surprised her, she managed not to show it. "Kakashi, I don't think trying to understand how something like … that …" She gestured toward his silvery mop. "Can sprout naturally out of anyone's head can be considered 'admiring.'"

"Don't be ashamed, Sakura-chan," he demurred. "It really is an incredibly attractive, naturally-occurring follicular phenomenon. There's nothing wrong with appreciating it …" He peeked over the top of the paper. "... as long as you help me write this damn speech."

"You …"

"'Are impossible,' I know," he finished with a wave of his hand. "Now get over here and tell me what to do to make this make more sense."

 

The sun had almost fully set when Kakashi put down his pen and stretched noisily. "Well, I need to get going." He cracked his neck. "I have a date."

Sakura's head shot up in surprise.

He looked at her for a moment before adding, "... with Genma."

"Oh." She rolled her eyes and began straightening up the papers on the table.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You know, you could join us."

Sakura paused to meet his gaze. "Well, I wouldn't want to come between two lovers," she said with mock seriousness.

Kakashi just shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, don't knock it till you try it."

"Kakashi!" Sakura exclaimed, scandalized. His tone may have been light, but there was something decidedly wicked in that grin he was wearing. She felt her cheeks burning.

Taking pity on her, he softened his expression. "Really, though, there's going to be a group of us. You should come along. When was the last time you went out anywhere?"

"Well, Sarada -"

He cut her off. "Left on a mission this morning. Don't tell me you're not allowed to have  _any_  fun at  _all_ , Sakura-chan. Even Hinata's going to be there."

Sakura sighed. He was right … it wasn't like she wasn't allowed to enjoy herself. Sarada was older now and taking missions away from home. She could afford to spend a night out with friends. "OK," she agreed finally. "Let me run home and change. I'll meet you at the pub."

"If you're not there in an hour, I'm coming to drag you out of your house whether you like it or not," he warned.

"Yes, yes, Hokage-sama," she intoned.

"Former Hokage," he corrected. She gave him a withering look. Satisfied, he nodded and poofed out of the room.

"Baka Kakashi," Sakura muttered as she stuffed her pens in her pouch.

"I heard that."

She glared in the general direction of the disembodied voice and stuck out her tongue. "Baka Kakashi."

 

They'd left a spot for her next to Hinata at the end of one side of the booth. As she sat down and gave her violet-eyed friend a brief hug, Naruto passed her a beer from the bucket in the middle of the table.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! I haven't seen you in forever!" he shouted, his classic toothy Naruto smile on full display.

"You saw me two days ago at the hospital's board meeting, Naruto," she responded in a monotone voice.

The blond Hokage rubbed the back of his neck nervously, his eyes creasing like his old sensei's. "Ah ha ha ha, that's right, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura shook her head despairingly at him and exchanged greetings with the rest of the group, standing up and leaning across the table to hug Ino lightly and saying hello to Sai, Genma, Gai, and Kurenai. She nodded her head at Kakashi, who sat across from her, next to Ino. He acknowledged her with a small eye crinkle and the tilting of a raised beer bottle in her direction.

Pleasantries complete, conversation quickly picked back up; Hinata and Sakura discussed Boruto's not-so-secret crush on Sarada while Ino tried to explain to her husband the subtleties of hugs between women and Kurenai sighed as something Naruto said sent Gai into one of his starry-eyed, "beauty of youth" exhortations.

Thankfully, the green-spandexed jounin's speech was cut short by Genma, who clapped a hand over his mouth and turned toward Kakashi. "So, Copy-nin, which is it ..." he asked slyly, senbon clinking between his teeth as he moved it from one side of his mouth to the other. "Hard and fast or soft and slow?"

"Huh?" Kakashi stared at his friend, confused.

The rest of the table also looked at Genma as if he'd suddenly grown a third head.

Genma sighed like he was trying to explain something simple to a small child who just wasn't getting it. "The question on your beer, man: 'hard and fast or soft and slow?'" He pulled the senbon out of his mouth and pointed it at the label on Kakashi's bottle.

Still wearing an expression that suggested that he wasn't quite sure who'd let Genma out of the mental hospital that night or why, Kakashi picked up his bottle by its neck and turned it around. The table watched as his eyebrow rose.

"See?" Genma said triumphantly. "So which is it? Does our famous former Hokage like his sex a little rough, or does he prefer making sweet, sweet love all night?"

Before anyone else could say anything, Sakura, cheeks more than a little pink, raised her voice in protest. "Now wait just a minute, Genma ... Aren't we a bit old to be playing games like this?"

Genma opened his mouth to respond, but Ino beat him to it. "Oh come on, Forehead!" she admonished with an eye-roll. "You're never too old to play the 'can you make the Hokage blush?' game, right?"

"Former Hokage," Kakashi interjected out of habit. At some point, he'd opened his copy of  _Icha Icha Tactics_  and appeared to be reading, unconcerned with the discussion going on around him.

"'Hokage,' 'former Hokage,' who cares? I'm curious now too," Naruto said, beer splashing out of his bottle onto the table as he thumped it down in his enthusiasm.

Sakura just groaned and mumbled something about annoying ninja who never grow up while the rest of the group, including Gai, whose mouth was still covered by Genma's hand, and a lightly-blushing Hinata, turned their eyes expectantly toward Kakashi.

When it became apparent that they weren't going to give up, the silver-haired man closed his book with a put-upon sigh.

"How do I like it?" he mused, looking at the ceiling.

Kakashi's companions leaned in eagerly; no one had thought he would actually answer the question. Even Sakura, who had professed herself averse to such immature games, couldn't help but regard him a little more intently than usual.

"Hmm ..." he tapped his chin in thought. "I suppose I like it hard and fast ..."

"I knew it!" Genma declared. Naruto nodded vigorously in agreement, bumping his fist against Genma's in victory.

Kakashi's voice interrupted their celebration.

" ... And then ... later ..." he continued slowly, his tone darker as he lowered his head to catch Sakura's gaze. " … I like it nice and slow."

With that, Kakashi reopened his book and began reading as if he'd never said anything at all.

While everyone else just stared at him in open-mouthed shock, it seemed to Sakura that her heart had stopped beating. Although their eyes had met for only half a second, not nearly enough time for anyone else to notice, the strange heat in his look had knocked the breath out of her and set her cheeks aflame. It was as though she'd suddenly developed tunnel-vision; she found herself unable to turn away from him, even though all she could see of his face now was the hitai-ate-covered top of his forehead. Everything that wasn't Kakashi faded into the background.

Naruto was the first to recover. "Hey, that's cheating, Kaka-sensei!" he cried, pointing an accusatory finger at the man whose nose was buried in a book. "You have to choose either/or. You can't just say both!"

The table was silent for a moment, until, without moving out from behind his book, Kakashi asked simply, "Why not? It's the truth."

"Well, I- I mean ..." Naruto sputtered.

Genma just patted him on the head. "Nevermind, Hokage-sama. Be happy he said anything in the first place."

Naruto slumped down in the booth with a dissatisfied pout and took up his beer. Ino and Kurenai began chatting quietly, and Gai, finally freed from Genma's grip, went in search of the restroom. Sai observed impassively, taking periodic sips from the bottle in front of him.

Meanwhile, Sakura had managed to tear her eyes away from Kakashi, but she still couldn't catch her breath. Aware on some less-than-conscious level that everyone was distracted, she took the opportunity to throw down some cash and make her way to the exit. She kept her pace normal to start, but she was practically running by the time she got to the door, and she was sure nothing had ever felt so good as that first breath of air she took when she made it outside.

Letting the door swing shut behind her and stumbling a few feet to the right before slumping against the wall, Sakura stared blankly at the streetlight across the road and tried to calm her racing heart. He'd done it again, just like the night before - he'd shaken her to her core with a few simple words and a look. Her hand rose to her throat, fingers clutching absently at the collar of her shirt. She'd thought it had been some kind of fluke last night, if not an outright drunken hallucination, but clearly it hadn't. She was beginning to wonder if she'd ever really known the man at all.

Just then, her pulse not yet calmed, the pub door opened, and the newfound source of all the troubles in her world stepped out and turned to face her. Her heart leapt into her throat as her eyes were once again captured by his lanky frame. She knew she must have looked ridiculous, standing there motionless, eyes widened like some kind of rabbit frozen in place by the sudden appearance of a fox, but still she couldn't seem to move.

His warm gaze met hers. His face was so familiar, and the look he gave her wasn't darkened like it had been when he'd said … what he'd said … at the table, but she felt like she was seeing him for the first time. The corner of his mouth lifted into a small smile beneath his mask as he tucked his hands into his pockets. "Have a good night, Sakura-chan," he said softly, letting his eyes travel from hers to her mouth and back again, brow furrowing ever-so-slightly, before he turned around and began walking away from her in the direction of his apartment.

Unable to say anything in response, Sakura just watched him until he'd moved too far out of range of the streetlight for her to make out his form in the darkness. When she couldn't hear his footsteps any longer, the fist clenching her shirt finally loosened, and her hand dropped weakly to her side.

"Oh, there you are, Sakura-chan!" Naruto's voice broke into the muddled haze that was her thoughts as he and the rest of the group piled out of the door. "I thought you'd left!"

She somehow found her voice. "N-no, Naruto, I just needed a little air," she said with a fake smile.

"Oh, okay, well, we're going to go back to Genma's for a drink. Wanna come?" he asked, completely oblivious to the fact that his pink-haired friend felt like she'd just been hit by a bus.

Sakura shook her head. "No, that's okay, Naruto. I'm pretty tired. I think I'm just going to go home."

"Aw, alright, Sakura-chan," Naruto pouted, pulling her into a bear hug. "Get some sleep!"

"Th-thanks, Naruto," Sakura croaked, extricating herself from his grip. Once freed, she worked up a smile for everyone else as she bade them good night.

"Night, Sakura!" they chorused, waving as they headed off to Genma's.

"Night," she echoed quietly.

 

It would take another ten minutes of standing in the yellow glow of the streetlight, the back of her head resting against the rough brick of the building, before she felt stable enough to make her way home.

When she got there, she went through the motions of preparing for bed, then flipped off the lights and fell back onto her mattress with a sigh. She felt like she'd been put through the wringer the last two nights. What was that man thinking? Had he always been like this and she'd just never noticed?

She found that hard to believe. She'd known Kakashi for almost 20 years now.

But what would have made him change? It's not like he was at that "discovering yourself" age … At 44 years old, a prodigy with over 35 years of experience  _and_  a retired Hokage, he should hypothetically have himself fairly well figured out ...

She rolled onto her stomach and smashed her face into her comforter.

Midlife crisis? That could make sense. He'd been going through a lot of professional changes over the last few years, and, as they'd talked about the night before, he'd never really been involved with anyone.

" _I don't want half a relationship, Sakura,"_  he'd said.

She felt her cheeks burn at the memory of the way he'd looked at her as he'd spoken.

" _And then … later … I like it nice and slow …"_

She buried her face further in her blanket. What was she even thinking about? This was Kakashi. Perpetually late, porn-reading, obnoxious Kakashi, who'd been doing everything in his power to make her hair turn as grey as his practically since the day they met. It didn't matter if recently his voice had a bad habit of making something dark and unfamiliar coil inside her stomach.

 _Dark and unfamiliar and not entirely unpleasant,_  her stupid inner self added. She pulled the comforter up around her ears in a feeble attempt to block out thoughts like that.

She was probably just reading into things anyway, and, regardless, she had Sasuke. Her  _husband_.

 _Who wasn't there_.

Sakura groaned and turned her head to the side, studying the shadowy wall as if it held all the answers. When was he going to come back? She was sure that if he were home, she wouldn't be hearing strange things in Kakashi's voice all of a sudden.

Really, it was likely neither that Kakashi had changed nor that he had always been this way and she was just now seeing it. It was most likely that she was entirely imagining that heat in his words and eyes. She supposed it was only to be expected … she'd seen Sasuke so infrequently over the years that spending any significant amount of time with one man was bound to have her feeling a little funny. Especially if that man were an attractive one.

Not that she thought Kakashi was attractive or anything like that.

Probably.

Her brow creased as she flipped back over and slid under the blanket, determined to stop thinking about lazy charcoal-colored eyes and annoyingly deep voices talking about hard and fast and soft and slow.

 

A minute later, she was kicking her comforter off and standing up to open the window. It was way too warm in her room.

She swept the curtain aside with her right arm and lifted the sash with her left. The night air was only slightly cooler than the air inside, but she felt a million degrees better as the gentle breeze wafted over her. She leaned her forehead against the glass and watched the moths flutter around her neighbor's porch light.

Kakashi, huh? She sighed, letting the curtain fall back into place and lying down again. He really was impossible.

And what was up with the way he told her to have a good night? Had she really imagined that he'd looked at her mouth as he'd said it? Everything else about the exchange was normal.

Though maybe his tone was a little softer, less teasing, than usual ...

She pinched the bridge of her nose. Dear god, what was wrong with her? She was acting like a teenager, analyzing every little detail of a handful of interactions with a guy. No ... with  _Kakashi_. Of all the ridiculous things. She'd never even gone through a teacher crush phase like Ino had with Asuma-sensei when they were kids; why would she now at 30 years old?

Ridiculous. Not to mention  _she was **married**_.

There seriously had to be something wrong with her. There was no way she was interested in Kakashi, and there was  _definitely_  no way Kakashi was interested in her. This was all just a product of her missing Sasuke and spending too much time with her former sensei. That was it.

 

… Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: So I don't know if they still do this or not, but at least a few years ago, Molson-Canadian printed "would you rather?" questions on their bottles. This chapter was partly inspired by that.


	6. Chapter 6

Between lack of sleep and surviving the minor heart attack of mistaking a broom standing upright against the side of a building for Kakashi while on her way into work, it was no surprise that everyone asked Sakura if she was feeling alright when she arrived at the hospital the next morning. She waved off their concerns and began her rounds, grateful to have something to do that would distract her from her own mind.

 

She was feeling much better by the end of the day as she hung up her white coat in her office. Sarada would be back that evening, so she was hoping that a nice dinner and listening to her daughter talk about her mission would have her completely back to normal again. As she made her way home and began planning what to cook and wondering what adventures Sarada might have had, her confusing thoughts about Kakashi finally faded into the background.

 

"And then what happened?" Sarada called out from the kitchen, where she was getting herself a glass of water.

Kakashi paused, catching Sakura's widened gaze as she stepped through the front door. "... And then your mother walked in and looked at me like she'd just found a mouse in her house," he said wryly.

Having heard the door open, Sarada walked into the opening of the living room, where Kakashi sat comfortably on one of the couches.

Sakura took a breath and forced her pulse to slow down. Drawing on some of her ninja acting skills, she rolled her eyes and dropped her gloves and pouch onto the entry table. "Kakashi, the only thing you have in common with a mouse is your unique talent for mooching meals off of people."

"Now, now, Sakura-chan, that's not very fair," he pouted. ".. I'm pretty sneaky too."

"You'd have to be to get away with skipping out on all those tabs," she retorted with a pointed look in his direction. He put on an innocent face.

As Sakura moved into the kitchen, she turned her head toward her daughter. "Sarada, don't let this old man talk you into going out to eat with him."

Sarada swiveled quickly. "But Mom, he offered to take our team to lunch tomorrow …"

"I ran into them in the Hokage Tower. They'd just gotten back from their mission," Kakashi interjected by way of explanation.

The dark-haired genin caught her mother's arm and pulled her down to whisper into her ear, "We were going to use it as an opportunity to see his face!"

Kakashi pretended not to be paying attention, but Sakura could see his ear prick up from behind her daughter's head. Staring him in the eye as she spoke, she told her daughter softly, knowing he would hear, "Don't bother. He'll just dodge all your attempts, contrive some distraction, and then inhale his food and disappear before you turn back around, and you'll be stuck with the bill."

Sarada tilted her head and gave Kakashi a studied look, tapping her finger against her mouth. "Well, this  _is_  the second time you've been over here for dinner this week," she said finally.

Sakura nodded in agreement. Kakashi appeared hurt. "I just wanted to spend some time with my favorite former student and her daughter," he groused exaggeratedly.

Sarada let go of her mother's arm and raised an eyebrow. "But I thought Dad was your favorite student?"

Sakura took the opportunity to walk into the kitchen and get dinner started, leaving Kakashi and her daughter in the living room. Watching her pink hair swing across her back as she rounded the corner, Kakashi replied thoughtfully, "Hmm … I think it's more that I saw myself in him."

Sarada's face conveyed her incredulity. "You don't seem ANYTHING like my dad," she said dubiously.

Kakashi furrowed his brow, his voice a little more sober, his eyes focused on the air in front of him. "Well, I was a lot like your dad when I was younger."

Sarada was quiet for a moment before asking bluntly, "Does that mean my dad will be as goofy as you someday?"

Kakashi could hear Sakura's stifled giggles from the kitchen. He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled, embarrassed. "Ah, I suppose anything's possible, Sarada-chan."

At that, the three of them, each picturing a Kakashi-like Sasuke, dissolved into laughter.

 

"So what were you two talking about when I got home?" Sakura asked, picking up a piece of chicken with her chopsticks.

"Oh, Kakashi-sama was just telling me about the time he taught you guys to walk up trees," Sarada answered. "He said you were the best."

"Well, it's true," Kakashi added. "I only had to show her once. It took Naruto and your dad the whole day, and even then they probably wouldn't have gotten it if your mom hadn't given them a hint ... Ah, the beauty of perfect chakra control ..."

Sakura could feel him looking at her as he spoke. She blushed lightly, unable to meet his eyes.

Thankfully, Kakashi shifted his gaze to her daughter. "Sarada-chan, I've heard you inherited that from your mother," he said, crinkling his eyes.

Sarada frowned. "Yeah, I'm pretty good at using my chakra."

"So why are you frowning?" he asked, confused.

"Because Naruto-oji-sama taught baka-Boruto another jutsu, and he used it on our mission!" Sarada exclaimed, her petite fist unconsciously gripping her cup tighter. Kakashi discreetly lifted it from her hand, well aware of the damage a female of her lineage could do to glassware in a fit of temper. Not noticing, Sarada continued her tirade. "I don't want to lose to him! What good is stupid chakra control if I can't do anything with it? Mom, can't you teach me something new? I want to be able to beat them on our next mission!"

Sakura stopped chewing, her heart clenching. She knew exactly how her daughter felt. "When's your next mission?"

"Two days," Sarada replied, eyes hopeful.

Sakura's heart clenched even further. She had doubles at the hospital the next two days. "Sarada, I-"

"I could teach you something, if you want," Kakashi interrupted, recognizing why Sakura was hesitating. "I do happen to know a few jutsu, after all."

Sakura was too relieved by his offer to snort at his deliberate understatement.

"Really, Kakashi-sama? That would be awesome!" Sarada smiled widely.

"Sure," Kakashi crinkled his eyes.

"Shannaro! Baka-Boruto's not the only one who can learn jutsu from a Hokage!" The dark-haired girl stood up in a victory pose.

Sakura buried her face in her palms at the uncanny resemblance her daughter bore to Inner Sakura-of-yore. She could sense Kakashi's amusement from across the table; most of the time Sarada was quiet like her father, but there were definitely times when it was clear just who her mother was, and this was one of them.

"Sarada, please refrain from shouting at the dinner table," Sakura sighed.

Her daughter sat down and calmly picked her chopsticks back up, but she couldn't quite smother her gleeful grin.

"OK, Sarada-chan, how about we meet at training ground 3 at 8 tomorrow morning?" Kakashi proposed.

Sakura gave him a look that said, "You mean at 11, right?" Kakashi ignored her. Sakura shook her head.

"Thank you so much, Kakashi-sama!" Sarada bowed her head lightly.

"No problem, Sarada-chan," Kakashi replied. "I can't let you lose to baka-Boruto-kun."

His eyes lifted to meet Sakura's, the warmth of his small smile showing through their grey depths. Despite the little flip her stomach gave at his look, she couldn't help but reply with a grateful smile of her own. "Thank you," she mouthed. He nodded in reply, eyes creasing.

 

Sarada had gone out to the backyard to practice in preparation for her lesson the next day. Sakura stood at the sink, cleaning dishes as Kakashi brought them in from the table.

She heard him set a stack to her right, and then she was startled by a hand lightly gripping her hip. She stiffened further as the heat of a strong chest met her back and a familiar arm reached around her other side.

The hand on her hip squeezed gently, and she felt his breath on her cheek. "Let me help," his deep voice spoke softly, masked lips brushing lightly against her ear as he dipped his hand into the water, wrapping it around hers briefly before taking the sponge from her grip.

He lifted the sponge from the water and smoothly moved her to the side, taking his other hand from her hip to swipe the dishcloth from the rack below the sink and plop it onto her head. "You dry," he said with a crooked grin that did nothing to help quell the sudden fire burning in her abdomen.

She stared open-mouthed at him, dish towel hanging over one eye. He deepened his grin, then turned toward the sink and began washing a plate. The dish towel started to slip off of her head, and she caught it absently, gaze never leaving his profile, even when he handed her the cleaned plate to dry.

"Sakura-chan, you're letting water drip all over the floor," Kakashi hummed without facing her.

Sakura looked down as if in slow motion and realized that she was, in fact, holding a wet plate that was, in fact, dripping water all over the floor. "Ah, ha," she laughed awkwardly, still in a daze, and began gingerly wiping the plate with the dishcloth before placing it on the counter. He handed her another plate.

They continued in this fashion until all the dishes were washed and dried and Sakura had managed to regain some of her sensibilities. She was about to ask Kakashi what the hell that was all about when Sarada came back inside.

While Sakura questioned why her daughter was opening the fridge to look for a snack, Kakashi squeezed out the sponge and took the damp dishrag from her hands to dry his own before hanging it back on the rack. He picked up his gloves from the counter where he'd laid them earlier.

"Alright, Sarada-chan. I'll see you at 8 then?" he asked with an eye crinkle.

The brunette turned to look at him, smiling. "Yep! Training ground 3 … thank you again, Kakashi-sama!"

"Anytime," Kakashi said. He looked at Sakura and gave her another one of those warm, inscrutable looks that made her insides squirm involuntarily.

"Sleep well, Sakura-chan," he murmured. "Don't work too hard." He flashed a small smile before heading toward the door, raising a hand in goodbye behind him.

 

And so for the third night in a row, Sakura found herself unable to speak, watching Kakashi walk away after turning her insides to mush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: This one goes out to girlgeorge, who requested more Kakashi and Sarada interaction, with a nod to Team Miriku, who reminded me what Kakashi's hair can look like sometimes.


	7. Chapter 7

_10:58 a.m., next day_

 

"You're late!" came the indignant cry of a short, dark-haired girl standing in the middle of training ground 3.

Kakashi grinned under his mask as he hopped down from a nearby tree and confronted the small finger pointed furiously at him. Ah, nostalgia ...

"Sorry, Sarada-chan. I got caught in a flash flood on the way here and had to rescue a box of kittens from certain death by drowning," he explained with a grave look on his face.

Sarada shot him a leveled gaze that told him she was buying none of his bullshit. "Kakashi-sama, it's not even raining," she said, directing her gaze and her palms up to the sky, searching for non-existent raindrops.

"Sarada-chan, as one might surmise by its name, the flash flood was there and gone  _in a flash_ ," Kakashi replied pedantically.

"Kakashi-sama, as anyone who has been awake and waiting outside for the LAST THREE HOURS …" She shot him an angrily raised eyebrow. "could tell you, it hasn't rained at all this morning."

"Oh? Did I say 'flash flood'? I meant 'stream,'" Kakashi amended quickly. "Some cruel, cruel person had tossed a box of kittens into a stream, leaving them to die."

"You're not even wet," Sarada argued.

"Ah, yes, well, walking on water is a terribly useful skill to have, especially when it comes to rescuing kittens," Kakashi smiled, eyes crinkling.

Sarada sighed, closed her eyes, and unclenched her fist to pinch the bridge of her nose, looking for all the world like a black-haired, bespectacled, miniature version of her mother. "Save it," she huffed. "Let's just get started."

Entertained, Kakashi watched her stalk off in a manner more reminiscent of Naruto than Sakura; Boruto-kun must be rubbing off on her without her noticing, he mused.

He had to admit that he'd kind of missed teasing the kids by showing up late to training. And he'd definitely missed coming up with preposterous excuses for his tardiness … it was one of his favorite pastimes, alongside  _Icha Icha_ , napping in trees, and making Sakura blush. He supposed at least he still had the occasional opportunity for inventive excusing with Naruto and Sakura, though by now those two were used to it and barely reacted, which was infinitely less fun than his exchange with Sarada had just been. Maybe there were overlooked benefits to this teaching business ...

He ambled over to where Sarada stood by the posts. "Well," he began, "Given that both of your parents are genjutsu-types, I'm assuming you are as well."

She nodded.

"And you've begun awakening your Sharingan?"

She nodded again.

"Good. That should make it easier for you to learn jutsu."

"You had the Sharingan too, didn't you, Kakashi-sama?" Sarada asked curiously. His basic story was, of course, well-known to her, but hearing anything about it from the mysterious (if goofy) man himself was  _way_  better.

"I did. From the time I was about your age until the end of the fourth ninja war," Kakashi confirmed.

"And that's how you became the Copy-ninja of Konoha, right?"

"Yep."

"That's so cool!" Sarada squealed. "I want to learn 1,000 jutsu with my Sharingan too."

Kakashi laughed. "That's a good goal to have. The easiest way to achieve it is to copy all of your enemies' jutsus while you fight." He leaned in, as though telling a secret. "It really freaks them out if you use their own techniques against them in the same fight. And if you already know the jutsu, you can perform it at the same time they do, and that  _really_  freaks them out, especially if it's a specialty jutsu that not many people know."

"Yeah, I could see that," she nodded.

"The other thing to do is to copy all your friends' techniques while you're sparring. They'll probably get pi- er, mad at you, but ultimately it's for the betterment of the village, so they get over it. And if they don't, well …" He looked up at the sky. "Oh well."

He shrugged and lowered his head to wink at her. She blushed lightly. "Yeah," she said. "They'll just have to deal."

Kakashi patted her on the head. "Good girl. Before we know it, Konoha will have Copy-ninja Sarada instead."

Sarada smiled and raised a fist. "Shannaro!"

Smiling inwardly, Kakashi decided it was time to get down to business. "Alright," he said. "To make use of your natural talents as much as possible, since we've got a short training window, I'm going to teach you a genjutsu. This is one of Kurenai-san's favorites … needless to say, I copied it from her." He grinned. She met his grin with her own. He got the sense that she was going to thoroughly enjoy ripping jutsu off of unsuspecting friends and enemies alike. Girl after his own heart ... 

His grin widened a bit more before he mentally shook his head to regain focus. "So, your task is to copy the hand seals as I form them. I'm not going to go slowly; you need to get used to copying seals at high speeds, or you'll never be able to steal all the jutsus from your enemies."

Sarada gave him a determined nod. "Hai, sensei!"

Kakashi chuckled. "You don't need to call me 'sensei,' Sarada-chan. I was your mom's teacher; I'm just doing you a favor. 'Kakashi-sama' as usual is fine."

She smiled, "Hai, Kakashi-sama."

"OK, I'm starting now. Turn on your Sharingan," he ordered. As soon as he saw Sarada's eyes bleed red, he flew through a series of hand signs. "Magen: Jubaku Satsu!"

He immediately disappeared in a misty haze, and nearly instantaneously, Sarada felt a giant tree growing up behind her and trapping her in its branches. As she struggled against its tangled grip, Kakashi seemed to slide out of the tree trunk above her head, holding a kunai. Sarada quickly channeled chakra to her arms and pulled them free of the branches, clasping her hands together and forming the release jutsu. "Kai!" she called out. The mist dissolved, and the tree vanished, leaving Kakashi in its place.

"Well done, Sarada-chan. I see your mom has taught you some of the more useful aspects of your chakra control," Kakashi observed.

"Yeah, she's teaching me how to channel it everywhere so I can use it in situations like these," Sarada said. "She told me that even if it's a genjutsu, it feels real to the body, so sometimes you have to use chakra as you would with a physical attack to break free."

"Your mom's a smart woman," Kakashi replied. Sarada's cheeks grew a tinge pink in agreement.

"Did you catch all the signs?" he asked.

She nodded. "I think so …"

"Let's give it a try then. I'll stand here." Kakashi moved in front of the genin.

A little nervously, Sarada began forming the hand seals she'd copied with her Sharingan. Upon completing the last sign, she shouted, "Magen: Jubaku Satsu!"

Nothing happened. She dropped her head back and groaned.

"It's alright," Kakashi said. "Learning all the signs isn't everything; you need to figure out exactly when and how much chakra to put into the seals. With your chakra aptitude, you should be able to pick up on that more quickly than a lot of ninja. Try it again."

 

It took a couple of hours, but Sarada had finally gotten the jutsu down. Taking a break, they leaned against the posts, eating the bentos Sakura had prepared for them. Kakashi was, as always around Sarada, careful to sneak in bites at the speed of lightning when she was distracted (usually by him). Every time she turned back around and saw food missing from his box, she sighed.

"Why won't you let me see your face? I know you let Mom see it," she whined.

"Hmm. Well … Your mom is special. I've known her for a long time. Plus, she went through many trials and tribulations to get the privilege," he gave her a creased-eyed smile that conveyed exactly how much fun he'd had putting Sakura and her teammates through those trials.

"Privilege, huh?" Sarada snorted. "I bet you've got warts everywhere."

Kakashi shrugged, undisturbed. "Who knows? Your mom's team had a number of theories of their own … fish lips was my personal favorite."

Sarada looked unimpressed. "You couldn't hide fish lips with a mask like that. They weren't very clever, were they?"

Kakashi laughed. "That's your mom and dad you're talking about, you know."

Sarada's face expressed that yes, she did know. "Mom said in the end her money was on you being pretty good-looking."

Kakashi raised a curious eyebrow. "Oh was it? That's interesting ... Did she win the bet?"

"There was actually a bet?"

"Ah, yeah," Kakashi said, disappointed that Sarada didn't know anything about it. "Apparently Team 7 had a bet going … whoever's guess about my face was closest to the truth got the money. I never found out who won." And now, having learned what Sakura had bet, he really wanted to know ...

"Well, obviously whoever's money was on fish lips didn't win," Sarada commented disdainfully.

Kakashi quirked a half smile. "Rejected that option completely then, huh?"

"It's illogical. Your mask doesn't hide that much of the shape of your features. That's why I figure if my mom's wrong, it's got to be because of some skin issue," Sarada explained.

"So you think your mom's right too? I'm a good-looking guy?"

She shot him a sidelong glance that was older than her years … definitely learned from Sakura. "No, I don't. That's why I said I bet you have a bunch of warts."

Kakashi sighed, hanging his head and feigning hurt with a hand on his heart. "It's not very nice to pick on the guy who's teaching you a new jutsu, you know …"

"It's not very nice to imply a threat to stop teaching someone just 'cause they have an opinion,  _you know_ ," Sarada retorted.

He shook his head in mock dismay. "You're too much like your mother, Sarada-chan, too much like your mother."

"Hmph!" Sarada jerked her head away.

"Well," he said, cleaning up the empty bentos. "Would you like me to teach you how to break out of that jutsu using only your Sharingan?"

Sarada's head flipped back toward him, eyes excited. "Sure!"

"I mean, that is, if you feel comfortable learning something from an ugly, wart-faced man, even if he doesn't have fish lips …" Kakashi pouted.

She sighed. "Jeez, Kakashi-sama, you've really got that kicked-puppy look down, haven't you?"

He sniffed. "I don't know what you're talking about. I never kick puppies. Only horrible people like Orochimaru kick puppies."

"Well, you do a good job of  _looking like_  a kicked puppy. Mom always says so."

"You two seem to talk about me a lot …" Kakashi said with a sly grin.

Sarada brushed him off. "It's just 'cause you're around all the time."

"Well, if it means two pretty ladies are talking about me, I think being around all the time sounds like a good thing," Kakashi declared.

"Heh," Sarada huffed, staring at the dirt, her mood clearly having changed.

"Something wrong, Sarada-chan?" Kakashi asked, no hint of teasing in his voice.

"Che … I don't know. Not really." She absently kicked around a couple chunks of dirt.

Kakashi was quiet. If he'd learned anything through his relationship with Sakura, it was not to push too much.

His patience paid off after a few moments of silence.

"I guess it's like, why doesn't Dad feel like that? That being around is a good thing?" Sarada said, sending a small chunk of dirt flying halfway across the clearing into a tree.

He took a second to appreciate her accuracy before replying. "Well, I don't know that he doesn't feel that way. You know your dad has a lot of important things to do."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what Mom's always saying. But I know and you know and  _she_  knows that he doesn't have to be gone THAT much. Especially after the clones thing." She frowned, eyes still on the ground. "So ... he must not think being around is important … or he would be around more."

Her voice had gotten heartachingly quiet by the time she finished talking, but Kakashi wasn't entirely sure what to say in response, since he felt the same way about the situation himself … Sasuke was being a selfish dick, wandering away from his family for more than a decade. It wasn't right to marry a woman ... a  _young_ woman at that ... knock her up, and then expect her to raise the child and live on her own, giving up career opportunities and a fulfilling relationship and who knows what else, while you go off to discover yourself for 11 years ...

Sarada's voice broke through his angry thoughts. She was still staring a hole into the earth. "I know Mom isn't happy about it. She acts like everything's fine, but I see her. I see the look she gets sometimes. She thinks I don't, but I do. That's a lot of why I'm so mad at him. Maybe it really  _was_  okay before …" She sounded highly skeptical. "But it's definitely not okay now, not since the clones." Her frown deepened, and he could see the muscles in her jaw clenching.

He wanted to be able to fix things ... for both of them. He wished it had never gotten to this point in the first place. He wished he'd ...

"Anyway. You were going to teach me to get out of that jutsu using the Sharingan?" Sarada asked abruptly.

Kakashi looked up to see a well-schooled face that did Sasuke justice, for all that he wasn't there to teach it to her, and he knew she was done with the conversation, so he just nodded and began to explain the process.

 

Sakura was in her office at the hospital, reviewing a patient file for an upcoming appointment, when she once again found herself trapped by Kakashi's larger frame. He'd planted his left hand on the counter to her side and pressed his chest to her back before peering over her shoulder and setting a steaming cup of coffee from her favorite cafe next to the file. His hand slid from the cup onto the counter.

Body stiff in his loose embrace, she didn't know whether she wanted to run away or lean back against him, so she settled for crossly asking him just what it was he was doing and being inordinately proud that her voice didn't waver at all when she did so.

"Ah, I thought you might like some real coffee," he said. He straightened up so that his warm breath tickled the back of her head, but he didn't move away. She was hyper-aware of the chiseled pectoral muscles and strong biceps keeping her penned in, and she tried not to think about the lower body that was only an inch or so from her rear, the heat of it doing wicked things to parts of her she presently wanted to forget existed.

"Do you really have to stand so close?" she scowled, voice a bit breathier than she would have liked. She felt a blush spreading from her cheeks to the tips of her ears.

"No," he replied matter-of-factly. "But it's much more enjoyable when I do." This last was spoken into her ear, his tone teasingly dark. She felt his lips curl into a smirk before he stepped back with a low chuckle.

It took her a minute to get her bearings. She knew he was watching her, could feel his gaze on her, as she tried to convince herself that he was just being an ass to get a rise out of her. He wasn't actually hitting on her ... right? Kakashi wasn't like that … he'd probably just gotten bored of all of his other methods of driving her crazy and was trying something new. Steadying her breathing, she resolved not to let him get to her (conveniently ignoring the fact that he clearly already had).

Without turning around, she picked up her pen and pretended to continue reviewing her file, though in reality she was seeing none of the words on the page. The coffee he'd brought taunted her from the corner of her eye, reminding her of the way he'd felt and how much that troublesome part of her that just refused to go away had really wanted him to pull her back into his hips and hold her flush against his hard body. She felt her cheeks burning again at the thought and shook her head surreptitiously (she hoped) to try and banish it from her mind.

"How did you get in here anyway?" she queried, her annoyance at herself for feeling the way she did and at him for making her feel that way more than apparent in her delivery. At the same moment, though, she heard the rustle of the papers on her desk and glanced over to see the window open. "... Nevermind," she mumbled grumpily.

She looked up from the window, still frowning, to catch him scratching the back of his head, looking at once sheepish and all too pleased with himself. She flushed again and flipped her head quickly back to her patient file.

"Thank you for the coffee," she managed.

"Mm, you're welcome," he said. "You like it with two sugars, right?"

"Yeah …"

"That's good. I wasn't certain." She imagined the crinkly-eyed smile she was sure he was wearing.

The office was quiet for several minutes.

"You're ignoring me, Sakura-chan," he pouted eventually.

"I'm working, Kakashi," she stated. "I have an appointment in twenty minutes."

"Ah …" his voice trailed off. "You know, Sarada-chan is as quick as you and Sasuke are."

Sakura set her pen down, picked up the coffee, and turned to face him, leaning her back against the counter and taking a sip. "Oh?"

Kakashi nodded. "My mid-morning nap was interrupted by a well-timed Magen: Jubaku Satsu and small fingers curling under my mask."

Sakura giggled. "That's my girl."

"Indeed. Needless to say, I escaped with my purity still intact, but it was a close call," he said, brow furrowing seriously but eyes gleaming with mirth.

She snorted. "Kakashi, I'm pretty sure I know a heavily polluted lake in Mizu that's purer than you are." Unbidden, the image of toned abs against her back flashed through her mind as she couldn't stop herself from wondering just how impure the silver-haired man was. Her cheeks grew pink, and she turned her eyes away from him to her desk.

He laughed lightly. "That may be so …"

"I know it's so," Sakura retorted unthinkingly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, do you now, Sakura-chan?" His voice had suddenly taken on that dark tone that made her insides flutter.

She looked up, mouth open to speak, but no words came out.

He grinned devilishly at her before tucking his hands into his pockets. "Well, I just wanted to drop that off and tell you know how Sarada-chan was doing, since I'm sure she was asleep when you got home last night. I'll let you get back to work now."

She hated that even his thoughtfulness made her flush lightly. "Thank you, Kakashi. For the coffee and for teaching Sarada. I wouldn't have had time …"

"I know," he said. "And I know it's important to you that she not feel left behind by her team." He smiled softly.

She returned it with a small smile of her own. "Yeah. And I think she was really happy to be taught by the last Hokage as well."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Ah … well, anytime," he offered, stepping closer. "Don't forget about our planning session tomorrow." He crinkled his eyes and ruffled her hair, letting his hand linger a bit longer than necessary before pulling back, a lock of her hair slipping through his fingers. "See you later, Sakura-chan."

Her own hand drifted unconsciously to her head. "See you tomorrow, Kakashi," she said with a half-smile.

He nodded, then disappeared through the window.


	8. Chapter 8

When they arrived at their usual room in the library the next afternoon, Kakashi pulled out a chair for Sakura. Looking at him suspiciously, she sat down. He scooted her in closer to the table, then chose the seat next to her rather than the one he typically occupied across from her.

"What's with you being so polite all of a sudden, Ka-ka-shi?" Sakura asked, eyes narrowing as she turned to face him. "I mean, first you do the dishes, then you bring me coffee from my favorite coffee shop, and now you're pulling out my chair for me like we're on a date at a fancy restaurant."

He held her gaze, face the picture of innocence. "You know, that's not a bad idea. Would you like to go on a date to a fancy restaurant with me, Sakura-chan?"

Her cheeks instantly flushed. "It wasn't a suggestion, Kakashi, and no, I would not. I'm married." She closed her eyes imperiously and jerked her head away from him, but not before he could see that she was still blushing lightly.

"Married women deserve to be taken on dates to fancy restaurants too," Kakashi noted with a small shrug.

Sakura scowled. "Yeah,  _by their husbands_  ..."

He watched her eyebrows furrow and her jaw clench. "Hm," he said thoughtfully. "And what if their husbands aren't around to take them?"

She glared at him, an unwelcome lump forming in her throat. "Then they don't go," she ground out.

Kakashi tilted his head and frowned. "That doesn't seem very fair …"

Sakura let out an angry breath. "Kakashi, what are you playing at?"

He looked at her, his grey eyes uncharacteristically serious. "I'm not playing at anything, Sakura. I'm just making an observation."

"Yes, well, you can keep your observations to yourself," she said in a clipped tone, pulling a pen from her pouch and opening her notebook. "We need to finish your speech."

He studied her profile for a minute before sighing and taking out his own notebook.

Sakura tried to swallow. For some reason, that sigh had made her throat tighten even further. She wondered what he was thinking … Was he feeling sorry for her? Was he frustrated with her? Why would he be frustrated with her? It was none of his business whether or not Sasuke was around to take her out to dinner ...

"Why do you care anyway?" she asked, the lump in her throat preventing her from talking at a normal volume. She found that she couldn't look at him, so she studied the pen she was currently rolling around between her fingers.

"Why wouldn't I care?" he countered, keeping his voice low like hers.

Sakura sighed and dropped the pen to bring her hands up to her forehead, then rested her elbows on the table and rubbed her brows with her thumbs. "Because, Kakashi." She raised her green eyes to meet his. "Because you're just my former teacher who appreciates my ability to write diplomatic speeches and gets a kick out of driving me crazy."

He looked at her with some mixture of disbelief and disappointment - maybe even hurt - in his eyes and shook his head. "Is that really all you think this is?"

His voice was quiet, but firm. and all of a sudden, the tunnel vision was back. It was as if there were nothing else in the room but the two of them, and she couldn't turn away from his gaze. Her throat constricted almost unbearably, and her eyes were beginning to sting. She swore she could feel the heat from his body, even though he sat more than a foot away from her.

"I-" she began, then had to stop because she was afraid her voice would crack if she continued. She slammed her notebook closed and stuffed her pen roughly into her pouch, standing. "I need to go."

With that, she hurried out of the room, arms wrapped around the notebook, pressing it tightly against her chest. Kakashi watched her go, then slumped down into his chair with a sigh, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

Naruto found her lying face up on her couch several hours later. She hadn't bothered to turn on any lights, so the room was growing dark with the setting sun.

"Sakura-chan, quit being lame and come out to the pub! You can't just lay here all night," he whined, yanking her arm. "Besides, Shikamaru and Temari are going to be there. You haven't seen them in forever!"

Sakura groaned and pulled her arm away, rolling onto her stomach, head turned from him. "Naruto, I'm not in the mood to go out tonight."

"And that's exactly why you should!" he insisted loudly.

"That makes no sense," she grumbled into the cushion.

"Sure it does … everyone knows friends are the best things for fixing bad days," he grinned. "And if not friends, at least drinks."

She chuckled a little against her will. It was muffled by the fabric.

"Come on, Sakura-chan … it'll be fun! And anyway, I'm not leaving until you do," he declared, sitting on her butt and swinging his legs like a little kid on a chair that is too big for him.

"Oof … Naruto, you weigh a ton," Sakura groused. "And how am I supposed to leave with you squishing me into the couch?"

"Does that mean you're coming?" he asked with a broad smile, legs still kicking.

"Argh, fine, yes. You win. I'll come." With her face still smashed into the cushion, Sakura raised a hand in defeat.

Naruto promptly hopped off of her and waited while she dragged herself into a sitting position before shouting, "Well, let's go!" and grabbing her hand, lifting her up.

"Hold on!" she said, planting her feet to resist being forcibly hauled out the door. "I need to change and fix my hair. You can go on ahead, and I'll meet you there."

"Uh uh," Naruto tutted, shaking his head. "No way am I falling for that. I'll wait here while you get ready."

Sakura looked at the ceiling, wondering which god she'd offended recently and what she could possibly do to atone for the offense so that it would stop torturing her. "Fine. I'll be out in ten."

 

The pub was crowded when they arrived, but of their group, only Hinata, Ino, Kurenai and Gai were there.

"Where's Sai?" Sakura asked as she slid into the booth next to her blonde friend. 

"Mission," Ino replied, taking a sip of her beer 

"Ah," Sakura acknowledged. Naruto took a seat across from her and wrapped an arm around his wife, who blushed but leaned into his embrace. Sakura smiled at them. Even after more than a decade, they were still adorable. 

At that moment, a waiter stopped by, so Sakura and Naruto placed their drink orders, and from down the table a little ways, Gai held up his empty bottle to signal for a fresh one. The waiter nodded and, after checking that no one else needed anything, headed off to the bar. 

"Hey guys, let's make sure to cheer Sakura-chan up tonight. She's having a bad day," Naruto announced loudly.

Sakura slapped her palm into her forehead in embarrassment, then froze when she heard a familiar voice speaking from behind her. "Is she now? I guess we'll have to do something to fix that."

She watched as the owner of said voice pulled a chair up to her end of the table and sat down, his knee bumping hers as he did so. She jerked her leg away as if burned, but he just gave her a crinkly-eyed smile and waved at the table.

Sakura thought she might hyperventilate. The absolute last person she wanted to see right then was sitting kitty-corner to her, his body so close she could feel the warmth of his legs under the table, no matter how far she tried to move her own away, so close that that scent she'd never realized she associated with him suddenly became the only thing she could smell.

" _Is that really all you think this is?"_

His question echoed in her head. She should have known he would be there. She should have fought Naruto harder and bloody stayed home. It wasn't like she could leave now … that would look too weird. So she was stuck here. Sitting next to this - this  _impossible_  man, who was no doubt plotting more ways to make her uncomfortable at that very moment. She wanted to scream, but obviously that would look even weirder than up and leaving, so she just clenched her fists tightly in her lap and prayed that the evening would go quickly.

Sakura was still focused on her thoughts when the waiter brought her sake to the table. Probably unhealthily happy to see that wonderful container of alcohol, she grabbed the bottle to pour herself a glass, but her hand was stopped by Kakashi's. His rough and calloused fingers wrapped around hers as he spoke softly, "Allow me."

Once again he had made the rest of the world disappear. She could only stare at their hands, letting hers drop to the table and following his with her eyes as he took the bottle from her and tilted it to fill her cup. When the sake almost reached the top of glass, he set the bottle down and gently pushed the cup toward her.

Somewhere in the back of her consciousness it registered that Shikamaru and Temari had arrived and were being greeted by the others in the group, but Sakura couldn't bring herself to look away from the small white glass. She stretched out her arm to take hold of the cup and bring it to her lips, letting the warm liquid slide down her throat while she tried to snap herself out of the trance he seemed to have put her in.

It was Temari's voice that finally penetrated the haze. "Hey, Sakura, how're you doing?"

The Suna kunoichi had walked over to Sakura's side of the table and bent down to give her a quick hug. Sakura gathered herself together and replied, "I'm doing well. How are you?"

Temari smiled. "Not too bad." She looked over Sakura's head to make eye contact with Shikamaru, her eyes soft. "Seems that lazy-ass husband of mine is about to have a little more trouble to deal with."

Sakura's eyes widened. "You don't mean …?"

"Yup. Thirteen weeks yesterday," Temari grinned widely.

"Oh my god, congratulations!" Sakura exclaimed, standing to give her friend a proper hug. "I'm so happy for you!" She turned to Shikamaru, who had taken a seat at the other side of the table. "Congratulations, Shikamaru!" she called out.

He nodded his head in thanks, but she was sure he was muttering "troublesome" under his breath. She shook her head, smiling. Some things would never change.

After answering a few more questions about names and gender and morning sickness, Temari left to sit next to her husband and talk to the table about their recent trip to Suna. Sakura felt herself finally relaxing. In fact, she became so involved in the conversation that she barely noticed when Kakashi refilled her glass a second, third, and fourth time. When he went to refill it a fifth time, he found that the bottle was empty.

"Sakura-chan," he said, his voice low. She didn't respond. He reached out to wrap his fingers around her wrist. "Sakura-chan," he repeated.

Sakura finally heard him, but she didn't acknowledge it. She was too busy telling herself that it was the alcohol dulling her reaction time that kept her from snatching her wrist away at the first touch of his warm hand, but even she recognized that that reason didn't explain why she hadn't moved it even after noticing.

"Sakura," he called, brushing his thumb over the curve between her wrist and the palm of her hand.

She looked up at him and was almost overwhelmed by the heat that seemed to travel from his eyes through her entire body. She felt like her temperature had risen 5 degrees.

He gave her a half-smile. "You're out of sake."

"Oh," she breathed, finally pulling her arm away. The pattern his thumb had been tracing was doing funny things to her insides.

"Do you want me to order you another bottle?" he asked quietly.

"Um, yeah, sure, if you wouldn't mind," she said, eyes still locked on his. "I'm going to go to the restroom. I'll be back."

With some effort, she looked away from him and stood, making her way to the bathroom. Once inside, she went immediately to the sink to splash some cold water on her face. What had gotten into her? She studied her face in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were slightly hooded in that way they got when she was buzzed. If she didn't know better, she'd say she'd just finished a round of fantastic sex.

Kakashi's grey eyes suddenly popped into her head, and her face reddened further. Unwittingly, she found herself picturing those eyes as he moved above her, imagining how dark they would get in the heat of the moment, wondering what would make them roll back and close in pleasure. She bit her lip, her mouth dry.

The sound of the bathroom door opening jolted her out of her daydream as two girls entered and headed for the stalls, laughing loudly.

She stared at herself in the mirror, eyes wide with shock at what she had been thinking. How could she have been thinking about Kakashi like that?  _Kakashi!_  The man who seemed to spend most of his time trying to get on her last nerve?

 _Well, I'd let him get on something at any rate …_  Inner Sakura snickered.

Oh god, now that bitch was back. Great. Perfect. Just what she needed.

Her hands gripped the sides of the sink so hard she heard the porcelain crack. This was ridiculous. She turned the water on and splashed her face again, slapping her cheeks in hopes of knocking the sense back into herself.

Feeling a little better, she dried her face with a paper towel and opened the bathroom door.

Halfway out of the restroom, she froze. There was Kakashi, leaning against the wall across from the door, his eyes unreadable in the poor lighting of the hallway.

_Those eyes ..._

Sakura mentally shook her head and stepped out, letting the door close behind her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice surprisingly steady.

"You seemed a little out of it; I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he replied, not moving.

"I'm fine," she said curtly, walking past him toward the dining room.

She'd barely made it a foot when she felt his hand on her arm. "What?" she growled, jerking her arm out of his grip and facing him.

Her irritation dissolved as she noticed how close he was. He was too close. Why was he that close? She backed up slowly, but Kakashi followed until she hit the wall. He rested a palm to the side of her head.

"You don't seem fine, Sakura-chan," he insisted, one silver eyebrow raised in apparent concern.

Why was his voice so deep? Why was it making her shiver? She put a hand on his chest to push him away, but the feeling of his muscles beneath her fingers sent a bolt of electricity through her body, and she snatched it back immediately, pressing it into the wall behind her.

He looked at her hand, then back up at her. "Am I making you nervous, Sakura-chan?"

Her breath caught in her throat. The heat in his eyes and the way they kept traveling down to her mouth stirred a desire in her that was impossible to ignore. She felt like she had a fever, and it kept rising the closer his face seemed to get, the closer those eyes seemed to get. He locked her gaze with his when he was finally close enough for his nose to brush against her own. His masked lips were then a mere centimeter from hers, and in that moment, with those lazy, charcoal-colored eyes smoldering with an unfamiliar intensity, Sakura wanted nothing more than to find out how those lips would feel against hers, how they would feel on her jaw or burning a trail down her neck. She wanted to know so badly it almost hurt.

He was so close.

"Kakashi," she whispered. Her lips ghosted over his as she spoke.

"Hmm?" He drew back ever so slightly and let his eyes drop to her lips before he grazed her nose with his and met her eyes again. The hand not on the wall next to her head was suddenly on her hip, fingers pulling her just a little bit closer to his body.

She drew in a sharp breath.

"I-" She was finding it hard to think. She squeezed her eyes shut and tilted her head back. The movement brought their lips closer. "Oh god, I-"

And suddenly he was pulling away. An instant later, the bathroom door opened and the two chatty girls stepped out. Clearly drunk, they seemed not to even notice Kakashi and Sakura as they walked between them toward the dining room. After they had passed, the two ninja found themselves staring at each other from across the hall. Sakura was still leaning against the wall, and it was a good thing too, because she might have crumpled to the ground without its support as she realized what she had almost just done. She had almost just kissed Kakashi.

She had  _almost just kissed Kakashi_.

Her throat seemed to drop into her stomach and her eyes widened as she gawked at him. He was wearing that inscrutable look he seemed to be wearing so often of late, and she wished she knew what he was thinking.

Or maybe it was better if she didn't know.

Heart racing, she peeled herself off of the wall. "Tell them I'm sick," she said, then bolted to the back exit.

Kakashi didn't stop her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: So, no idea why I decided to have Temari pregnant. Maybe I just like the idea of torturing Shikamaru a little more. 
> 
> Also, sorry (but kinda not sorry) for being such a tease with this chapter. :)


	9. Chapter 9

Sakura had successfully managed to avoid Kakashi for three days, and in that time, she'd gotten fairly adept at blocking out thoughts of him as soon as they entered her head. She'd also been relearning how to ignore Inner Sakura, who insisted on telling her that she could avoid Kakashi for the rest of her life if she wanted, but she'd never be able to forget the other night ... the heat in his eyes, the warmth of his breath against her lips, the touch of his fingers on her hips, pulling her into him …

Sakura mentally pounded her inner self into the ground of her mind and stuck her pen roughly into her white coat pocket. She picked up the file she'd come to her office to retrieve and was about to continue her rounds when a nurse rapped lightly on the partially-opened door before poking her head through the gap to look in.

Catching Sakura's eye, the nurse pushed the door fully open and entered the office. "Sakura-sama," she said with a small bow. "We need you in exam room 8. There's a patient there who refuses to see anyone but you."

Sakura sighed. Sadly, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence; most of the Rookie 9  _and_  their former teachers had taken to insisting upon her whenever they had to visit the hospital. Shaking her head, she tucked the file into the crook of her arm and walked past the nurse and out of the office. The nurse followed behind her.

"What's the injury?" Sakura asked without stopping.

"He's got a gash across his chest from a kunai. Apparently it was a sparring accident," the nurse reported. "He won't even let us stop the bleeding … said he needed to preserve his modesty."

Sakura's heart stopped, but somehow she was able to keep her pace steady. She knew only one man who would say something outrageous like that. "Tsuki-san, you wouldn't happen to be talking about our illustrious former Hokage, would you?" she queried, glancing at the nurse out of the corner of her eye.

The nurse blushed and looked down at the tile. "Um, yes, Sakura-sama," she confirmed. "He told me not to tell you that he was the patient, but …"

"Thank you, Tsuki-san. I'm glad you did," Sakura said. And she really was; she had no idea what her reaction might have been if she hadn't had any time to prepare herself for seeing him again for the first time since …

 _Since you were a half-second away from finding out if that man's kisses are as sexy as that cocky smirk he's always wearing_ , Inner Sakura finished with a wide grin.

 _For the love of god, why won't you just go away?_  Sakura growled mentally.  _I thought I was done with you years ago._

Inner Sakura shrugged, looking like she was enjoying herself way too much. Sakura glared at her.

"... Sakura-sama? We just passed room 8." Tsuki's timid voice cut into the staring contest Sakura was having with her inner self.

"Ah, oh, right. Thank you, Tsuki-san. I seem to be a little distracted today," Sakura explained with a fake smile and a small laugh as she turned back toward the correct room.

"Completely understandable, Sakura-sama. You're always so busy!" Tsuki nodded sympathetically. She opened the exam room door and handed Sakura a clipboard. "Here's his chart. Let me know if you need any assistance, Sakura-sama. I'm happy to help."

Sakura didn't miss the way the petite girl's cheeks flushed lightly as her eyes flickered toward the patient before she left the room. She frowned, suddenly feeling irritated. Had he always elicited those kinds of reactions in women, and she'd just never noticed? And how old was Tsuki-san anyway? She was probably half Kakashi's age … there was no reason for her to be blushing over an old pervert like him.

Still glowering, Sakura flipped over the first page on the clipboard and turned toward her obnoxious patient. When she finally looked up, though, she was stunned to see that the gash, while shallow, ran across his chest from just under his right rib cage almost to his left collarbone. Small rivulets of blood were still trickling from parts of the wound.

"Kakashi! What the hell happened?" she cried out, dropping the chart onto the counter and moving to stand in front of him, lifting the jagged edge of his shirt to expose the cut.

He was sitting on the exam table, hands curled around its edges, torn shirt hanging loosely from his body. His posture was only fractionally more hunched than usual, but it was enough to tell her that he was in pain.

He gave her a wry smile. "Well, I had some … frustrations … to work out, so I thought it would be fun to have a Rokudaime versus Nanadaime Hokage sparring session."

"Are you mad? You know Naruto still gets carried away sometimes, especially if he's sparring with someone like you!" she scolded as she quickly set to cutting off his shirt.

Once it was removed, she pushed his shoulders back slightly to get a better look at the wound. He winced. "Ouch, Sakura-chan. That hurts."

"Quiet. It's your own damn fault," she said sharply, not sparing him a glance as she examined the gash. "Alright, I need to clean this out first. You've got dirt and bits of rock and … is that dog fur?" She reached out and pulled away a stray hair, holding it up to the light. "Dog fur," she sighed, letting it fall to the ground beside the exam table and turning toward the counter to put together the disinfecting supplies.

Out of habit, he started to raise his arm to scratch the back of his head sheepishly, but immediately thought the better of it as the slight movement sent a shock of pain across his chest. He clenched his jaw briefly before forcing his eyes to crinkle in his usual smile, even though her back was to him. "Well, I couldn't very well leave Pakkun and the others out of such an epic battle," he protested.

"You are  _impossible_ ," she groused, grabbing a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the cabinet and setting it next to the other supplies she'd placed on a tray.

Picking up the tray, she put it down on the far end of the exam table and told him to turn so that he would be sitting of the broad side of the table rather than the end. He obeyed, his movement awkward as he tried to avoid causing himself more pain. With her supplies now easily within reach at his side, she began disinfecting the wound.

"So where is the overzealous Nanadaime now? Shouldn't he be in here too? I can't imagine he's uninjured if you look like this," she questioned, eyes focused on her task.

"Ah, ha ha …" Kakashi chuckled nervously. "I think he's still on the training grounds."

Sakura lifted her head to shoot him a raised eyebrow, hand paused. "Ka-ka-shi …" she warned.

"Ah, well, you see, I might have knocked him unconscious …" he creased his eyes at her, but he knew she was having none of it.

" … And you just  _left_  him there?" Her voice was low and carried a subtle threat of bodily harm to come as she spoke.

"No!" he replied immediately, then looked up at the ceiling. " … Well, kind of. I sent Pakkun to get help."

She blinked. "You sent Pakkun to get help."

He nodded, smiling uncertainly. "Yes?"

She flattened her palm against her forehead. "Kakashi, he could have a concussion! You can't just leave him out there! Dear god, you're old enough to know this … or your birth certificate says you are at any rate!"

Kakashi waved his hands in front of her, trying not to grimace at the pain as he did so. "No, no, no, Sakura-chan … I used a genjutsu," he explained quickly. "He's fine! …" He paused, furrowing his brows. "Well, physically …"

She bopped him on the head reproachingly. "Kakashi!"

"I'm just kidding, Sakura-chan. It wasn't a  _traumatizing_  genjutsu …" he reassured her, smiling innocently.

She gave him a flat look. "I hate you."

Returning her attention to cleaning his wound, grumbling about the way he always made her worry unnecessarily, she didn't see the tender, amused look on his face as he gazed down at the top of her head.

 

A few minutes later, Sakura placed the swab onto the tray and straightened up. "Okay, I'm going to heal it now," she told him as she channeled chakra to her hands. He nodded, and she held her glowing palms about an inch from his chest. His flesh instantly began to knit itself back together.

As she watched the cut close, Sakura was, for the first time, extremely unhappy that she had become so used to healing injuries like this that she barely had to concentrate. Unlike the disinfecting process, which required her to stay focused in order to ensure that she cleaned the wound completely, the chakra-healing part left her with way too much unoccupied attention for her to avoid noticing Kakashi's muscular chest and incredibly toned abs. Even as she tried to keep her eyes from trailing over his body, she was once again uncomfortably aware of how close he was to her, and she was dismayed to discover that she liked the way he smelled when he was sweaty and dirty from sparring.

Like  _really_  liked it …

She was beginning to get that tunnel vision that she seemed so often to get around him. The more she was unable to keep her eyes off of him and the more she inhaled his scent, the more the rest of the room seemed to fade away around her.

Absently, she realized that she'd never had cause to consider the concept of a "clean sweat" before, but there was probably no better way to describe the raw, masculine scent that was nearly overwhelming her. As if it were a drug, with each intake of breath, she found it that much harder to stop her gaze from drifting over his body, that much harder to stop herself from shortening the distance between them, that much harder to stop herself from leaning forward and nuzzling her nose against his neck.

 

With the calming sensation of her warm chakra flowing through his body, Kakashi watched Sakura's shifting facial expressions as her eyes ambled from the gash on his chest down over the ridges of his abdomen. He watched her catch herself several times, always returning her gaze quickly to the wound, only to let it travel from there to his collarbone or to his shoulders or back to his abs moments later. Wearing a devious grin, he couldn't resist shifting in a way that made his muscles clench _just so_  , and he was rewarded with a blush and the slight parting of her lips.

 

Sakura couldn't help that her mouth went dry at the way his abs tightened when he resituated himself. They were, she had to admit, damn near perfect. As was his chest. And his shoulders. Even at 44, he maintained that balance between bulk and tone that she had always found difficult to resist. Truth be told, there was something about his upper body that was more appealing to her than her husband's. Sasuke was in incredible shape, there was no questioning that, but looking at Kakashi, she realized that maybe she preferred a longer torso, a leaner frame.

And the way he smelled …

Inner Sakura was getting a kick out of imagining what it would be like to press her hands against his chest and run her fingers over each ridge on his abdomen down to where his pants fell low on his hips.

Sakura bit her lip. Thanks to her rotten inner self, Kakashi's proximity, and (Inner Sakura pointed out gleefully) his shirtlessness, the craving she had felt the night before had returned tenfold. As she stared at his hard body, she could feel the heat of desire growing in her nipples and pulsing between her legs, and with each movement he made, the desire became more like pain. Having him that close yet not hers to touch was some sort of torture she'd never known existed.

As if he could read her thoughts, he stretched slightly, muscles expanding and then contracting, and suddenly Sakura wasn't sure she had ever wanted anything more than she wanted to spread her legs over his lap right then. At that moment, she wanted those abs between her thighs with a lust so fierce she wasn't sure she hadn't been hit with some kind of genjutsu.

 

After stretching (intentionally, of course), Kakashi saw Sakura's eyes pause on his lower abs, then stop where his skin met his pants. He waited for her to jerk her gaze back up, as she had repeatedly over the last twenty minutes, but she didn't, and she seemed to be breathing more shallowly than before. He was far from an innocent man, and thoughts of what might be running through her mind and making her breathless as she studied that area of his body so intently had him struggling not to get hard.

He had to credit a lifetime of denying himself things that he wanted with the near-miracle that somehow he managed …

However, knowing that even his iron willpower would truly be put to the test if they remained like this for much longer, Kakashi was incredibly relieved to realize that his wound was healed.

"Sakura, I think it's done now," he said quietly, lifting an arm to gently clasp one of her hands in his, his fingers on the back of her hand and his thumb resting against her palm.

The green glow of her chakra faded, but she didn't lower her arms, and she didn't say anything. When she finally raised her eyes to his, Kakashi was stunned by the heat in them, and even his renowned willpower couldn't stop the bolt of desire it sent straight down to his groin.

 

The warmth of his hand wrapping around hers only fanned the flames of the acute desire burning through her body, and she knew he could see it when she looked up at him. She watched his gaze widen and then darken, and the sight of those grey eyes the way she had imagined them the night before had her unwittingly stepping closer to him. His grip tightened at her movement, and he couldn't stop himself from bringing her hand to his bare chest.

As if in a trance, Sakura let her other hand fall, the tips of her fingers brushing over his skin before coming to settle on his thigh. His eyes, locked on hers, grew darker still as he let go of her wrist and dropped his hand inside her white coat to her waist.

"Sakura …" he said in a low, rough voice that had her inching even closer. His fingers pressed into her lower back, making her arch ever so slightly.

The hand on his thigh clutched unconsciously at the fabric of his pants as the one he'd left on his chest slowly, without her permission, traced up over his collarbone and circled to the back of his head, where her fingers sank into his hair, her thumb lightly massaging the side of his neck. He slid his other arm under hers to grasp her hip.

She stood now between his thighs with both of his hands under her coat and resting low on her waist, but she wanted him closer. Unwilling or unable to stop (she refused to determine which), her eyes dropped to his mouth, and the hand in his hair blindly coaxed his head down even as she used the leverage to draw herself forward. The hand on his thigh drifted up to his jawline, and he tugged her flush against his body, his own need to feel her becoming overwhelming.

"Sakura …" he repeated darkly, his hold on her waist tightening.

Eyes transfixed by his mouth, she traced his bottom lip with her thumb as she whispered, "I just …"

_Just once. I have to know …_

When her lips met his, she was hit with a nearly crippling wave of desire.

She pulled back instinctively with a sharp intake of breath, eyes wide, only to find herself caught in his gaze. Her eyes widened further - he had never looked at her that way before.  _No one_  had ever looked at her that way before. The raw hunger she saw in those charcoal depths was frightening and intoxicating and that brief kiss wasn't enough. Her eyes drifted shut as she wrapped her arms around him and dragged his mouth to hers with a soft moan.

One large hand slid up her back and out from inside her coat to cup her head, holding her still as he deepened the kiss, nipping at her lower lip and pressing her body into his with his other hand on the small of her back. Her hands fisted in his hair as she let the tip of her tongue slip out to dance with his.

With a low groan, Kakashi's fingers moved to her shoulders to push off her coat, and his mouth left hers to trail across her jaw to her neck. She tilted her head back to bare more of her throat to him and dropped her arms. Leaving warm kisses along her neck, he ran his hands over her shoulders and down her triceps to her wrists, taking the coat with him.

When it hit the ground with a rustle, he kissed his way back to her mouth and lifted her arms to drape them around his neck again, then pulled her in tightly, pressing their chests together as he slanted his mouth fully across hers.

She'd thought all those ridiculous  _Icha Icha_  books had been exaggerating when they described a kiss that could make you feel like you were on fire, but apparently that was only because she'd never experienced it. This, now, the way his lips moved with hers, the way one large hand splayed in between her shoulder blades and the other traced a path down past the small of her back to grip her ass, the roughness of his stubble against her chin and the softness of his tongue dipping into her mouth to slide against her own … she had never felt more in danger of burning up than she did in his arms. Her entire body was being consumed by the need to be  _closer_ , to be enveloped by him, for him to  _do something_ about the blaze in her belly.

His hand rose to tangle in her hair, tugging her head back so he could nip at her neck. "Sakura .. God, Sakura …" he groaned between kisses. " …  _I want you_." After trailing his tongue up to her ear, he sucked the lobe into his mouth before giving it a quick bite. "I want  _all_ of you …"

His voice was deep and dark and she thought she might come just from those words and the tickle of his warm breath. Her hands had fallen to grasp at his waist, and she was close enough to feel that he was hard.

 _Very_  hard.

And oh, how she wanted that inside her … She wanted him to pull down her shorts and take out his cock and lift her onto his lap, filling her and pushing up into her over and over so that she might finally get some relief from the flames threatening to engulf her.

"Kakashi …" she sighed needily as he brought his other hand down to grab her rear. "Kakashi, please …"

In response, he smashed his mouth against hers as he moved his hands to her thighs and hoisted her up, spreading her legs and setting her on his lap. They leaned back, lips only an inch apart, breathing ragged, and looked at each other as they took a moment to appreciate the feeling of their bodies connecting where they needed it most.

Without breaking eye contact, he guided her into rolling against him, and the sensation was too much to keep them from closing their eyes. As she rolled her hips a second time, their mouths met again in a gentle, unhurried kiss.

"Sakura …" he murmured against her lips, hands pressing into her ass and pushing her down onto him as she continued to move slowly. "Sakura, I-"

"Sakura-sama, we've got an emergency. Are you almost finished with Kakashi-sama?" Tsuki's voice came suddenly from the other side of the door.

At the sound, Sakura jumped off of Kakashi like a startled cat, mouth open in shock as she tried to regain her bearings. Somehow (probably as a result of years of ninja training), her frazzled mind managed to come up with a response. "Ah, yes, Tsuki-san," she said, controlling her breathing as well as she could while staring at Kakashi. "We're just wrapping up. I'll be out in a minute."

Her eyes didn't leave his as, only half-consciously, she ran her fingers through her hair and straightened her clothing. It wasn't until she bent down to pick up her coat from the floor that she finally broke eye contact, but she couldn't seem to look away for long; her bewildered gaze shot back to his own unsettled one as soon as she had the coat in her hands. Mechanically, she dusted it off and slipped it over her shoulders. She picked up his file from the counter and backed toward the door before finally turning and lifting the handle.

Neither of them said anything as she left the room.

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: In my dog-lover version of the *Naruto* universe, ninken live way longer than normal dogs, so Pakkun and crew are still hanging about. Also, we're going to finally start getting some more insight into our favorite scarecrow's thoughts.


	10. Chapter 10

Sakura sat huddled on her couch, feet on the cushion, toes curled, legs tucked into her chest. Her face was buried in her knees, and her hands clenched and unclenched the hair at the top of her head. She looked like she wanted simultaneously to crawl into herself, making her body as small as possible so she could hide from the world, and to climb out of her own skin, as if it were impossible for her physical form to contain everything she was feeling at that moment.

Kakashi hadn't seen her like this in years, and it cut into him like a kunai to the stomach as he quietly closed the front door behind him. He could tell the instant she noticed his presence in her house by the way she burrowed further into herself, pulling her feet in closer and pushing her head down as low as she could get it.

"Kakashi ... go away," she said. Her words were barely more than a whisper, but the audible emotional fatigue they carried gave them all the force of a command.

... Yet it was one that he could not follow. Stepping fully into her living room and sitting on the couch across from her, he watched, heart aching, as she tried to make herself tinier still.

"Sakura ..." he began, but stopped when she let her hands slip from her hair to grasp her knees tightly and raised her head.

Even had he wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to hide the pain he felt at the anguished look she gave him.

He hated the tear tracks staining her cheeks and the way her beautiful green eyes were rimmed in red, and he hated that those same eyes instantly filled with water as she met his gaze. But perhaps more than anything, he hated the way they overflowed when her voice, hoarse from crying, broke as she tried to speak. "I  _can't_  ... Kakashi ... I  _can't_  right now."

Her teary face was pleading with him to leave her alone, but he couldn't, not yet. She needed to know first. As much as it hurt him to hurt her with his presence, she needed to know.

"Sakura, I meant what I said earlier ... that I want all of you," he told her seriously.

She let out a humorless laugh and gave him a small, ironic smile. "Yeah, you want me ... I think that was pretty clear."

The smile faded along with the sound of her voice, and her eyes filled again with tears, which spilled silently over her cheeks as she rested her chin between her knees and looked down, bottom lip quivering and fingers digging into her thighs with the effort of holding back sobs.

He wanted to wipe those tears away with his thumbs and pull her into his arms as he had done that night four years ago, but he knew that there was a greater chance of his touch making her feel worse than of it making her feel better this time. He had no choice but to talk to her with a coffee table between them.

"Sakura," he said deliberately. "I mean that I want to be for you everything that Sasuke isn't."

Her glistening eyes lifted in confusion, and he met them with a tender gaze as he explained, "I want to hold you and go out with you and spar with you and tease you until you blush ..." He looked thoughtful for a moment before adding, " ... or punch me." One corner of his mouth quirked fondly. "I want to watch you leave on missions and be there to welcome you home when you return. I want to help you raise Sarada-chan ... and maybe keep you from destroying any more houses in the process."

He paused to study her face, comforted to see that her tears were drying up while she kept her eyes on his.

Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his expression completely open for once, he made sure that he had her full attention as he finished. "Sakura, when I say that I want all of you, that's what I mean: I want to share all those moments with you ... I want to share a  _life_  with you."

Sakura could only stare at him. In the span of a few weeks, he had gone from familiar, annoying Kakashi, former Hokage and erstwhile teacher, to a man who made her lose control of her senses and do things she would never normally do, to someone she felt she almost didn't know at all - a stranger with Kakashi's face who looked at her like she was everything he had ever wished for while he told her that he wanted a life with her.

Was this—what she was seeing in his deep grey eyes right now—was _this_  what he had been hiding with all those unreadable looks?

Whether it was or it wasn't, she couldn't have articulated the thoughts swirling around her head if someone were holding a kunai against her throat, and for the first time since she had reappeared, Inner Sakura too seemed to be at a loss.

They sat there in silence for several minutes, just watching each other over the coffee table. Finally, one thought managed to cohere amidst the jumble that was her mind.

"I'm married," she said, almost as if it were a novel concept.

"I know," he replied simply, his eyes inscrutable again.

"No, I mean, I'm  _married_ , Kakashi," she insisted. "You can't ... you can't just go saying things like that to me!"

She stood, her voice gaining volume. "You can't say things like that to me, you can't give me those stupid heated, confusing looks, and you can't ... dammit, Kakashi! You can't kiss me!"

She was full-on pacing by the end of her outburst, steadily wearing a hole in the carpet between the coffee table and the couch she'd been sitting on.

"Or  _I_  can't be kissing  _you_..." she muttered, talking more to herself than to him now. "Or both ..."

She ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm  _married_  ... I can't believe ... What was I  _thinking_?! How could I ... Sasuke ..."

Her thoughts and her movements were halted abruptly by a hard chest blocking her path. She looked up, out of breath, as Kakashi set his hands on her shoulders.

"Sakura ...  _Stop._ " His tone allowed for no arguments.

When he was satisfied that she wasn't going to resume her frantic pacing, he let his hands drop to his sides, but he didn't step back. Instead, using the shorter distance between them to capture her eyes with his, he said, "Sakura, I'm quite aware that you're married. That's why I ..." He shook his head, cutting himself off. "Well, in any case, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I just want you to see that you deserve a better life than Sasuke's giving you right now. If you understand that and you still think he is or can be what you need, then I'll have to live with that. But if you wake up one morning and decide that you want more, I'm here."

He tilted her face toward his with two fingers under her chin. "I'll always be here," he murmured, letting his hand slide up to cup her face gently. His thumb caressed her cheek as his eyes traveled briefly to her lips before he met her gaze again.

Giving her a soft smile, he withdrew his hand to put it in his pocket and turned to leave.

Sakura's fingers rose unconsciously to touch the place his hand had been as she watched him step out the door.

Once she found herself alone again, the only clear thought she had was that she was utterly, completely exhausted ... physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

She allowed that sole thought to direct her to her bed, where, still in her work clothes, she fell into a deep and mercifully dreamless sleep.

 

 

When Sakura awoke, it was just after dawn, and the streets were blanketed in a warm fog. Unable to fall back asleep, she changed into a pair of loose shorts and a tank top and decided to go for a walk. After grabbing a light cardigan from the coat rack by the door, she left the house.

With no particular goal in mind, Sakura let herself wander the empty streets. Through the fog, she could see the dew that had formed on the plants and objects she passed, and she absently traced her finger across the handle of a bicycle propped against a light post while she walked by. Without stopping, she rubbed the water she'd picked up between her finger and her thumb for a moment before wiping them dry on her shorts.

She had to assume that she was still in a state of shock, because her mind refused to process anything more than her surroundings. If she tried to think about Kakashi and all that had happened the day before or if she tried to think about Sasuke, out wandering wherever he was wandering, she found that she was capable only of mustering up the vaguest of images of either man before they drifted away and she was left observing a sign posted in a store window or the way the branches of a tree fell over the street or the color of the sky as it grew lighter.

The fog was beginning to lift by the time she made it to the edge of town, but it was an overcast morning, so the world still appeared dreamlike ... what few sounds there were seemed muted, and everything was washed in shades of blue and grey. Even the green of the leaves of the trees looked desaturated in the misty morning light.

Sakura felt like the only person in the world, and it was both comforting and very lonely.

 

She hadn't realized she'd been approaching the cenotaph until she saw his lanky form standing in front of it. He didn't seem to have noticed her, and she found herself rooted to the ground several yards away, captivated by his stillness. With wisps of fog wrapping around him, blending in with his hair, and his dark blue clothes matching the somber mood of the morning, he seemed unreal to her ... more a shadowy figure in a dream than a living person.

How many times had he visited this place over the last thirty years? She knew he went almost every day when he was in the village. Even after the events with Obito during the fourth ninja war, he continued to go, spending anywhere from ten minutes to three hours in front of the cold stone.

She wondered if he still felt guilty, and she felt a quiet aching in her heart at the thought that he might. He had sacrificed so much and punished himself for so long; he, perhaps more than anyone she knew, deserved peace.

_"I just want you to see that you deserve a better life than Sasuke's giving you right now."_

A part of her knew he was right ... he deserved peace, and she deserved a fulfilling relationship. But she loved Sasuke, and she had made a commitment to him. He wasn't gone because he didn't love her; he, like Kakashi, had simply suffered too much.

 _Kakashi's still here though ... and he always has been,_ Inner Sakura noted quietly.  _He's never run away._

 _Sasuke isn't running away,_ Sakura argued, but even she didn't hear any conviction in it.

 _"I'll always be here,"_ Kakashi had said.

And she believed him ... He'd never given her any reason to think he wouldn't be. She just didn't understand where all the other stuff came from. Why did he want "all of her," as he'd put it? When did he start to feel that way about her?

She stared at his back, a sort of helpless confusion swirling in her mind. Who was he really? She'd thought she'd known him, but she never would have thought he'd say something like he had the day before, especially not to her. Kakashi generally didn't express emotions, yet yesterday he had been so open. He loved to tease her, she knew, but he would never tease her about something like that.

And then there was his kiss. Now that the haze of desire wasn't clouding her mind, she could recognize that she'd felt more there ... She'd gotten the sense of an almost desperate need from him that went beyond simple lust, and it scared her.

He'd looked so honest when he'd told her he wanted to share a life with her ...

Her eyes started welling up with tears. She was so very confused. In that moment, something inside of her wanted nothing more than to run up to him and wrap her arms around him, letting her cheek rest against his strong back and feeling his hands cover hers as they held onto his stomach ... she wanted the comfort and security he'd always given her.

But she couldn't. It didn't matter what he'd said or how she felt just then; she was married. And Sasuke was a good man. All she needed to do was have that talk with him when he came home, and everything would work out.

 _If you really think that, why does your chest hurt so much right now?_ Inner Sakura asked.

Sakura didn't respond. Instead, she wiped the tears from her eyes and turned away from the silver-haired man to walk back home.

 

Kakashi knew she was watching him, but he didn't acknowledge her; if she wanted to talk to him, she would. He'd already pushed her too much ...

He kicked himself again for getting carried away the day before. He'd wanted her to kiss him ... he just hadn't expected the need to hit him so hard once she did. Having her lips finally on his had proven to be more than he could handle, and he hated himself for it. What he'd intended to be a brief, gentle kiss to get her to open up to the idea of him had turned into a heated makeout session that had scared her and made her feel so guilty that she'd cried ... and clearly for a long while too.

And then he'd had to confess to her sooner than he'd planned ... he'd had no choice after what happened in the hospital. He couldn't let her think it was only physical for him.

He sighed quietly. Forty-four years old, and he had probably screwed everything up because he couldn't keep a hold on his libido like some horny teenager.

He clenched his teeth. He would never forgive himself if he lost any chance he might have had with her because of it.

 

When he smelled her tears, his heart sank. Just seeing him made her cry. He really was a fool.

It took everything in him to keep from turning to comfort her. He knew it wasn't the right time for that, that where they went from here had to be her decision, but that knowledge didn't make it any easier to be so close and yet unable even to try to make things right.

It was with mixed feelings that he heard her walk away without saying anything to him. He wanted to be near her, but when all his presence did was cause her pain, it was probably best that he leave her be.

With a sigh, he left the cenotaph to return to his apartment. He could only hope that she would be able to forgive him by the time he returned from Amegakure ...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: You knew there had to be angst coming, didn't you? There will be more of that as we continue with the story, but no worries, there'll be a lot of sexual tension and a fair amount of smut too.


	11. Chapter 11

Kakashi had left for Amegakure the day after Sakura had watched him standing in the fog in front of the cenotaph.

That was over three weeks ago.

She'd never seen the final copy of his speech.

But in his absence, she found to her chagrin that she missed him. As much as he drove her crazy and as confusing as things had been between them of late, she had genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. She liked the way they bantered and the way he could always seem to make her smile, even when he was doing his level best to piss her off. Dinners seemed lonelier too, especially when Sarada was on a mission.

Truthfully, Sakura was surprised by how quickly she'd gotten used to seeing him almost every day, and even Sarada had asked when he would be back ... She'd said she'd come up with a foolproof plan to see his face and couldn't wait to try it out, but somehow Sakura suspected that was only part of it.

Sarada's question made Sakura think about the lack of a consistent adult male's presence in her daughter's life, and though she'd worried about it before, it had never seemed like too big a deal; Sarada did very well in the academy, and she'd contributed much to the success of the missions she'd gone on as a genin.

Admittedly, Sakura had started to become more concerned after Sarada left to find Sasuke, but it wasn't until she saw how her daughter was around Kakashi that she began to think that perhaps it was more of an issue than she'd realized ... Though Sarada was a good ninja and a strong, independent girl, it didn't mean she didn't need - or want - a father.

If only Sasuke would come home to stay ...

 _Would that really be enough now though?_ Inner Sakura asked bluntly.  _It's not like Sasuke is the easiest person to develop a relationship with, and they'll essentially be starting from scratch, whereas she already has a relationship with Kakashi._

 _A girl deserves a relationship with her **father**_ , Sakura thought firmly.  _And why are we talking about Kakashi as if he's actually comparable to a father to her?_

Inner Sakura gave her a flat look.  _Do I really have to answer that?_

 _Kakashi is Kakashi,_ Sakura retorted with a blush (of anger, she told herself).  _He's not Sarada's father._

 _He's been more of one than her biological father has ..._ Inner Sakura pointed out snidely.  _And she trusts him._

Sakura glowered.  _We just need Sasuke to stay, so she can get to know him. She'll trust him too once they've spent some time together._

Inner Sakura was clearly becoming frustrated, as she raised her imaginary voice and started pulling at her imaginary hair.  _How can you possibly believe he's ever actually going to stay? Are you really that stupid?_

 _He'll understand why it's important if I just talk to him about it,_ Sakura insisted with a frown.

 _Oh, you mean, like he has all those other times you've brought it up?_ Inner Sakura sneered.

 _Shut. Up._ Sakura growled.  _Just shut. Up. These are the choices I've made._

 _Yeah, well, it's not too late to change things,_ Inner Sakura grumbled.

Sakura threw up her fists angrily.  _Shut up already! You are the bane of my existence, and I would yank you out of my head if I thought there were a way to do it without killing myself ... These are the choices I've made; they're the **right** ones, and you're just going to have to accept that. If you can't, then you can go back to whatever miserable corner of my mind you were hiding in for so many years and Fuck. Off._

 _Tsk tsk, Sakura-chan ... such language is unbecoming of the wife of an Uchiha,_ Inner Sakura taunted.

Inner Sakura was spared strangulation only because of the sudden appearance of a bewhiskered face about six inches from Sakura's own. A pair of bright blue eyes smiled at her. "Sakura-chan! Why are you just sitting out here all by yourself?"

Sakura looked around as if just realizing where she was and supposed it was a legitimate question ...

 _Though not one that would have been posed to Kakashi,_ Inner Sakura interjected.

 _Will you stop thinking about that man for one bloody second!_ Sakura screamed mentally.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto's face had gotten closer while Sakura was yelling at her inner self.

She sighed, leaning her head back against the trunk of the tree amidst whose branches she currently rested. "I was just thinking, Naruto. Communing with nature and all that." She waved a hand dismissively.

Naruto looked concerned. "I think you've been spending too much time with Kaka-sensei, Sakura-chan ..." he said.

"Will everyone please quit talking about Kakashi?!" Sakura shouted, jumping out of the tree. "And for god's sake, Naruto, he was only our teacher for like a year ... Stop calling him 'sensei'!"

Naruto looked at her from the branch he was still perched on, blinking owlishly, completely bewildered. "Who else is talking about Kaka-sensei, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura clenched her fists and tried to calm her temper. "Nevermind, Naruto. What do you want?"

He hopped down to stand beside her. "I just wanted to see if you were coming out to grab drinks with us tonight," he smiled.

At that moment, Sakura thought a drink sounded amazing. "Sure. What time are you guys meeting up?" she asked.

"Mm ... probably around 9. Hinata doesn't want to be out too late tonight," he replied.

Sakura nodded. "Okay, I'll see you then."

"Awesome!" Naruto beamed, then darted away.

 

Sakura was drunk. There was no better way to describe her current state ... but plenty of worse ones.

"Juished. Three sheetsss to th' wind. Ssshlosh ... er, sloshhhed ..." she muttered as she made her way home.

 _Blitzed. Tanked. Smashed._ Inner Sakura contributed helpfully.  _Boozy. Liquored up._

"S'right ... Wasssted ... Tank - hic - tanked ..."

"Sakura-chan, what are you doing?"

Sakura stopped walking to stand rather unsteadily as she squinted to make out Kakashi's masked face in the dim glow of the streetlights.

"'Kashi?" she asked, wobbling a little. "What're y - hic - you doin' here? Aren'tchu sposed t' be in Ame, gettin' rain - hic - rained on?" Snickering drunkenly at a mental image of Kakashi sitting out in a downpour like an oversized wet dog, she had to catch herself on the lamppost to keep from falling off the sidewalk.

Her other side was immediately steadied by his arm locking with hers. She automatically leaned against him and giggled.

"Come on, let's get you home," he sighed.

He made a mental note to chew out all of their friends for letting her walk home alone in this condition, though he suspected she probably hadn't given them much choice ... her drunken fists might not have been as stellar as Lee's, but they were nothing to be scoffed at. Especially when she was too drunk to properly control her chakra ...

Keeping his arm around hers, he helped her make it back to her house without falling on her ass. By the time they arrived, she had almost passed out.

He opened the door and directed her inside to her bedroom, where he sat her down on her bed and began taking off her shoes. She managed to sit up for all of a minute before she flopped backward with a hiccup and a giggle.

"'Kashi, that tickles," she complained, but her voice was smiling as she squirmed when he went to remove her socks.

Having finally dispensed with her shoes and socks, he lifted her up to rest her head on her pillow and pulled the covers over her. Her eyes closed, and she hummed as he swept away a stray lock of hair from her forehead.

"You're going to feel horrible tomorrow, you silly woman," he murmured affectionately, watching her drift off to sleep.

With one last brush of his fingers over her cheek, he turned to leave, but her voice stopped him. Half-asleep, she raised her head a bit to look at him. "'Kashi ... stay. Don't wanna be alone."

He was dumbfounded, and although he knew she wasn't talking about sex, he couldn't keep a tingling heat from spreading throughout his body at her words. Staring wide-eyed at her and wrestling with himself, he gently told her that he couldn't. "I want to, Sakura, more than anything, but I don't want you to hate me in the morning or have any regrets."

She just let her head fall back and rolled onto to her side. "N' regrets. Won't hate chu. Come lay with me, 'Kashi," she mumbled half into her pillow.

Kakashi was lost ... he couldn't find it in himself to refuse her when she asked like that. Besides, he could always leave in the morning before she woke up, and maybe she'd forget it or think it was a dream ... right?

Taking off his flak vest, hitai-ate, mask, and shoes, he climbed into the bed beside her, staying above the blankets. Once settled, he crossed his hands behind his head and laid back on the pillow, facing the ceiling.

He really wasn't sure what he was doing. He didn't want to push things like he had in the hospital, but the thought of sleeping next to her, and at her request no less, was nigh irresistible.

... And then she turned onto her other side and draped an arm across him while nuzzling her head into that little dip between his chest and his shoulder. He froze.

"Smell good, 'Kashi. D'I ever tell you tha'?" she said, moving her head in closer and breathing in deeply.

His cock couldn't help but stir at her movements, and the idea that she liked the way he smelled made his heart skip a beat. His fingers fairly itched with the need to touch her ... He wanted to roll her over and pin her down while he kissed her more thoroughly than she'd ever been kissed before. He wanted to run his hands all over her body and follow those paths with his tongue until he brought her to orgasm.

And then he wanted to slide his cock into her inch by inch, watching her green eyes cloud with pleasure as he filled her, keeping his pace slow until she was begging him to go faster and harder and deeper.

He groaned quietly. She was torturing him with her soft breaths warming his chest and her fingers clutching lightly at his shirt below his collarbone. If he allowed himself, he could even feel her breasts pressed against his side.

Needing to relieve at least some of the desire he was feeling, he let his arm down to wrap loosely around her back, and he couldn't believe how perfect she felt as she snuggled closer. He half-wished this moment could last forever ...

But his thoughts were interrupted when she spoke suddenly. "Mmhm. Stay like this. But no kissing, 'Kashi ... can't kiss you." Her grip tightened on his shirt and her forehead wrinkled as she sighed softly. "Even 'f I might want to ... Can't kiss you ..."

She really was torturing him. At her words and the memory of the exam room that they evoked, his breathing grew shallow. He was fully erect now, and he didn't know how he was going to get it to go down with her so close to him.

He was tempted to get up and go to the bathroom to take care of himself, but he didn't want to leave her when she had asked him to stay. This was the woman he loved; he had to control his sex drive when he was around her if he ever wanted to have a chance with her. He'd already lost control once; he didn't want to add jacking off in her bathroom while she slept in the next room to the mix.

He'd just have to force himself to go to sleep and be happy that she was allowing this much.

With a belabored sigh, he began concentrating on her steady breathing, trying to match his to hers, until eventually his erection faded, and he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: A smidge limey. This story is going to start earning its M rating soon, so those of you who don't enjoy that sort of thing, beware.


	12. Chapter 12

The first thing that Sakura noticed when she awoke the next morning was that her stomach was churning.

The second thing that she noticed was that her head was pounding.

Staying on her side to avoid upsetting her stomach any further, she began channeling chakra to the two problem areas to relieve her hangover. A couple of minutes later, no longer feeling like she was about to throw up while Gamabunta's grandkids used her head as a practice launching pad, Sakura took a moment to bless Tsunade-shishou for teaching her how to get rid of the aftereffects of overindulging in sake … and then she took a moment to curse her for introducing her to the stuff in the first place.

It was at the end of her brief but colorful mental malediction that Sakura noticed a third thing … there was a man's hand on her hip. With this realization, her stomach began churning again, but this time, it was more in a butterfly-swarm sort of way than an about-to-be-sick sort of way.

Although she was afraid to confirm her suspicions regarding the owner of the hand, Sakura slowly, hesitantly opened her eyes to find a pair of grey ones looking back at her. She immediately squeezed her eyes shut again, hoping irrationally that the next time she opened them, she would see only a pillow as usual. However, the knowledge that she would have no such luck set her heart racing in a strange mix of despair and anticipation, and Inner Sakura insisted on pointing out that the place on her hip where his hand rested was tingling in a not-entirely-unpleasant fashion.

"Sakura … I know you're awake," the deep voice in front of her said bluntly.

Opening one eye, then the other, Sakura met Kakashi's familiar gaze. Though he was hiding it well, his eyes, which were made more slate grey than charcoal by the soft morning light, conveyed uncertainty, and she could tell that his muscles were tensed, as if he were preparing to run at a moment's notice. Despite this, however, he remained in the bed, on his side, facing her, his hand still on her hip. He seemed to be waiting for her to make a move.

Perhaps it was the lingering effects of the hangover or perhaps it was that she wasn't quite awake yet, Sakura wasn't sure, but even with her heart racing, she didn't feel like she was about to hyperventilate, and she didn't have an urge to fly out of the bed and get as far away from him as possible. In fact, she found herself saying the first thing that came to mind: "Hi."

"Hi," he replied, the corners of his eyes creasing upward briefly in a subtle form of his usual smile.

For some reason, she couldn't stop a genuine smile of her own from gracing her lips. She knew that she should be freaking out, and she figured that she would sooner or later, but for the moment, she just lay there, feeling warm and fuzzy as she stared at the handsome silver-haired man.

"How did your speech go?" she asked, eyes still locked with his.

"Mmm," he began, glancing toward the headboard, "Well, I didn't start a war …"

She shook her head at him, lip quirked in exasperated amusement. "I'm glad to hear it," she said with an affectionate eye-roll.

On some level, Sakura was aware that it should have felt weirder to be carrying on a conversation with Kakashi as if it were normal to be lying in bed with her former teacher … Even if they hadn't done anything sexual the night before, even if he were on top of the covers while she was under them, even if their bodies touched in only one (relatively) innocent place, no one, least of all Sasuke, would be okay with the situation.

But she couldn't find it within herself to get up.

"Thank you," she said suddenly.

His brows furrowed slightly. "For what?"

"For helping me get home last night … and for staying when I asked," she explained quietly. He looked surprised. "No, I don't remember everything, but I do remember that, so … thank you," she said, then blushed lightly and looked down.

Immediately, she felt his hand leave her hip to hold her chin up with the gentle press of two fingers. She met his eyes, blush deepening at the warmth she saw there. The blush wasn't helped by the half-tender, half-mischievous smirk he gave her. "You're welcome," he replied, brushing his fingers along her jawline and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear before returning his hand to her hip.

She knew that she should ask him to remove it … hell, she knew that she should get out of bed and ask him to leave.

But she didn't.

And she could tell that he noticed that she didn't when his gaze traveled down to her mouth and his grip tightened against the small of her back.

"Kakashi," she breathed, voice almost a whisper.

"Hmm?" he murmured, looking up at her with a new heat in his eyes, and she was reminded of the bathroom hallway at the pub, the way his nose had nudged hers while his lips hovered less than a centimeter from hers.

At the recollection, she found her own gaze drifting down to his mouth, and the wave of desire that burned through her abdomen made her breath catch. Her mind was flooded with memories of his lips against hers, his arms holding her tightly to his chest, his hard length rubbing right where she'd needed it as she'd rolled against him in the exam room ...

When she managed to tear free of the flashbacks that threatened to overwhelm her, she found that somehow they were closer than they had been before, that somehow his gaze was hotter than before, and that her body couldn't help responding to the nearness of his with a need that was becoming familiar.

It was the sudden recognition that this lust for him was starting to seem almost normal that finally cooled her down. She sighed deeply and lifted his hand off of her hip to place it on the bed between them. When she brought her eyes to his, she knew that he understood.

"I'm sorry … I can't," she said quietly. She didn't want to contemplate the meaning of the aching emptiness that filled her as she spoke.

He closed his eyes momentarily, as if he were in pain, before letting out a long breath of his own and opening them again. "I know," he replied. He lifted his hand to trace a line from her forehead down to her jaw until he was cupping her head.

"I know," he repeated, running his thumb and his gaze across her lower lip before letting her go and standing up.

Once on his feet, he turned to give her a small, regretful smile that made a lump form in her throat, and she realized that she was fighting back tears when he said, voice low, "I'll see you later, Sakura-chan."

 

After he was gone, she stopped trying not to cry and buried her head in her pillow, muted sobs wracking her body. She refused to think about why his leaving had made her so upset, but she couldn't help the tears that poured from her eyes, nor could she help the need to clench the pillow so tightly her hands began to cramp. She simply wept until she couldn't any longer, then got out of bed to shower and go to work, her mind and her heart numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: More angst. Sorry to everyone waiting for the smut, but I feel that this situation, with these two personalities, just can't be rushed. Fear not, though, there will be smut. Lots of it, because I love smut. Just no smut yet.
> 
> Also, for those of you wondering about Sasuke, yes, he will be putting in an appearance eventually; he's the unavoidable for our two heroes. To the one reader concerned that I might make Sasuke a cheater ... I won't be. Personally, while I don't like the guy, I can't see him trusting anyone else enough to do that, and I suppose he does have some sort of twisted sense of honor/loyalty. Besides, making him a completely heartless guy would be too easy, right?


	13. Chapter 13

Sakura's kitchen table was covered with papers and folders and notebooks, and she was sitting in one of the chairs, hair tied up messily, tapping a pen against her mouth as she reviewed the latest set of research results for one of her poison projects, when Sarada walked in.

"Mom, guess what?" the dark-haired genin asked excitedly, a wide smile on her face.

Sakura returned the smile. "What?"

"I've got a natural affinity for fire chakra! Kakashi-sama showed me how to figure it out using this random piece of paper … It was so cool!" After a brief pause, Sarada frowned, then grumbled, "But he sucks … he can use all five."

Though she was surprised to learn that her daughter had been spending time with Kakashi (whom she had been doing her best to forget about) in the handful of days since he'd gotten back from Ame, Sakura had to stifle a grin at her daughter's obvious jealousy. "Well, he is one of the strongest ninja pretty much ever, I suppose," she allowed, trying to remain purely objective regarding her one-time bedmate.

Sarada's frown deepened. "He still sucks."

Despite doing her best to keep her feelings out of the discussion, Sakura couldn't help but giggle at her daughter's salty expression; she was all too aware of the innumerable ways that man could get under someone's skin, some of them intentional (like things she was not allowed to think about) and some not (like being a prodigy). "I know I should warn you not to speak about a former Hokage like that, but you're not entirely wrong, so I'll let it slide this time. I bet he neglected to tell you that some people are able to obtain additional chakra transformations through training, right?"

"Seriously? Argh … he drives me crazy!" Sarada growled, very nearly stamping her foot in exasperation. "He didn't say anything about that! … Jerk."

Sakura commiserated. "Doesn't surprise me," she said. "But it's true … even our genius former Hokage wasn't born with an affinity for all five chakra natures; originally, he was only able to use lightning. It wasn't until he started collecting every jutsu known to man that he became adept at the other four."

"Well, then I'm going to make him teach me how to use the other ones too!" Sarada vowed, fist raised and eyes so fiery with determination that Sakura almost felt sorry for her old sensei.

After a few moments, Sarada's excitement seemed to calm down, and she lowered her fist, then perched on the edge of one of the other chairs. "Kakashi-sama's the one who taught Dad how to use lightning chakra, isn't he?" she asked curiously, fiddling with the corner of a piece of paper.

Unbidden, the memory of Sasuke's face lit up by his Chidori as he charged at her flashed across Sakura's mind, and her heart twisted sharply.

Recalling almost being killed by her now-husband and witnessing the look in Kakashi's eyes when, after saving her, he told her that killing Sasuke was  _his_  responsibility, not hers, caused a pain that must have shown on her face, because the next thing Sakura knew, her daughter was shaking her shoulder and calling, "Mom!"

Snapping back to the present, Sakura patted her daughter's hand reassuringly. "I'm sorry, Sarada-chan. I seemed to have zoned out there for a minute. What were you saying?"

Sarada scanned her mother's face with no small amount of suspicion and concern. "Are you sure you're okay? That was pretty weird, Mom …"

Sakura nodded, managing a crinkly-eyed smile. "I'm fine … I just thought about something I forgot to put away at the lab. It's not the sort of thing I should have left lying about."

"Ooookay …" Sarada replied, not entirely convinced. "If you say so."

"I do say so," Sakura confirmed. "Now what would you like for dinner tonight?"

* * *

 

_Mid-chapter omake_

Two days later, Sakura came home from the hospital to find a large crater with a rim of scorched grass in her backyard.

"Ka-ka-shiiiii!" she shouted angrily at the sky.

(In a tree on the other side of the village and for no apparent reason, given that it was a lovely summer day, Kakashi felt chills run up and down his spine.)

_/end._

* * *

 

It had been a week since Sakura had awoken next to Kakashi, and though she hadn't seen him in the meantime, she'd heard plenty about him from her daughter, who had apparently been training with him every day since discovering her chakra affinity and had already mastered Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu under his tutelage (to the detriment of Sakura's landscaping).

While it did mean that she had greater difficulty keeping the silver-haired nin off her mind, Sarada's recounting of her training sessions helped move Kakashi back toward the more familiar territory of "teacher" and away from the very, _very_  unfamiliar territory of "attractive man" that he had been occupying for the better part of two months. She'd actually started thinking that his lessons were killing multiple birds with one stone … Sarada got a regular adult male presence in her life and the opportunity to learn new skills, and Sakura got to stop thinking about Kakashi naked.

… Er,  _Inner_  Sakura got to stop thinking about Kakashi naked. And  _Sakura_  got to stop thinking about that warm, fuzzy feeling she had when she opened her eyes to find him looking back at her from the pillow beside her.

In any case, between not seeing him and listening to Sarada's stories, Sakura had finally started to push the unwanted thoughts about Kakashi out of her mind, and her day-to-day life was much more peaceful for it.

Which was why she was currently hosting a butterfly field day in her stomach.

It was Kiba's birthday, and she knew that she was going to see Kakashi when they all met up at the pub to celebrate that night. She wanted to have confidence that her newfound ability to think of him as Familiar Kakashi when he _wasn't_ around would translate into the ability to think of him as Familiar Kakashi when he  _was_ , but she had a sneaking suspicion that that wasn't going to happen, considering the effect the mere  _idea_ of seeing him was having on her.

She sighed as she finished fixing her hair. Some things couldn't be helped, she supposed. She'd have to see him sooner or later, so why not tonight?

The butterflies belied her resolve by performing a synchronized somersault when she opened her front door, but she did her best to hinder any further acrobatic efforts on their part and was largely successful for the duration of her walk to the pub.

However, the minute she came within a few feet of the entrance, the butterflies turned into Chouji-on-a-red-chili-pill butterflies, and there was no hope of quelling their frenzy. Hand shaking lightly, she reached for the door ... only to have that damned arm of his come out of nowhere to snake around her to open it instead.

And thus she discovered that irritation was the key to calming extra-strength butterflies …

"How many times are you planning on sneaking up behind me like that, Ka-ka-shi?" she asked, throwing an annoyed look at him from over her shoulder.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sakura-chan," he replied with his usual smile before pulling the door open wider and placing his other hand on her hip. Startled, she quickly turned her head back to the entryway but found that she couldn't move forward.

Inner Sakura insisted that it wasn't that she  _couldn't_ move forward but that she didn't  _want_  to move forward, that really she was waiting for-

"Are we going to stand out here all night?" he murmured into her ear.

That. She was waiting for that, the sound of his voice low and dark and intimate and the brush of his masked lips against her ear.

Sakura tried not to lean into him while she told Inner Sakura that she was full of shit. She was definitely  _not_ waiting for that.

"I mean, I don't mind," he continued slowly, "... at all." She felt him shorten the distance between them, but not enough that his chest touched her back.

 _Sadly,_  Inner Sakura sighed.

Sakura swatted at her half-heartedly, but she still didn't step away from him. In fact, she was beginning to suspect that her inner self was right … there was some part of her that had been waiting for him to talk to her the way he had in her kitchen and then again in her office.

That part of her was not disappointed; his voice dropped even lower, and his lips moved just a bit closer to her ear as he finished, "But I think everyone else would prefer that we joined the party …"

With that, he gave her a small push that had her stumbling through the door. Whatever heat she had been feeling was immediately washed away by the reminder that he was the most infuriating person ever. She regained her footing and shot him a glare. "I hate you."

His mouth lifted into an amused smirk as he nodded, "I know."

She felt herself flush, and the corner of his mouth reciprocated by lifting a little higher before he turned to find the group.

Watching him walk away, her cheeks burning, she decided that what she  _really_ hated right then was that his response made her want to …

 _Feel that smirk against your lips?_  Inner Sakura suggested.

 _Shut up._  Sakura muttered, grumpily following the path Kakashi had taken.

 

 

Sakura was scowling at the bottle in her hands and pointedly ignoring the body heat of the person sitting to her right. She wasn't quite sure how he'd orchestrated it, but she was positive that Kakashi was behind the fact that she was stuck in a booth between him and Ino, unable to escape his annoyingly appealing scent without making a spectacle of herself … as it was, she'd already scooted as far away from him as she could without plastering herself to her blonde friend's side.

Her scowl deepened, and she took a sip from her beer.

"Something wrong, Sakura-chan?" she heard him ask quietly as he raised his own drink to his lips.

She knew he hadn't turned to face her, but she could feel him studying her out of the corner of his eye. "No," she replied curtly under her breath, shifting her gaze from her beer bottle to Kiba and Shino, who were conversing across the table. She pretended to be paying attention to their discussion, but really she didn't hear a word they said; she was too busy trying to get Inner Sakura to stop thinking about how good Kakashi would feel pressed up against her.

"You know, Sakura-chan, you're a really bad liar," the former Hokage observed, still not looking directly at her. His voice was just low enough that anyone else would have had to strain to hear it.

Sakura decided not to dignify his comment with a response.

Kakashi didn't say anything for a few minutes, and Sakura had just started thinking that maybe he would leave her alone when he shifted to procure his favorite orange novel from the pouch on his leg, bumping the knee of his other leg into her knee in the process. Once he had the book in his hand, he slouched against the back of the booth and relaxed his posture such that a good part of the length of his thigh ended up resting on hers.

While Sakura outwardly stiffened, Inner Sakura was getting pissed off.

 _Are you seriously going to let him control everything?_ she asked, holding up a fist in protest.  _He's knocking you off guard every chance he has. It's pathetic._

And really it was, Sakura thought, starting to get a little angry herself.

Deciding not to let Kakashi dominate their interactions anymore, Sakura leaned back so that her elbow touched his, and she was pleased to see that his arm tensed, though only for a millisecond, at the contact.

"Conversation boring you, Ka-ka-shi?" she teased, taking up her beer with her right hand, causing her arm to brush against his. She gave him a sidelong glance.

Kakashi shot her a look that was at once surprised and amused. He seemed to know exactly what she was doing, and she got the distinct sense that he was thoroughly enjoying it. While one part of her wanted to back down, afraid of the consequences of challenging the notoriously difficult-to-ruffle Copy Ninja in a battle that involved her greatest weakness of late (i.e., touching him), the rest of her, led by a fired-up Inner Sakura, refused to submit.

Her determination must have shown in her eyes, because his mouth broke into a wicked smirk. "Well, you were ignoring me, Sakura-chan," he said with an accusatory eyebrow raise as he lowered his book to set it on the edge of the table.

Sakura could feel his bicep flexing against her arm as he moved. She did her best to ignore it. "There are other people you could talk to, you know," she pointed out.

"Hmm, I suppose there are," he allowed, catching her gaze. "But they're much less ... entertaining ..." His eyes deliberately flickered down to her lips before he picked up his book again, holding it close to his face with his right hand.

Sakura huffed and sat back up, elbows on the table. "Well, I must not be very interesting either, since you seem to prefer  _Icha Icha_  to me," she groused playfully.

When he responded, still leaning against the back of the booth, his voice was much darker than it had been. "Haven't you learned yet,  _Sa-ku-ra_ ," he said slowly, "... that I often use this book as a diversionary tactic?"

Suddenly filled with nervous anticipation, Sakura unconsciously put her thumb to her lips. She had a feeling that they were about to enter dangerous territory, but somehow, for reasons she couldn't fathom, she found herself continuing the conversation anyway, asking him quietly, "And what are you using it to divert attention from now?"

"I wonder," he murmured, turning a page.

Sakura just barely managed to keep herself from banging her head against the table. "You're impossible," she sighed.

He hummed in agreement. "... Do you really want to know, Sakura-chan?"

_No._

"Yes," she whispered, heartbeat speeding up.

He didn't say anything for a moment, just turned another page. She wanted to strangle him.

"Right now," he said finally, "I'm using it to divert my own attention from the fact that I  _really_  like the way your thigh feels against mine ..."

Her breath caught at his bluntness, and the temperature in the room seemed to rise.

"But I  _could_  be using it instead to make everyone think that I'm not paying attention to anything ..."

He trailed off.

"And why would you want to do that?" Sakura pressed softly when it became clear that he wasn't going to elaborate.

She had taken her thumb from her lips and replaced it with her beer as she spoke in hopes that no one would notice that she was talking to him; the last thing she needed was someone questioning why a conversation with Kakashi was making her blush.

He flipped another page over before answering, "When people think you're not paying attention, they stop paying attention to you ..." He paused to flash her a devious grin. "... and then you can get away with all sorts of things."

Sakura was going to hell. She was going to hell, and she knew it even before the "Like what?" slipped through her lips.

Kakashi was silent for a moment. Then, his voice very low: "Do you want me to show you, Sakura?"

Her heart skipped a beat as a shock of desire ran through her. It was almost like an out-of-body experience ... She couldn't quite believe that this was really happening, that she was really about to tell  _Kakashi_  that she wanted him to do something that she  _knew_  wouldn't be appropriate.

But it was, and she was.

"Yes," she replied, against her better judgment.

When he spoke next, his voice was deeper than she had ever heard it before.

"Put your right hand on your lap, palm up," he ordered.

She almost closed her eyes at the way his quiet command made heat flare between her legs, and she couldn't help but obey; she took her arm from the table, trying to make it look as natural as possible so as not to draw the attention of anyone else, and set it on her right thigh, then flipped it over.

After a breath, she felt his fingertips ghosting slowly down her forearm.

They traveled languidly from the crook of her elbow past the underside of her wrist, goosebumps arising in their wake, and then they trailed over the palm of her hand, where his fingers straightened before tracing a path, index finger atop index finger, ring finger atop ring finger, until his large hand lightly covered hers.

He paused there for only a moment, though, before sliding his fingers back down hers, back over the palm of her hand, and back up to her elbow, where they finally dropped off and returned to his lap.

Sakura's mouth ran dry. He had barely touched her, it had barely lasted a minute, yet it was somehow one of the most erotic experiences of her life. With that single act, he had her so turned on that she suspected that he could probably make her come with just one rub of his finger over her panties.

At the mental image of him reaching over with that same hand to dip below the skirt of her sundress and press against the part of her body that craved his touch the most, the desire that had been building within her the whole evening reached a fever pitch, so close to overwhelming all of her senses that what she had felt in the exam room paled in comparison.

"Kakashi-" she whispered, voice husky.

"Yes, Sakura?" he replied quietly.

Not fully aware of what she was doing, her mind clouded with need, Sakura allowed her hand to drift down to his knee. She felt the fabric of his pants beneath her fingers and the corded muscles of his thigh beneath his pants as she hesitantly reached over his knee to the inside of his leg ...

And then his own fingers were wandering slowly across the back of her hand and tucking under her palm before slipping between hers.

Sakura's heart stopped. As they sat there, hand-in-hand, under the radar of a table full of their friends, she really wasn't sure what she ... what  _they_  ... were doing, and it frightened her as much as it excited her.

She was frightened of the giddiness she felt, and she was afraid of the intense desire for him that was sweeping through her.

She was worried that someone else at the table would notice her flushed cheeks or that they were sitting a little closer together than they should be.

And she was terrified by the fact that Sasuke seemed to almost disappear from her mind whenever she was around Kakashi.

Thankfully, the waiter stopped by a moment later, giving her the opportunity extricate her hand from Kakashi's while she tried to sort out her feelings. She knew that she had to stop whatever this was before it went any further, but a part of her (that was only growing larger, it seemed) wanted to link their fingers back together as soon as she accepted her new beer from the waiter.

His hand had felt so ... right ... wrapped around hers. She didn't understand it ...

But either way, this was trouble.  _He_ was trouble.

 _And you love it,_ Inner Sakura cut in.

Sakura sighed. She really wanted to disagree. This wasn't who she was. She wasn't the kind of woman who wanted a man who wasn't her husband.

_And yet you do. You want him._

Sakura sighed again. Yes, she wanted him. It would be silly to deny it anymore. Even now, she wanted to lean back into his arms and breathe in his scent, feel his strong body against hers, let him run his hands over more places than just her forearm.

But it wasn't right. She was married.

That strange aching emptiness from the other morning was back.

She couldn't help but wonder: what would it be like to be with him? Not just sexually, but fully. To go to sleep with him and wake up with him more days than not. To have him around to help with the house and Sarada.

Her heart clenched.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be Sasuke.

 _But Sasuke hasn't been here for years, not really,_ Inner Sakura said.

 _That doesn't make it okay,_ Sakura replied sadly.

_No, it doesn't. But you deserve better._

Sakura was quiet.

 

It seemed that everyone had been finishing up their drinks while Sakura was talking with herself. As people started to leave, Kakashi held out his hand to help her get up from the booth. She accepted, and their eyes met as she stood, a familiar heat passing between them. They took a bit longer than was strictly necessary to let their hands fall to their respective sides.

Sakura broke eye contact first and moved ahead of him to the door.

When they got outside, she took a deep breath. "Ah, it feels so nice out here ... it was getting hot in there."

"Mm," he agreed, a small smile on his lips.

She noticed it as she glanced over and blushed. They both knew why it had been so warm in the pub.

After they had waved good-bye to their friends, Kakashi stuck his hands in his pockets and began strolling in the direction of her house. "I'll walk you home," he said.

Sakura quickly caught up with him. "Oh no, you won't," she objected.

"And why not, Sakura-chan? Isn't that what a gentleman is supposed to do, walk a beautiful woman home after a night out?" he asked innocently, not slowing his pace.

Sakura's blush returned, but she managed to keep her voice serious. "First of all, Kakashi, I could throw you into your own face on Hokage Mountain from here if I wanted to; I'm not some damsel in distress."

The look he gave her in response made her think that not only was he was very aware of this fact, he was turned on by it.

She scowled, ignoring her body's pleasurable reaction to that knowledge, and continued: "And second … you, sir, are not a gentleman."

He looked wounded. "Of course I am, Sakura-chan."

"No, you're not," she insisted. "Gentlemen don't do the things you do."

"What? Walk beautiful women home, even if they don't need it? I think that's pretty gentlemanly," Kakashi pouted self-righteously.

"Not that …" Sakura argued, voice getting a little softer. "All those … other things ..." Her blush spread.

Kakashi's pout slid into a mischievous grin. "And what things are those, Sakura-chan?" he asked slyly.

Sakura stuttered. "Well, you know ... things ..."

"'Things' ... " Kakashi mused. "I don't think that's a very strong argument."

"I hate you," she grumbled, falling a little behind.

"You know, Sakura-chan," Kakashi said, voice still light. "I don't think that's true at all."

He turned so that he was walking backwards in front of her and locked his gaze with hers. "I think you like me very much."

Her body was flooded with heat at his claim, and she knew her cheeks were flushing a deep red.

"No, I don't," she protested weakly. "Who would like you? You're lazy and perverted and-"

"Handsome and caring-"

At that moment, the sky lit up with a streak of lightning, followed seconds later by a crack of thunder.

"Oh no," Sakura said just before the downpour began.

The two ninja instinctively ran for cover under the nearest tree, several yards from the street where they had been.

Once protected by its leafy canopy, Sakura slumped back against the tree trunk, laughing as water dripped from her hair down her neck. "Well, that was unexpected ... I didn't see rain in the forecast for tonight."

Kakashi, appreciating the way her green dress stuck to her wet skin, opted not to tell her that he had smelled the storm coming even before he had arrived at the pub earlier.

Instead, he just nodded, "Ah."

When the excitement of running from the rain faded, Sakura became acutely aware that Kakashi was standing only about a foot and a half from her.

As the storm continued around them, she looked up at him and noticed that he had lowered his mask. A few drops of water were still falling from the tips of his spiky hair. His shirt had gotten wet and was clinging to his chest, and even through the darkness she could see the outline of his pecs, his abs ...

He really was an attractive man, and he was right there, within her reach.

Sakura was finding it suddenly difficult to breathe, and the way he was watching her wasn't helping. She saw his gaze trail over her face, then dart briefly to her chest and back up to meet her own. She could see in those dark eyes that he wanted her, and it made her body stir in confusing, delicious ways.

"How do you do this to me?" she whispered, mouth dry. Rain pattered on the leaves above her head.

He stepped closer, and the need within her increased. "Do what?" he asked, his voice deep.

"This …" She waved a hand helplessly. "Make me  _want_  you," she said. "...  _so much_."

The next moment, she felt one warm, warm hand slide over her hip while the other reached behind her neck and tilted her head back. She resolutely kept her eyes focused on his chest.

"Look at me," he said, his thumb brushing her jaw below her ear.

Finally, Sakura raised her eyes to his and found herself caught. The heat in his grey depths pushed all reason out of her mind, and she semi-consciously ran her hand slowly from his chest down to the middle of his abdomen, where she gripped the fabric of his shirt in her fist.

She wasn't sure if she pulled him closer or if he pulled himself closer, but the next thing she knew, his body was pressed against hers, her hand trapped between them, and his mouth was inches from her lips. She moved her trapped hand around to his lower back and allowed the other to travel up to the bicep of the arm wrapped around her waist.

She watched his eyes grow darker.

"Sakura," he murmured. "I'm going to kiss you if you don't stop me."

His words and the sensation of his breath on her lips sent desire burning through her, and she knew she was lost.

She let her eyes drop to his mouth before sliding shut. "Don't stop," she said, so softly the rain almost drowned it out.

But he heard.

And his reaction was instantaneous. Tilting her head even further back, he melded his mouth with hers, the kiss somehow both slow and urgent. He pushed her gently against the trunk of the tree and eased his hand from her head down to the curve of her hip to hold her body close to his.

As he dipped his tongue between her lips, she moved her arms to wrap around his neck and stood on her toes ... and then they were chest to chest. She could feel her breasts sliding across his muscles, her nipples hardening, and she moaned into his mouth.

At the sound, he groaned and deepened the kiss, tracing his hand from her waist, down her thigh to the hem of her dress before slipping his fingers under it and dragging them-and the dress-up as he lifted her leg and hooked it over his hip to press himself more fully against her.

The shock of the cool air on her now-bared leg and the feeling his erection at her core forced a gasp out of Sakura, her lips separating from his as she leaned her head back. "Oh god," she breathed.

He began rocking into her in a steady rhythm as he licked and kissed his way down the side of her neck before pausing partway to suck her flesh into his mouth. When he stopped sucking to bite her gently, timing the nip with a hard roll of his hips, she inhaled sharply, feeling herself growing even wetter. One hand slid down his back until she was gripping his ass, while the other buried its fingers in his hair.

She planted a series of kisses along his stubbled jaw as they moved together, his hard length rubbing against her clit, and his quiet groans into her ear had her trying to pull him even closer. She wondered if they would be louder if there weren't clothes between them, if he were actually inside her, sliding in and out instead of just over.

She wondered how dark his voice would be against her ear when he came ...

When he slipped a hand between her legs, she thought she might collapse. Her eyes were tightly shut, and her breathing was ragged as he slowed the motion of his hips and curled his fingers under the dress covering her from him. She felt his feather-light touch on her inner thigh, flitting along the line of her panties, and it made her vaginal walls pulse, trying to grab onto something that wasn't there.

Finger still teasing the skin at the line of fabric, he took his mouth from her neck. "Look at me," he said, his voice gruff.

She automatically opened her eyes at the command. When they met his, he held her gaze for a moment, not moving, then slowly rubbed a single finger up her slit to the top of her underwear. Her eyes slid closed at the sensation. She knew he could feel how wet she was; her panties had to be soaked, but rather than embarrass her, the thought seemed to only fuel her desire, and she bucked her hips in a silent plea for him to continue what he'd started.

Ignoring her request, he kissed her, tugging on her lower lip before pulling back. "Look at me," he repeated. "I want to see you when I touch you."

She had never been so turned on in her life.

The second she caught his hooded gaze with her own again, he dipped his hand inside her panties and pressed two fingers against her clit. She couldn't help but cry out, and though it was unlikely that anyone would hear them over the storm, he covered her mouth with his, swallowing her moans as he began stroking her, letting the tip of a finger duck into her entrance every so often.

Feeling her responding to his touch as she did had his hand tightening its grip on her thigh, and he increased the intensity of the kiss, tangling his tongue with hers, his own need threatening to take over. Her heat … her wetness … god, his fingers were so slick with it … He wanted nothing more than to plunge his cock inside of her and feel her walls fluttering around him until she came, taking him with her.

He was painfully hard.

However, he knew he would have to settle for this for now. Lifting his mouth from hers, he watched her face. Her lips were parted, her cheeks were flushed, and he could see her brow furrow deeper with each caress of his fingers over her sex. Her breathing was uneven, and she was beautiful.

He wanted her … badly.

Needing to see her come, he roughly thrust two fingers into her, and she threw her head back with a sharp gasp. He felt her grow wetter, her fluids dripping down his hand.

"Kakashi …"

His name said in her desperate voice was his undoing. He began thrusting faster, curling his fingers toward himself with each pump, as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. When her breath started catching and her hand clutched harder at his ass, he knew she was ready.

Tipping his head forward, he nipped at her ear. "Come, Sakura. Come  _now_ ," he ordered, voice low, then leaned back and rubbed his thumb against her clit while he stroked her g-spot and watched her fall apart.

When she came, Sakura saw stars. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't do anything but feel herself ripple around his strong fingers, feel her orgasm gush out of her onto his hand.

And still he didn't stop. He kept dipping his fingers in and out, kept circling his thumb around her clit. His movements were slower, but she was so sensitive ...

"Kakashi …" she said weakly.

"Hmm?" he responded.

Without waiting for an answer, he caught her lips with his in a lazy kiss, fingers moving still inside of her, and then he left her mouth to trace a path down to her chest, where he found a cloth-covered nipple and took it between his teeth.

"Oh god," she gasped as suddenly the need within her was back full-force. Her hands flew to his head, holding it in place.

He sucked and rubbed and added a third finger and she was afraid she might faint. Instead, she felt herself coming for a second time.

The instant she did, his mouth was back on hers, drawing her into a kiss, though she could barely participate through her orgasm.

"Fuck, Sakura," she heard him groan against her lips. "You need to go home."

Coming down from her high, she could barely understand him. "What?" she asked dazedly.

He kissed her again and slipped his fingers out of her to grab her ass and hold her close. She could feel his erection against her stomach. "You need to go home," he said again.

Still in a haze, Sakura shook her head. "Why?"

He pulled back and looked her in the eye. "Sakura …" Unfocused though her thoughts were, she could see the strain in his face, and his voice was dead serious. "Sakura, if you don't go home, I'm going to lay you down in the mud and take you here, right now."

He bit his lip and shut his eyes momentarily. She felt herself flushing.

"But I don't want that," he said finally. "I don't want that for the first time I make love to you ... So you need to go home."

Placing a brief kiss on her lips, he let his hands fall from her sides and stepped back.

Sakura's mind was mostly mush, but in some corner of her brain, she understood what he was saying, so she staggered away from the tree, legs weak, eyes on him. The expression on his face made her heart twist.

"Kakashi …" She unconsciously reached out her hand. He stared at it blankly for almost a minute before taking it and tugging her toward him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist, and their lips met. The kiss was long and soft and just a little needy, and her heart ached as she pulled away.

"Go home, Sakura," he repeated, brushing his nose against hers.

Nodding, she released her arms and walked in the direction of her house. About twenty feet away, she glanced back at him one more time and watched as he pulled up his mask and vanished in a swirl of leaves.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: So the omake thing ... I could have broken the two parts around it into separate chapters, because I feel like there's enough of a shift between them to warrant that, but then the first one would have been really short. Then I got this mental image of the potential consequences of Sarada's training, and it seemed to kind of fit, so there you have it.


	14. Chapter 14

Kakashi was pulling his shirt over his head and kicking off his shoes the instant he made it into his apartment. Dropping the shirt onto the bathroom tile, he turned the shower on full blast and stepped out of his pants and into the tub, yanking the curtain closed behind him.

As the hot water ran over his shoulders, he pressed a hand to the tile and gripped his rock hard cock with the other. He needed to come, desperately.

It had taken everything in him to back away from Sakura. Having her in his arms, feeling her orgasm around his fingers, and watching her face flush with pleasure he gave her had had his senses reeling. He'd fantasized about her that way so many times, but now he knew how her arousal smelled, knew the sound of her breath catching as she came, knew the way she said his name in a voice filled with need.

He groaned, stroking himself faster. She'd called  _his_  name. She'd called  _his_  name when he filled her with his fingers, whimpered  _his_  name when he coaxed her into a second orgasm.

His hand clutched at the wet tile, and he could feel precum dripping onto his fingers as he rubbed his palm roughly over the head of his penis. He used the memory of her hands grabbing onto him, pulling him closer as the walls of her vagina started pulsing around his thrusting fingers, and imagined what it would be like to have her below him, urging him to drive his cock into her deeper and harder in the same way.

She would press her head back into the pillow as he picked up his pace, arching her neck and moaning into his ear as he sucked on the sensitive area just below her jaw and tweaked a bare nipple with his thumb. He would wait for her to dig her fingers into his ass and push her feet into the bed to meet his hips before capturing her mouth with his and moving his hand to circle her clit until her muscles clamped down on him and they both had to break the kiss as they came.

"Fuck …"

He abruptly stopped his movement, squeezing the base of his cock and raising his head up with a hiss as his cum shot out onto the wall. After the second stream hit the tile, he resumed his motions, slower this time, prolonging the pleasure and drawing out another couple of spurts.

Finally spent, he released himself and rested his forehead next to his hand on the wall, breathing heavily. He was both sated and unsatisfied all at once; while being able to use actual memories instead of just fantasies to get off had been incredible, he had a feeling that he would never be entirely content until he had her completely, until Sakura was his to make love to as many times as she wanted.

He sighed deeply and lifted his head, grabbing his bottle of shampoo.

* * *

 

Sakura stared at herself in the mirror of her vanity.

Her hair was still dripping rainwater, though she had changed out of her wet clothes into a bathrobe. In the end, she had gotten soaked because she had felt no need to rush home; walking through the summer storm had seemed somehow peaceful, and it had fit her mood after what had happened.

What had happened ...

She tilted her head to the side to look again at the light bruise on her neck, left there by Kakashi when he'd had her pressed up against the tree.

A flash of desire shot through her at the memory. Even now, her nerves tingled when she thought of him. He'd made her feel so ... so ...

Well, she didn't know quite how to describe it. It wasn't that Sasuke was a bad lover at all, though he'd never made her come in quick succession like that. And it was true that the need she had felt for Kakashi was unlike any need she'd ever felt for her husband.

But she  _had_  felt a need for Sasuke many times during their marriage, and she was always satisfied the sex they had. She had to admit that she'd been rather surprised by it herself, but Sasuke wasn't a selfish lover and never had been; they had lost their virginity to each other, and when he'd come before she did, he had taken the time afterward to bring her to orgasm with his fingers and his mouth.

Her body heated at the memory and memories of times after that, but that only served to confuse her more.

She didn't understand what was happening ... with Sasuke, with Kakashi, with herself. It bothered her that she was sitting there, calmly comparing her husband's lovemaking with what she knew of Kakashi's. She knew she should be breaking down like she had after the exam room. At the least, she knew she should be feeling guiltier than she was. But just then, she really couldn't feel much of anything except a strange calmness, a distant sort of confusion, and the lingering satisfaction of the orgasms Kakashi had given her.

She wondered if perhaps she were dissociating, separating her essential self from what she had done with her silver-haired former teacher under a tree in the middle of a storm.

It would make sense. She'd always had a tendency toward that (hence Inner Sakura) ... but this wasn't a case where Inner Sakura had taken over ... yes, her outspoken alter ego had instigated her actions in the pub, but it was Sakura who had willingly held hands with Kakashi under the table in the pub. It was Sakura who had told him not to stop when he'd said that he would kiss her. It was Sakura who had all but begged him to make her come. And it was Sakura who had reached out her hand, inviting him to pull her in for a last, tender kiss before she left.

She watched herself blush as her heart skipped a beat. There had been something in that kiss, something that made it hard to regret what had happened.

 

She didn't know why, but a moment later, the calm suddenly seemed to dissipate, and the small smile that had formed on her lips fell ...

Sasuke would be so hurt if he ever found out.

At the thought of what her husband would feel if he learned what she had done, Sakura's eyes filled with tears. She knew that he cared deeply for her, even if he rarely said so (or showed it), and something like this would crush him, because while Sasuke barely trusted anyone, he trusted her.

And she had broken that trust.

Her heart twisted. She imagined his face if he found out ... the way he'd try to hide the pain he'd feel at her betrayal, the way he'd close himself off from her ... and probably everyone else too.

Her heart ached.

And then, unbidden, the memory of Kakashi's face when she'd turned him away that morning not long ago flashed across her mind, followed by the memory of his face when she'd looked at him across the coffee table and the memory of the look in his eyes when he'd told her to go home earlier that night.

Tears were spilling over her cheeks now. She didn't know what she was doing. She hated the thought of hurting Sasuke, but she hated the thought of hurting Kakashi too. And she would be hurting him; she knew that now. His confession in her living room hadn't been a joke, and it hadn't been some ploy to get her into his bed. She'd never really believed it had been either of those things, but his actions around her, around Sarada ... they were genuine.

She covered her face with her hands, pressing her palms into her eyes as she began sobbing in earnest ... and then she started crying harder when she realized that what she wanted most at that moment was for Kakashi to come and hold her and tell her that everything would be alright.

Kakashi. Not Sasuke.

She choked on a sob. Sasuke would be so hurt ...

With her hair still wet and tears still flowing from her eyes, Sakura got up and crawled into her bed, curling into a ball and pulling her comforter up to her chin. She wanted to go to sleep and wake up and have everything be simple again, to know where she belonged and what she should do with her life.

But she knew that wasn't possible. She'd overstepped the line in the exam room, yes, but she'd run clean past it tonight, and she couldn't go back. She couldn't undo it, and, worse, she couldn't make all of herself want to undo it; there was a part of her, bigger than it should have been, that wouldn't trade that night for the world, no matter what the rest of her said, no matter how many times she thought about Sasuke's pained face.

 

But worst of all was that the part of her that refused to regret the events under the tree wasn't only Inner Sakura.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: Well, you knew we couldn't leave Kakashi like that ... I doubt there are many men who could just go home and go to sleep after something like that. But it was arguably dirtier citrus than the last chapter; I hope you don't mind. If you do, though, I have to warn you that I like the dirty stuff too, so the lemons and limes in this story won't all be romantic. ;-)
> 
> Also, to the Sasuke haters ... While I am no fan of Sasuke myself, I felt like he might really have changed because of how he was portrayed in the sequel ... I don't know. In any case, this plot would be much less interesting if he were just a total ahole, right?


	15. Chapter 15

Sakura dreamt that she was in Kakashi's arms, resting against his chest while he rested against the trunk of the tree from which they were watching Sarada practice Doton: Doryuuheki.

... Or, well, Sakura was watching at any rate ... Kakashi was holding  _Icha Icha_ in front of her and reading over her shoulder. Apparently he'd decided that his duty was done after he'd taught Sarada the jutsu the day before and thus his attention was no longer necessary ... though he  _was_  rather good at reading smutty novels and being aware of his surroundings at the same time, so she couldn't be sure.

With a soft smile, she let her head fall back onto his collarbone contentedly and covered the hand he had wrapped around her waist with her own. He responded by pulling her closer in a light hug, then turned the page with his thumb.

Some things would never change ...

 

When the chirping of birds outside her window had Sakura slowly returning to the waking world, the details of her dream were already fading from her mind, but she felt warm and unusually peaceful, especially given her emotional turmoil the night before. She wanted to stay in bed, to hold onto the last tendrils of whatever had her feeling so comfortable, but it seemed the birds had a different agenda.

Finally giving up on falling back asleep, Sakura sighed heavily and flipped the comforter off before sliding out of bed and drowsily making her way to her closet. She was about to pull out her hospital uniform when she remembered that she had the day off. Brightening up a bit at that, she instead put on her typical sparring outfit and decided to go kick the crap out of some bunshin; she could use both the exercise and the release.

 

After having deliberately avoided both training ground 3 and training ground 8, as they were a certain person's favorites, Sakura arrived at training ground 5 to find said person already there and going through his kata.

Seeing him in the middle of the clearing of a training ground he almost never went to, she could only roll her eyes at the heavens and raise her hands in defeat … It figured. It absolutely figured.

Suddenly lacking the energy to do much of anything, Sakura dragged her feet to the nearest tree and slumped down to sit at its base, supporting her back and head with the rough bark as she observed him.

Though he had on his mask, he'd left off his hitai-ate ... she could see it in the grass a few feet from him, glinting in the sun. Without it, his unruly hair fell over his forehead in a way that made him look both younger and a little roguish, and the standard ANBU-issue sleeveless shirt he wore only highlighted what could have been the body of a 25-year-old, as it left his strong arms bare and hugged every muscle in his chest and abdomen.

She couldn't take her eyes off of him.

It wasn't that Sakura had never seen Kakashi train by himself before; she'd just never seen him train the morning after having had his body pressed intimately against hers, and she was discovering that it was an entirely different experience. Where she'd always known that he was incredibly proficient and disciplined, she now saw that, well, in a word, he was beautiful … his movements were so precise, so fluid, that he was almost dancing.

As he continued to move through his exercises, she found that, oddly enough, at the same time that watching him was making her body heat up in decidedly inappropriate ways, it was also making her feel … safe.

With that strange mix of nervousness and a sense of security swirling around within her, Sakura realized that, somehow, Kakashi was at once the person who unsettled her the most and the one who made her the most comfortable.

Just as she was beginning to dissect how such a thing was possible, she found herself instinctively ducking as a kunai thudded into the tree above her head.

"Goddammit, Kakashi!" she shouted angrily, yanking the kunai out of the bark and throwing it at him as she jumped to her feet. "You could have killed me!"

He neatly sidestepped the projectile and walked slowly toward her, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Ah, sorry, Sakura-chan," he said, eyes crinkled, then lowered his arm. "I thought you were a giant centipede." He made a face. "... I hate centipedes."

She glared at him, hands on her hips. "Really, Kakashi? A giant, pink-haired centipede?"

He nodded his head sagely. "Yes … I've seen one before … terrifying." He shuddered.

Sakura blinked at him several times, then burst out laughing. "You … are the most ridiculous person I have ever met," she managed to say before breaking out into another round of giggles.

He looked offended, and she had to cover her mouth with her hand as she snickered at his expression. Through the mask, she thought she saw the tiniest of smiles break at the corner of his mouth before he turned his side to her and pretended to ignore her.

When she finally managed to stop laughing, he cleared his throat and began, "Well, now that we've established that you are not, in fact, a terrifying, pink-haired centipede …"

Sakura shook her head at him disapprovingly and sighed. "You forgot 'giant' …"

"Ah, right. Now that we've established that you are not, in fact, a giant, terrifying, pink-haired centipede," he corrected. "Mind telling me why you were creeping about in the trees like one?" He raised an eyebrow in her direction.

She scowled at him. "I was  _not_  creeping about in the trees," she stated firmly. "I had come to spar with some of my bunshin and found you here. I figured I'd just wait, so I sat down."

He looked at her skeptically.

She crossed her arms and sniffed. "Well, it's true." And it was, more or less.

"Mmhm," he hummed in a way that indicated that he didn't believe her. "So you wanted to spar with your bunshin then?"

"Yes," she replied testily.

"I see," he nodded. "Kage bunshin?"

"YES," she growled.

"Mm," he continued. "And after finding the training ground occupied, you decided to seat yourself against a tree?"

Sakura got the distinct impression that somewhere along the line, this had turned into an interrogation.

"Look,  _jiji_ ," she said, glowering at him, "I realize that you're going senile, but I'd rather not have to repeat myself every five seconds, so if you'll excuse me, I'll just go to a different training ground."

She gave him a short bow before heading in the direction of training ground 4.

Immediately, she was blocked by one of Kakashi's kage bunshin, which stuck its hands in its pockets and gave her a trademark smile as it stood in her path. She heard the real Kakashi come up behind her.

Even though neither the bunshin nor the real thing was closer than three feet from her, Sakura's body recognized that she was, essentially, stuck between two Kakashis.

 _The more the merrier,_  Inner Sakura grinned lecherously, wiggling her eyebrows.

 _Shut up,_  Sakura retorted, feeling uncomfortably warm.

"Rather than spar with your kage bunshin,  _Sakura-chan_ ," the real Kakashi started.

"Why not spar with me?" Bunshin-Kakashi finished, the trademark smile turning into the trademark smirk as he cocked his head to one side.

Sakura furrowed her brow. She hated that smirk. That smirk did funny things to her insides.

"No, thank you," she replied through gritted teeth, then strode forward, bumping into Bunshin-Kakashi's arm to push him out of the way.

 _Why does even his bunshin have to have that … stupid Kakashi smell?_  she grumbled internally, blushing as she stomped past him.

Inner Sakura just tossed her the memory of having that scent wrapped around her along with his naked arms as she kissed him on the exam table.

Sakura mentally clotheslined her inner self.

 

She'd gotten about twenty-five feet away when the newly-appointed World's Most Obnoxious Man called out, "Why not, Sakura-chan? I promise I won't be too rough with you ..."

She froze. Inner Sakura instantly took what he said as sexual innuendo and began a slideshow of all the "not too rough" things he could do to her, while the rest of Sakura got pissed off at the insinuation that she wouldn't be able to take him on at full strength, even though she knew he was just saying it to provoke her into fighting with him.

Well, never let it be said that getting older means getting more mature ...

Sakura smashed her mental fist into Inner Sakura's face and simultaneously stamped her physical heel into the ground, sending a deep crack from the point of impact back to where she knew Kakashi had been standing.

Pulling on her gloves with a snap, she turned around. As expected, he was nowhere in sight. " _You're_  going to be the one asking  _me_  not to be too rough on you, Ka-ka-shi!" she vowed loudly.

"Why would I want you to go easy on me, Sa-ku-ra?" she heard him say, his voice way too close.

She flipped backward just before his leg could make impact with her chest.

As soon as she stood, she found herself dodging and deflecting shuriken coming from multiple directions. Taking advantage of a split-second gap between rounds, she slammed her fist into the ground and ducked behind the large chunk of earth that shot up in its wake. After quickly forming a kage bunshin, she blasted through her makeshift barricade, sending embedded shuriken and dirt shrapnel flying and forming a dust cloud that allowed her to escape to the safety of the trees on one side of the clearing while her bunshin ran to the trees on the other side, in the general area from which the largest barrage had been coming.

Shortly after the dust cleared, the pop of a defeated bunshin sounded out from across the way, but Sakura wasn't blasted with any new memories. She smiled wickedly from behind a large tree; her bunshin had won that skirmish.

Her grin had barely faded when she was suddenly strapped to the tree, back against the bark, with very thin wire that threatened to cut into her skin if she moved too much. She glared at the silver-haired man who strolled out of the forest to stand a few feet in front of her.

"Don't let your guard down, Sakura-chan," he tutted, a small smirk pulling at his lips as he stepped closer.

She returned the smirk. "I could say the same to you, Kaka- _sensei_ ," she said as she shot chakra out of her body to cut herself free of the wires and charged at him. At the same time, her bunshin dropped down from the tree she'd snuck herself into while Sakura was trapped, fist aimed at Kakashi's head.

Both Sakuras' fists collided with the log that appeared with a "poof" right as they arrived. Bunshin-Sakura used the momentum of her punch to power herself into a mid-air backflip. As she descended, she kicked out a foot at the silver head that had appeared below her. The kick was blocked by a kunai that pushed her leg up, knocking her off-balance and forcing her to plant both hands on the ground before spinning back onto her feet to face her enemy.

Meanwhile, the ground beneath Sakura had transformed into mud the instant the log had exploded.

"Doton: Doryuu Taiga … nice one, Kakashi," she muttered as she began sliding down into the earth. She threw a kunai with a wire tied to it into a thick branch above her and began to pull herself out. "Even copied from the Sandaime, I see. Shameless …" she grumbled, channeling chakra to her arms to give herself a boost.

Finally freed from the mud, she hopped onto a branch and surveyed her surroundings. She'd just caught sight of her bunshin fighting Kakashi or one of his bunshin (she suspected the latter) when a giant water dragon descended upon her.

"Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu," came a deep, amused voice from the ground.

She managed to flip out of the way of the dragon, but it recovered immediately and headed for her from below.

"You were covered in mud, Sakura-chan. I thought I'd help you out," she heard Kakashi say as she hopped onto higher branches, trying to elude the water dragon.

Mid-jump, out of the corner of her eye, she saw both of their bunshin popping out of existence at the same time; apparently, they had defeated each other.

Sakura decided to take a chance. She stopped in her path just long enough to draw out the dragon, which sped upwards toward her feet. Fist raised in front of her, Sakura punched the dragon in its face, splashing water everywhere. Her punch carried her down the entire length of the dragon until she found that her risk had paid off: her fist connected with Kakashi's collarbone, knocking him to the ground with her sitting on his chest, kunai at his throat.

He winced. "It's a good thing you took your chakra out of that punch …"

She grinned. "Well, I figured you'd've asked me to take it easy on you if I had given you the time, so I cut you a break."

He shot her a wry smile. "You broke my collarbone, at any rate. It would be too painful to flip you over now, so I guess I'll have to concede defeat …" he paused. "But it's a conditional surrender."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "And what's your condition?"

He gave her a wicked grin, and suddenly Sakura noticed the position they were in. She blushed furiously. "Kakashi-" her tone was warning.

"Sakura …" he began, voice dark. "My condition for surrender is that you …"

Her breath caught in her throat.

"Heal my collarbone," he said, voice lighter, eyes crinkled.

She let out a sigh of frustration. "You are impossible," she groused, letting his arms go and starting to climb off of him.

A gloved hand on each thigh stopped her. They were warm and rough, and because her shorts had ridden up as she sat on him, she could feel the tip of each finger on her skin. Her breath caught again at the sensation, but it was the look in his eyes that sent the wave of desire pulsing through her body.

"I'm not finished," he stated. His gaze trailed over her face but didn't dip below her chin. "My condition for surrender is that you heal my collarbone … from where you're sitting right now."

Her heart rate sped up. "Kakashi!" she protested.

"Hmm?" he asked. "I'm not going to do anything, Sakura … I just like the view." It was then that his eyes traveled past her chin, down to where her body met his chest.

Inner Sakura was melting, and Sakura wasn't far behind her. The heat in his eyes, in his voice … he didn't need to do anything else to overwhelm her senses.

"Do you accept the terms?"

She looked down at him, forcing herself to roll her eyes and act as if he weren't affecting her at all. "Fine," she said. The green glow of chakra formed around her hands as she held them over his injury and tried not to notice that he hadn't moved his hands from her thighs.

"You're all wet, Sakura," Kakashi murmured.

"What?!" she cried.  _How could he know?_

 _His nose is better than Kiba's …_ Inner Sakura pointed out.

Sakura blanched.  _Oh god._

"It did wash away most of the mud though," he continued, turning his head to observe her legs.

"Huh?" was all Sakura could manage.

"Good thing your shirt isn't white," he said as he slid his eyes up to her chest. His face, however, suggested that he didn't think it was a good thing at all.

It was then that Sakura finally realized that he was talking about the fact that she'd punched through a water dragon; her hair and clothes were soaked. She shook her head, bemused, thinking about the storm. "How is it that I always seem to end up wet around you?"

The instant the question left her mouth, she realized the way it sounded.  _Oh god ..._

He was silent, but his fingers tightened on her thighs, and his eyes closed tightly. After a moment, eyes still closed, he spoke, "Is it almost healed?"

"Um, yeah," she replied quietly. She could barely breathe. "Just another minute or two."

He nodded. He finally opened his eyes, but he kept them trained on the branches above his head.

As the glow from her chakra finally faded, she sat back. "All done," she said. Her voice was almost a whisper.

When he didn't say anything in response, didn't even look at her, she softly called his name. "Kakashi? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he muttered, letting his hands slip from her thighs. She missed their warmth almost immediately.

"I've just had better ideas before …" he chuckled humorlessly and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We should get going."

He started to sit up, but Sakura hadn't moved, so his action resulted in her sliding down onto his lap. He leaned back on his hands and looked up at the leaf-covered sky, sighing deeply. "Yeah, I've definitely had better ideas before."

Sakura found her gaze fixed on his strong neck, the way it was bared to her … even with his mask still on, she could see every muscle, every tendon, his Adam's apple when he swallowed. It made her want to tear off the fabric covering it and run her tongue up from his newly-healed collarbone to his ear.

She shifted unconsciously.

His hands were instantly on her thighs again, and he'd raised his head to meet her eyes. "Don't do that," he said, his voice low and strained.

"Do what?" she asked, knowing full well what he meant. She could feel the heat building inside her. It was like a drug.

He sighed, head falling back again. "Nevermind. Let's just get going."

Sakura didn't move. His fingers tensed against her.

"Sakura, you have to get up," he tried to command her, but there was little force behind his words. "Sakura … I can't … anymore ..."

It was then that she felt him stir between her legs, and she couldn't help but take in a sharp breath. His grip on her thighs tightened, and she watched him clench his jaw.

She wanted to see his face.

She lifted her hands to the edge of his mask. As she pulled it down, he brought his head up. He grew harder as she touched him and then harder still when he looked at her. But while his eyes were filled with need, they were also filled with questions … and something that made her feel weak.

"Sakura," he said, cupping her face with one hand. "Do you know what you're doing?"

She studied his face, his mouth, his deep, deep grey eyes, and suddenly her chest was too full … the area around her heart, leading up to her throat, felt like it would burst open if she didn't press him as close to it as possible, if he didn't wrap his arms around her. It felt like the only thing that could contain her, could save her was his hold.

Her eyes stung … with pain, with need, with fear, with happiness, with …

Her chest was too full, and she knew the answer to his question.

"Yes."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N (amended): I do want to apologize to those readers who were expecting or hoping that this wouldn't result in an affair. The affair was planned from the beginning; there are a lot of reasons for this, and I'm happy to discuss in a PM. I fully understand if you don't want to continue reading, though of course I hope you do.


	16. Chapter 16

Kakashi should have known better. He  _knew_ he should have known better. But in the split-second vision he'd had of Sakura punching through his jutsu ... her fist slamming water out of the way and strands of her wet hair sticking to her determined face as she flew toward him with a speed he hadn't expected ... In that split second, he had thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And when she landed on him, thighs spread across his chest, dripping water onto his mask as she leaned over him triumphantly, she was so incredibly radiant that he barely felt the pain of the bone she'd broken ...

He should have known better, but in that instant, he didn't want to let her go; he wanted to lie beneath her while she healed him and pretend ... just for a little while ... that she was his, that he could hold that brilliance in his hands, in his arms. And so, with adrenaline coursing through his veins and the weight of her body on his clouding his judgment, he contrived a way to keep her there.

 

He should have known it would end up this way.

 

He couldn't help trailing his eyes over her body as she sat above him, and while he hadn't intended to tease her like he usually did, not while she was where she was, looking like she looked, the words slid out of his mouth anyway.

But it was fine, he was managing to keep it to just that ... teasing.

... Until she innocently wondered aloud how she always seemed to end up wet around him, and he finally, fully realized what a bad idea his conditions of surrender had been.

He should have let her get up and heal him as she normally would, but he hadn't, and so he found himself holding her thighs as she straddled his lap and slowly pulled his mask down.

It was a relatively novel experience for him, not being able to execute absolute control over his own actions, and this was the second time in as many days that he had given in. He had hoped things wouldn't go this far, wouldn't go this way, had hoped that he would be able to win her over before they got to this place.

But apparently he had given himself too much credit.

In a last ditch effort to stop what was starting to seem inevitable, he put his hand to her cheek and asked her if she knew what she was doing.

The multitude of emotions he watched do battle in her eyes as she studied him made him nervous in a way he never had been before; he was afraid that she would say no ... and he was equally afraid that she would say yes.

He knew the moment she reached her decision ... Her eyes grew shiny with suppressed tears, and though she never moved her hand, he could almost see her need to clutch at her chest through the tension in her face.

But it was the look in her eyes that nearly knocked the breath out of his body. There was still lust in her gaze, yes, but there was also a vulnerability there that told him that she was finally  _seeing_ him ... not as a former teacher, not as a friend, not as simply an attractive man. She was seeing him for everything that he was, and her reaction to what she saw wasn't what she had expected from herself.

When she eventually said yes, he searched her eyes for any indication that she didn't mean it, but while he found fear in those green orbs, he didn't find doubt, and it was more than he could take.

Maintaining eye contact, he guided her head gently toward his until she was so close that he could feel the warmth of her face on his even though she wasn't touching him. But still he hesitated, his lips hovering over hers. This wasn't like it had been against the tree in the rain. This wasn't just sexual desire on her part, just getting caught up in the moment, and in a way, that terrified him. He had survived torture, survived wars, survived  _dying_ , but this ... this terrified the hell out of him. It was what he'd wanted ... for a long time now ... but it also meant that whatever happened next, both of their emotions would be laid bare, unguarded, defenseless.

He understood the vulnerability in her gaze; he was sure she had seen it in his own.

After a final questioning look into her face, he let his hand slide from her cheek into the damp hair at the back of her neck as he touched his lips to hers in a first, tentative whisper of a kiss before he angled his head and captured her mouth fully with his.

The kiss was deep but not rushed, and he held her body to his with a hand on her back, pressing their chests together and feeling the chill of her drying shirt briefly before it was warmed by the heat growing between them.

 

The difference from their last two encounters was startling.

Although Sakura had sensed more than lust from him before, the emotion she felt in that moment of hesitation, those long seconds where Kakashi held his mouth a breath away from hers, waiting until he was sure that she was sure, made her own feelings intensify almost painfully, and when their lips finally met, the kiss was so tender that she feared her chest actually, truly would explode.

But then he held her close, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, and somehow she felt safe again, the way she always had with him.

It was inexplicable to her, that she could feel safe when she had been so afraid just moments before, could feel safe when they were doing what they were doing, but she did. And she felt more than that, more than safe ... the longer she was in his arms, with his mouth and his hands touching her with a blend of caring, need, and something almost like reverence, the more the confusing mess of feelings that had been threatening to break her into pieces coalesced into a single emotion: happiness.

Happiness ...

She knew it was odd, but she was becoming very nearly giddy with happiness, so much so that she couldn't help smiling against his lips as they kissed, so much so that she wanted to laugh.

But then Kakashi's tongue entered her mouth and his hands on her hips pushed her down onto his hard length, igniting a flame of desire within her that calmed the giddiness and had her groaning into his mouth. In response, she circled her tongue around his and rolled her hips against him, feeling him grow harder with each pass of her covered core over his erection.

With a guttural hum of approval, he drew her bottom lip into his mouth and ran his hands over her ass to grip her upper thighs and encourage her to spread her legs wider.

While he guided her movements, Sakura tugged her lip from his mouth to kiss across his stubbled jawline, and she soon discovered that he  _really_  liked it when she bit down almost roughly and then sucked on his neck, because his fingers tightened their hold on her thighs, and she heard his breath catch.

"Mm ... Sakura," he said, voice low and gruff as he jerked her hips toward him. "Sakura ... do you want to go back to my apartment?"

He lifted his head to drag her into another heated kiss, all the while pressing her down harder and rubbing her clit over his cock through their clothes until she thought she might come from the friction alone. When he finally freed her mouth to run his tongue along the rim of her ear, she could barely steady her breathing long enough to say yes.

That was all it took. Sakura had no time to register the hand seal he formed before they were in his bedroom with the typical poof of Shunshin no jutsu. He stood there, holding her in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, and just kissed her for a long moment.

When he finally moved them to the bed and let her back dip into his mattress, he broke the kiss and paused, hovering above her.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, eyes taking in all of her as she lay beneath him.

He was looking at her the way he had in the exam room, the way that only _he_ had ever looked at her, and it set her heart aflutter at the same time that it made her insides clench with need.

"Kakashi …" she said quietly, her voice filled with desire and just a hint of the giddiness from before.

The corners of her mouth quirked up in a small smile as she raised her arms to his waist and tugged on his shirt to bring him down to her. He obliged, rolling his erection against her core as his body met hers and letting a hand ghost up her side to cup one of her breasts. He flicked his thumb over the hardened nipple at the same time that he thrust his hips sharply into hers, and Sakura gasped at the dual sensations, her head dropping back into the comforter and her fingers dipping unconsciously under the waistband of his pants.

He kissed her then, not stopping his rocking motion, hitting her clit with the head of his cock with each movement. The need to be inside her was becoming urgent. He removed his hand from her breast to duck it under her shirt and run it up the bare skin of her side until he encountered her bindings.

With a small growl of frustration, he sat back on his heels, feeling his erection pressing uncomfortably against his pants, and began to pull her shirt up. She lifted her arms to allow him to take it off. After it had been relegated to some dark corner of his room by a quick toss, he stared at the thin strips of cloth hiding her from him for a minute before resting a hand on the mattress next to her head and running his tongue along her neck as he let his other hand slide behind her back to undo the knot securing her bindings.

While he worked, he heard her moan quietly and felt her fingers slip under his shirt. Knowing what she wanted, he stopped his efforts to bare her breasts and sat up to tuck a hand under each side of his shirt.

Sakura's mouth went dry as she stared at his muscles flexing when he pulled the navy fabric over his abs, over his chest, and finally over his head, then threw it to the floor. She would have laughed at the way the act somehow managed to make his hair even messier, but she was too busy being mesmerized by his body, the sunlight streaming in from the window highlighting every ridge, every dip.

Her gaze traveled from the spiky mass of silver atop his head down to his charcoal eyes, which were watching her watch him with heat smoldering in their depths. The lust she saw there made her blush, and she looked down, embarrassed, only to find her gaze on his mouth … then his chest ... then his abs ... and then the top of his pants, which were slung so low on his hips that she could see a small tuft of white hair peeking out over the waistband. Her blush burned brighter at the sight, but still she let her eyes drift downward.

When she saw the proof of his arousal straining against his pants, she stopped breathing. She felt her nipples instantly tighten and her underwear grow wetter, and she couldn't help imagining what he looked like without the fabric in the way, what he would feel like when he thrust into her.

"Kakashi … I-" she began, voice husky with desire.  _I want you too._

The hunger in her eyes as she looked at his erection nearly did him in, and then the way she said his name so desperately actually did.

"Fuck, Sakura," he groaned, dipping his head down to kiss her with a desperation of his own and slipping a hand under her shorts, under her panties, until he got to what he wanted. He ran his fingers over her slit, finding in the slickness there the evidence that he was turning her on as much as she was turning him on.

He felt her hands skim up his sides to latch onto his back, her fingernails digging into his shoulder blades as he started rubbing faster, letting two fingers curl into her with each downward stroke. She was moaning into his mouth, but he wanted to hear her cry out when she came. Tearing his lips from hers, he began sucking on the delicate skin of her neck until she was panting against his ear, small whimpers of pleasure escaping ... and then it was his name again, breathy, needy, and so sexy that he struggled to keep from coming himself.

"Sakura, you're driving me crazy ..." he muttered darkly into the space where her neck met her shoulder. "I need you to come. I need to h-"

His voice cut off abruptly when he felt her walls clamp down on his fingers and heard her call out as her orgasm hit.

His own breathing heavy, he lifted his head to watch her face as she came, and in the late morning light, she was even more beautiful than she had been the night before.

"Sakura ..."

The look in his eyes when she opened hers made her heart clench even as she continued to pulse around his fingers. It was tender and desirous and ... loving. He didn't say it, but she saw it there, that he loved her. And she wanted to cry.

Instead, she reached for him, pulling his face down to hers and kissing him deeply.

She was terrified ... of what he was feeling, of what  _she_  was feeling, of what she was going to ask him to do. But she knew that she wanted it ... right, wrong ... at that moment, it didn't matter to her.

"Kakashi ... make love to me," she almost whispered against his lips, her heart racing.

When Kakashi heard her soft voice speak those words into his mouth, he groaned, and any blood that hadn't already headed south made its way there with a flash of heat.

Overwhelmed by his feelings for the woman beneath him, he removed his hand from inside of her and brought both hands up to cup the back of her head. Resting on his elbows, one to each side of her face, he let most of his weight press her body into the mattress as he tilted her head back and kissed her with everything inside of him.

If Sakura had thought any of his previous kisses had been filled with emotion, they held nothing on this one. She felt as if he were pouring something of himself into her with each swipe of his tongue, each nip of his teeth, each movement of his lips over hers, and the way he covered her with his strong form made her feel warm, protected, and incredibly turned on.

When he couldn't hold back anymore, he broke away from her and sat back, running his hands down to her still-covered breasts and circling her nipples with the tips of his index fingers before skimming past the curves of her waist to tuck his fingers under her bottoms. As he dragged them over her hips, he dipped his head to plant kisses from her belly button on to every newly exposed inch of her skin until he arrived at the first of her pink curls.

From there, he raised his head and encouraged her to lift her hips with a small, lopsided grin, then slipped off her shorts and panties and stood at the end of the bed, hands at the waistband of his pants.

Sakura propped herself up on her elbows to watch Kakashi move off the bed and found him looking at her, clearly enjoying the view of her nearly naked body. Her own eyes traveled appreciatively over his muscular torso to where his fingers teased her by sliding over his pants without pulling down. Instead, he gripped his very visible erection through the fabric and gave it a few hard strokes. Sakura blushed at the sight, and a delicious heat pooled low in her abdomen, but she managed to focus enough to reach behind her back with one hand to undo the knot of her bindings. When the strips of cloth fell away, baring her breasts to him, she was rewarded with the darkening of his gaze and the tightening of his fist around his cock.

Seeing her pull her bindings off so that she lay completely exposed on his bed had Kakashi harder than he thought he'd ever been. He released his hold on his cock to shrug off his pants and climbed back onto the mattress, spreading her legs slowly with a hand on each knee, revealing her pink curls and nearly dripping vagina. He grew impossibly harder, knowing that she was that ready for him, and he couldn't resist tasting her once before stretching fully over her and crushing his mouth onto hers.

Sakura was stunned and completely aroused by the long sweep of his tongue up her opening and against her clit, but she barely had time to process the sensation before that same tongue was slipping between her lips to tangle with hers. All of her nerves burning with need, she was easily caught up in the kiss, and she dug her fingers into his hair with a moan, her leg lifting unconsciously to roll her pelvis into his.

When her movement caused the head of his penis to bump into her opening, Kakashi growled into her mouth, snaking a hand down to grip her ass and raise her hips higher as he rubbed himself over her, her fluids allowing him to slide easily between her lower lips, up and down against her clit.

"Sakura … you're so fucking wet," he groaned and picked up his pace. "I can't …" He kissed her, jerking her lower body up into him roughly. "I have to …" His voice was dark and uneven, and with a last, harsh press of his lips to hers, he drove his cock deeply into her in one swift motion.

Sakura's head fell back instantly, her mouth ripping away from his as she cried out in pleasured shock, her hands tugging at his hair.

A hiss escaped his own lips as he finally felt her heat around him, but he paused for only a moment before his pent-up desire had him pulling out and plunging back in, his fingers digging into soft flesh as he quickly found a rhythm.

Sakura pushed the foot of her other leg into the mattress and began moving with him, dragging his head up to draw him into a heavy kiss.

"Kakashi …" she panted against his lips, letting a hand travel from the back of his head down to his shoulders. "More …"

She didn't even know what she was asking for, but he seemed to understand somehow, because suddenly, without slowing his movements, he was lifting his chest from hers and leaning back on his heels. Seeing the way he looked at her, the passion and need in his eyes as he continued to push into her, that alone had her vaginal muscles clenching with desire, but then he placed a hand under each thigh and sat up on his knees, yanking her hips off the bed and into his, practically impaling her with his hard length, and she thought she might pass out.

"Oh god," she breathed, eyes closing tightly as he continued to drive into her. "Oh god … Kakashi …"

She was so damn beautiful.

She'd thrown her arms above her head and was gripping the comforter tightly, using the bed to help her meet his thrusts. Her breasts bounced each time he slammed into her, and the sensation of her walls fluttering around him had him worried that he wouldn't last. He'd wanted this for too long ...

Still pumping into her, he trailed a hand from one of her thighs over her hip and across her belly until his thumb brushed her damp curls. She tensed, catching her breath, but he didn't touch her where he knew she wanted him to, opting instead to feel her grow wetter and wetter and hear her panting grow needier and needier as he alternated between running his thumb over the skin right above her clit and tracing circles in the hair there.

"Kakashi …" she said in something close to a whimper, pushing her hips impatiently into his.

"What, Sakura?" he asked, his voice raspy with his own desire.

She didn't answer, just bucked her hips insistently. He let his thumb drift closer to her clit and felt her pulse around him. "What do you want, Sakura?" he murmured darkly.

"Kakashi …" she almost begged, her brows furrowing and her hands grasping at the blanket.

"Do you want this?" He pressed his thumb against her clit, and her reaction was instantaneous … she gasped loudly, and one hand flew to grab the blankets at her side while her inner walls gripped him almost painfully.

"Yeeesss …" she moaned as he rubbed his thumb in small circles. She was soaked now, her juices coating his cock and dripping onto the bed as he thrust into her.

"Will this make you come, Sakura?" he asked in a nearly pained tone, torturing himself as much as her … he wanted to let himself go, to make real what he'd imagined so many times ... but she needed to come first.

Sakura could barely think. He was driving her crazy, filling her so deeply, teasing her with his thumb. She was so, so close …

"Sakura, look at me," he ordered.

There was that commanding voice of his again. Powerless to resist, Sakura opened her eyes and very nearly came at the sight of his hard body plunging into her, abs clenching. His neck muscles were taut, and she could see that he was close too. Her gaze dropped to where his hand met her body, and the sight was breathtaking … his long fingers splayed over her stomach, and his thumb moved slowly where his white hair met her pink hair with each forward thrust of his hips. She was hypnotized.

"Will this make you come?" he repeated huskily, and it was all she could do to whisper yes.

He groaned. "If you come, I'm going to come too …" he warned, the hand still on her thigh tightening its hold as he picked up his speed.

The thought of him coming while she did made her vagina pulse harshly, and she knew he felt it, because his thumb started pushing harder, circling faster, and his hips jerked into her so that he was nearly hitting her cervix each time he entered her.

She gasped. "Kakashi … I'm going to …"

"Shit …" he said through gritted teeth. "Do it … Come, Sakura ..."

His voice was her undoing. She cried out as her orgasm tore through her, her body clamping onto his hard shaft, milking it, trying to keep it inside of her, and the pleasure from his thumb was so intense that she almost couldn't take it. This orgasm was so much  _more_  than the ones she'd had at his fingers alone … he was so big, stretched her so wide, sank into her so deeply ...

While she was still mid-orgasm, he removed his thumb from her clit and pushed her down into the bed, and then he was kissing her as his rhythm started to break.

"Sakura …" he moaned brokenly against her mouth before he inhaled sharply as he dropped his head to her shoulder.

She heard a low groan beside her ear as he pulled out of her, and then she felt several jets of a warm spray against her stomach. She was surprised to realize that knowing that he was coming and feeling his cum hit her stomach made her orgasm last just a little longer than it normally would have.

 

When she could finally settle her breathing down, she found that he had shifted most of his weight to one side, resting one hand on her waist, the other behind her head, and he was currently placing a series of gentle kisses along her collarbone.

He must have sensed her eyes on him, because he smiled against the crook of her neck and nuzzled her with his nose before grazing his lips up to capture hers in a lazy, sated kiss, the hand on her waist squeezing lightly.

Pulling away with a last peck on the corner of her mouth, he said, "I'll get something to clean you up."

As if in some sort of dream world, Sakura watched him get up from the bed, completely naked, and walk into his bathroom. Incredibly, considering he had brought her to orgasm twice already, desire stirred within her at the sight of his strong back muscles, his toned ass and his muscular thighs, and when he returned, holding up a hand towel, her mouth ran dry as she saw, really for the first time, all of him.

Even flaccid as he was now, he was magnificent, and her body burned at the thought that she'd just had him inside of her moments ago.

He seemed not to take notice of the way she was looking at him as he knelt onto the bed and began wiping away the evidence of his orgasm.

"Kakashi?" she whispered.

He raised his head, his unbound hair falling across his left eye. He gave her a soft smile that made her blush at the same time that it made a lump form in her throat. "Hmm?"

"Can you … will you come here?" she asked hesitantly, suddenly struggling to keep her voice from cracking.

He recognized that she was starting to feel overwhelmed with everything that happened, so he ran the towel across her stomach one last time before throwing it to the floor and crawling up to lie on his side next to her.

Immediately, she curled into him, and he lifted an arm so that she could use it as a makeshift pillow, then pulled the blanket over them before bringing his other arm down to wrap around her waist and hold her to his chest.

When he felt her shoulders begin to tremble and the first few drops of her hot tears fell onto his arm, his heart twisted painfully, and he was hit with a sharp guilt over what he had let happen that made his own throat tighten.

Swallowing with difficulty, he pressed his chin to the top of her head as he hugged her close and listened while she cried.

 

He really should have known better.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (amended): Thanks for all the support you guys ... you're great :)
> 
> **Don't have unprotected sex, no matter how I or others write it. These are stories; babies and STDs are real life.**


	17. Chapter 17

When she finally had no more tears to shed, Sakura became cognizant of the fact that she was naked, wrapped in an equally naked Kakashi's strong arms under a blanket on his bed, but she didn't have the energy to leave his embrace … didn't have the energy to fight with herself to leave his embrace, really.

She knew that she should … more than anything … but she just couldn't bring herself to get up. Her heart and mind were in pieces, and, for better or for worse, it felt like he was the only thing keeping the parts of her from scattering away in the wind.

"I'm so tired," she sighed into his chest, slipping the arm she wasn't lying on from between them to drape it over his side until she was holding him loosely.

In response, he gathered her in closer and kissed the top of her head. "Sleep," he murmured into her hair. "I'm here."

The quiet sound of his deep voice was soothing, and Sakura unconsciously tucked a leg between his and snuggled into his warmth as she fell into an exhausted sleep.

 

Kakashi's arm had lost feeling ages ago, but he figured he deserved it. The way her shoulders had shaken with her sobs while he hugged her to him had nearly torn him apart.

Gods knew it had been hard enough to make it through the first time that he'd held her as she broke down ... and that time he wasn't in love with her, they weren't naked in his bed, and he wasn't the reason she was crying.

He clenched his jaw. What kind of man was he to reduce a woman to tears and then be the one to comfort her? Maybe he really was no better than his errant former student ... He couldn't forgive Sasuke for abandoning Sakura again after the clones issue was resolved because he knew how much it had hurt her, even if she didn't show it. Yet here he was, having caused her more pain in the past two months than anything he'd seen from Sasuke since that night four years ago ... And he'd done it twice.

How could he have let this happen? It didn't matter how good she'd felt against him or how much he'd wanted her or how much he could see that she'd wanted him too … he shouldn't have let this happen. This wasn't how he'd wanted things to go. It wasn't how he'd planned for them to go.

He sighed, but softly so as not to wake the woman in his arms.

None of that was to say that he hadn't known it  _could_  happen.

Kakashi wasn't an idiot; he knew that the first hurdle he would have to overcome with Sakura was getting her to see him as a  _man_ , and he knew that there was a good chance that he could make that happen ... He was well aware that most of his interactions with her were more like flirting than anything anyway … and had been for a long time. He was also aware that he could be very charming when he wanted to be. And he was aware that, even though there had been periods of time over the last eighteen years where they hadn't seen each other very often, he knew her better than most people, perhaps better than anyone aside from Naruto and Ino.

He hadn't needed to make out with her in an exam room or finger her against a tree to get past the first hurdle.

He certainly hadn't needed to make love to her.

And he knew it. But he had also known that there was a chance that something like this would happen if he were at all successful in changing her perspective on him. They were already close; if she were to become attracted to him and the right situation came about, of course there was a chance ... He'd just thought he could handle it, keep it from happening; he hadn't expected that his renowned willpower would choose this point in his life to desert him. He hadn't expected that his desire for her would be so all-consuming that he wouldn't be able to keep his head on straight when she started to show signs of interest.

At the least, he'd figured he would have learned his lesson after finding her so lost, so anguished, the day he'd given in at the hospital.

But it seemed that he was, in the end, selfish and weak, and now he wasn't sure what to do. It wouldn't have been  _easy_ , but it would have been so much  _easier_  if he had just been able to control himself ...

He looked down at her sleeping face. Her lips were still swollen from his kisses, and he hated that he felt a shock of desire at the sight, even as her cheeks were stained with dried tears. It was just another reminder that yeah, he'd had her ... but at what cost? As amazing as it had been, what was one time if it meant that it was the only time?

* * *

 

Kakashi had been mentally kicking his own ass for the better part of two hours when Sakura finally woke. Reluctantly, she dragged her arm from around his waist to rub away the salt crystals, remnants of crying, from her eyes.

She didn't want to open them.

Even though she could feel his body around hers, smell him with every intake of breath, she thought that if she just kept her eyes closed, maybe she could pretend it was all a dream … a good dream, but a dream nonetheless.

She didn't want to have to come to terms with what she had done, and she didn't want to have to figure out why, even in the face of all of the guilt and emotional turmoil, a part of her had never been happier than she was at that moment. It wasn't right.

She could feel her eyes beginning to sting again. She had had sex with someone who wasn't her husband.

She had had sex with  _Kakashi_.

She couldn't believe it, but it wasn't a dream, no matter how much she may have wanted it to be.

Her throat began to close. She needed to get up and go home.

Home.

Sakura's heart stopped. Sarada was going to be home today.

"Kakashi, what time is it?" she asked, jerking her head away from his arm and rolling over to look for a clock. "Sarada's mission was only supposed to take one day ... she could be back anytime now. I need to leave … I can't be here. I can't be here when she gets home … And why the hell don't you have a clock?!"

She was nearing hysteria when she felt his hand on her stomach. It made a familiar warmth swirl within her, even in the midst of her building panic, and the warmth only increased when he gently pulled her back into him and placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"Sakura, it's okay. It's only about ten after noon," he said quietly.

She scowled. She hated the way her body responded to his touch, hated the way her heart rate calmed at the sound of his voice.

... And how did he know what time it was anyway? She scanned the room again. There wasn't a clock anywhere that she could see ...

Kakashi interrupted her search with a light squeeze of his hand. "I have a highly developed sense of time," he explained, as if it should have been obvious.

"Bullshit," she retorted automatically.

He chuckled. "Of course, I don't always pay attention to it ..."

"I hate you," she grumbled, pulling off the blanket. His hand slipped off of her waist as she climbed out of the bed.

With some difficulty, she located all of her clothes and started to get dressed. When she began wrapping her bindings around her chest, she felt his eyes on her. Turning to glare at him, she found him propped up on one elbow, chest bare, watching her with a look that made her blush. The blanket had slid down to his hips, and his hair was particularly messy, even for him, locks of it alternately sticking out of the top of his head and falling over his eyes.

She frowned as her blush deepened. Why did he have to be that ...

 _Attractive? Sexy? Hot?_ Inner Sakura suggested with an evil grin.

 _I was going to say "annoying,"_ Sakura corrected.

Inner Sakura was unfazed.  _Annoyingly sexy, you mean ..._

 _Yeah that,_ Sakura agreed without thinking.  _Dammit ..._

"Do you need some help?" Kakashi asked with just a hint of a teasing tone.

At that, Sakura realized that she had stopped putting on her bindings and instead had been staring at his abs. Embarrassed, she gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm fine," she replied, voice clipped. "You should put some clothes on yourself."

Cheeks still flushed, she turned her back to him and finished wrapping her chest, then pulled on her shirt. When she faced him again, he'd gotten out of bed and thrown on a pair of pants ... but no shirt. Her brow furrowed.

"You're impossible," she huffed.

He just gave her an amused smirk. "I know."

She reached for her weapons pack and his expression grew serious. "Sakura ... we should talk," he said.

She didn't look at him. "I can't. I have to go." She strapped her pack onto her leg and checked to see if she'd forgotten anything.

"I know," he said. "I don't mean now. But we should talk."

She sighed and raised her eyes to his, then sighed again. "I know," she responded softly.

"Are you working tomorrow?"

Her face reflected her desperate wish to avoid the conversation, but she answered anyway. "Yeah, I have the day shift."

He nodded. "I'll bring you lunch then."

Sakura closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind."

She hated the way her heart warmed at his words.

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow then."

She tried to walk past him to the bedroom door, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Sakura ..."

Her throat clenched. She refused to turn her gaze to him.

"Sakura ... look at me," he said, his voice gentle.

She swallowed thickly. Why could she never seem to ignore that command? Her eyes drifted toward him against her will.

Kakashi's expression was soft and caring, and she had to struggle not to tear up.

"What?" she managed to get out.

"It's going to be okay." His dark grey eyes were so confident that she found herself almost believing him.

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat again and looked at the wall. "No, it's not."

He pulled her into a hug then, tucking her to his chest and letting his chin settle on the top of her head. She hated herself for wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him tightly. Her eyes began to water.

"Yes," he said. "It is."

She had to leave before she began crying again. Tugging herself away, she fled the apartment without looking back.

* * *

 

When Sakura made it to her house, she found that Sarada wasn't back yet. Unbelievably grateful, she headed directly for her shower. She needed the white noise of the falling water to numb her mind, needed the hot droplets to wash away the last 24 hours.

She ignored the twinge in her heart at the thought of cleansing herself of Kakashi like nothing had never happened. She could still smell him on her skin, in her clothes, and it made her think about all the tender moments they'd shared that morning, all the times when she had felt that he really, truly loved her.

She shook her head, frustrated, and turned on the shower. This was what she had to do … forget that she had ever slept with Kakashi. They would talk tomorrow, then they would never talk about it again.

And they would definitely never  _do_ it again.

* * *

 

Sakura was making dinner when Sarada finally returned from her mission.

"Hi, Mom!" the dark-haired girl called as she dropped her pack in the hallway.

"Hi, honey," Sakura responded. "Don't leave that there … put it away in your room like you're supposed to."

Her daughter scowled, then sighed, put-upon, and picked up her pack. "Fiiine."

Sakura heard the sound of the shower a few minutes later and sighed. She was an idiot; it wasn't only Sasuke who would be hurt by what she had been doing lately ... she had been putting her daughter's feelings at risk too. Sarada may not have had the best relationship with her father, but they were working on it.

Inner Sakura rolled her eyes.  _When he's home … which isn't very often._

Sakura sighed again.  _She loves him. She would be devastated if I did anything to make him not want to come home._

 _So you're not allowed to be happy because Sasuke would abandon his daughter … more than he already has … if you hurt him?_ Inner Sakura was frustrated.

_First of all, I am happy. I have a loving husband-_

_Who's never here …_

Sakura ignored her inner self.  _I have a loving husband and a wonderful daughter, a good job-_

_Which is only partly satisfying …_

Sakura sighed for a third time.  _Shut up. I'm happy. And even if I weren't ... no, I wouldn't be allowed to be happy if it meant that my daughter was unhappy. That's what being a parent is._

_You don't think she'll pick up on your unhappiness and that will make her unhappy?_

Sakura was quiet for a minute.  _This is a ridiculous argument. I'm happy, so it's irrelevant._

 _Keep telling yourself that ..._ Inner Sakura shrugged.

Sarada's voice interrupted Sakura's thoughts. "Mom? When's dinner going to be ready? I'm starving."

"Oh, not long," she replied in as normal a tone as possible. "You can set the table."

Sarada studied her mother with a frown. "Are you okay? Is it Dad?"

Sakura's heart twisted. "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with your dad. Why would you think that?"

"I dunno," Sarada said, brows still furrowed. "Sometimes you get this look when you're thinking about him."

"I'm not sure what you mean. Everything's fine." Sakura's voice was calm, but inside she was panicking. Maybe Inner Sakura had been right about Sarada picking up on her moods ... "You don't need to worry about me. I'm supposed to worry about you, not the other way around." She reached out and tweaked her daughter's nose, plastering on a fake smile.

Sarada rolled her eyes and went to the cabinet to grab plates. "Do you know if Kakashi-sama is in town? I want to get him to reach me something new," she said.

Sakura's heart twisted tighter, and she had to pause before responding in order to make sure her voice didn't waver.

"I think he is," she finally answered, eyes focused on the skillet, trying not to remember the way he'd felt around her, inside of her.

"Awesome!" Sarada exclaimed as she carried the plates to the table. "He's a really good teacher, even if he does always get there late ..."

"Yeah, he is," Sakura agreed quietly, spooning rice into two small bowls and handing them to her daughter. "Here, take these to the table. I want to hear about your mission."

"Okay. It was fun, actually!" Sarada said happily. "There was this really fat merchant, but his daughter was super pretty ... prettier than Ino-oba-san."

Sakura forced a smile as she poured the curry she had been cooking into a serving bowl and brought it to the table. "So what did you have to do?"

Sarada rambled on, and Sakura felt herself relaxing a bit. She just had to push thoughts of Kakashi to the back of her mind, and everything would be fine ...

Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N: More of a transition chapter, but necessary.


End file.
